I'm 24 years old, I've been at this job for just about 9 months, and every second I'm here longer makes me terrified I'm going to lose my license.Some background: I started this job on a recommendation from a family member, and I liked what I saw originally. A smaller psych facility in the Bay Area. And then the trouble began almost instantly. My boss lost my background check paperwork twice and only dealt with it when I mentioned to the family member what had happened, and she mentioned it to the facility administrator, whom she is friends with. From there, it has been all downhill. Here's a list of everything that has happened:Hired on 9/25, didnt start until 11/13 because she lost the paperwork twice.Trained me with a noc shift nurse who then slept through both of my training days after telling me incorrect information on how to do my job.Did not bring up any issues with me until late March/early April, recounting issues in February and back, no follow up for almost 2 months despite me being new and her knowing that I would need some observation.Did not actually do my 6 month review when she said she would, in fact, 6 month review became meeting where she told me she was completely unimpressed by my job performance and did nothing but write down a vague plan of improvement that she has not ever followed up on or referenced since.Every meeting has been premised by "catching up", "nothing bad", but then followed by intense socratic questioning and "gotcha" games to try and make me look like I did something improperly.First 3 meetings were nothing but question after question and her admitting she didnt know how to help me, then taking time off and coming back.Gave the ADON responsibility of checking my charting, zero feedback this far in 2 months of it being an issue.Brought another nurse into our meeting to "witness", when in reality he continued to "suggest" I was wrong and I had not remembered correctly, when in reality she was completely incorrect, felt like coercion and bullying.Has said she needs to retrain me, has had one single meeting with me after identifying areas where I needed improvement, and is now taking what amounts to 9 days off despite my review date approaching.Continually focused on solely the negatives instead of identifying positive factors as well so that there is some semblance of me being a whole person with both strengths and opportunities to improve, as opposed to being completely incorrect.Told me that eval period was extended one month when it was actually extended over 3 months (meeting was 5/10, eval final date is 8/17)Tried to pin other peoples incorrectly done work on me despite knowing what my signature and the other person's signature and handwriting look like.Gave me false information about calling licenses staff for MHW positions when she knew the union needed to have a stake in it and could potentially file paperwork.Overall, continued unfair treatment with increasingly obvious favoritism and zero parity among staff when it comes to treatment. Obstinate refusal to show any kind of attempt to work with me until the last possible moment, when she then decides to take more time off. Has placed all onus of follow up on me and other people instead of being actively involved like she is claiming to be. No follow up from the start, zero communication and what little attempts at communication she has made have mainly ended in her telling me she doesnt know how to help me despite me mentioning how I best learn and actively asking for examples to help me understand. Other people have made it blatantly obvious I am doing a good job and feel safe and confident with me as a manager and nurse.Other workers have had major issues as well. For example, workers who have been there longer than 5 years are given incredible leniency. Half the regular staff show up, more often than not, 15 minutes or more late without any courtesy call or notification. Their incorrectly or half done work that is often left for their next shift goes overlooked and uncriticized.I understand that favoritism and preferential treatment exist in the real world, despite my hope and desire for meritocracy to rule out over all. But I'm really at the end of my rope here. I'm walking on eggshells more than ever before (and being a 6ft2in, 320+lbs male nurse with size 14 quadruple wide feet brings new meaning to it), and seeing or even hearing from my boss is enough to get me choked up and panicky. I do my best to appear calm and collected in meetings, not be on the defensive, ask lots of open ended questions, etc., but everyone I've talked to seems to think that I need to look elsewhere. So, my more experienced and collected nursing friends, what do I do? It seems that HR won't be an option, from what I've read here. Do I just pack my bags and move away from here as quickly as possible? What sort of attitude do I take up? I've recently begun to stand up for myself and assert that I have strong positives going for me and I'm not just completely incompetent. (I graduated from a private school university in 4.5 years right out of high school, I'm outgoing, friendly, professional, all the right intrinsic qualities you'd want in someone who cares for you.) Or am I just wacky and feeling a persecution wind blowing me back?
No, no, NO!! Do not show weakness! She will use it against you, even if you are trying to improve communication. For many reasons, including your manager's issues, and your difficulty going to work and feeling good, I would look for another job, and move on. Then add in the apparent lack of professionalism by your peers, and probably you are being put in some nasty situations, that's another reason to get out of there. I think you will find its a whole new world if you can work in a better situation.
If you ever feel like your boss has put a bullseye on your back...it's time to go.
Not necessarily right this second, try to line up something else first.
This is not about "losing your license" -- that gets thrown around all the time, unnecessarily. Do yourself a favor and look at your board of nursing site sometime and check out why nurses really DO lose their license. It's not because you annoy your boss or make mistakes -- it's doing and/or stealing drugs, purposely causing someone harm and being wildly negligent. You can lose your JOB over anything (or for no reason at all in an at-will state) but losing your license takes some work.
It's easier to get a new job while you still have one. That's especially important for new nurses. Focus your concerns on getting to the next stage, then leave your current place without burning any bridges (healthcare is small and things can come back to bite you in unpredictable ways down the line in your many years of future employment as a nurse).
You've learned things from this job that will influence how you feel out future potential bosses, what interview questions you ask and your nursing practice. Good luck with your job hunting.
Oh dear, this was quite tough to read through. The first response to your post, I agree with.
This sounded like a lot of pent up emotions and thoughts that needed to see the light of day.
Do you de-stress after work? Give yourself some 'me' time? Many nurses on their first job post graduation can go through a gungho-euphoric phrase before crashing down. This may be a little of what is happening.
That being said, you should not have to suffer unnecessarily. If you have made efforts to be assertive and voiced your dismay in a professional manner, with little to no outcome, I would perhaps suggest starting to look for something more suitable.
Don't quit though, as who knows. Perhaps things will change while you look for something. Perhaps you'll find the challenge teaches you more than it scares you. Etc.
Best of luck to you, whatever you choose to do. Chin up, and do your best!
Although I am a Psych NP, it never ceases to amaze me how many extremely dysfunctional people there are, some of whom rise to some type of position in spite of it.
This seems to be especially prevalent in nursing. I know, anecdotal.
My suggestion is to beef up your resume and start interviewing.
No experience, however bad or frustrating, is ever worthless. Sometimes the awful crap we go through is needed to mold us into better and wiser people.
It does sound like this facility is very disorganized and there are other problems as well. I would not say anything further to them but just keep working best you can while looking for a different job. Keep a low profile because you will need to use them for a reference. And just FYI for future meetings, just because someone is there as a "witness" doesn't mean that they are not allowed to speak also in that meeting, dual role. I hope you can find a job that will be better for you, good luck!
So ... having labored thru the OP twice, where is the nepotism?
Thank you for putting in the hard work for the rest of us:up:. I read 95% of it, didn't see the nepotism, and didn't have the energy to read it again.
To the OP, I guess the real question is, can you tolerate this place as it is or not? It sounds like not. You are unlikely to change things enough to make it an acceptable job for you. In that case, begin looking for something else.
Specializes in Med/Surg/Infection Control/Geriatrics.
My colleagues have given you some very good advice. And, if I may offer a gentle suggestion, don't cross the boundaries. You mentioned communication regarding your lost paperwork which really is no one's business but yours and those involved in doing the background.
Don't discuss work with people who know your team. Bad idea.
You are young in your career, my friend and you have much to offer. Please don't lose heart!
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I'm 24 years old, I've been at this job for just about 9 months, and every second I'm here longer makes me terrified I'm going to lose my license.Some background: I started this job on a recommendation from a family member, and I liked what I saw originally. A smaller psych facility in the Bay Area. And then the trouble began almost instantly. My boss lost my background check paperwork twice and only dealt with it when I mentioned to the family member what had happened, and she mentioned it to the facility administrator, whom she is friends with. From there, it has been all downhill. Here's a list of everything that has happened:Hired on 9/25, didnt start until 11/13 because she lost the paperwork twice.Trained me with a noc shift nurse who then slept through both of my training days after telling me incorrect information on how to do my job.Did not bring up any issues with me until late March/early April, recounting issues in February and back, no follow up for almost 2 months despite me being new and her knowing that I would need some observation.Did not actually do my 6 month review when she said she would, in fact, 6 month review became meeting where she told me she was completely unimpressed by my job performance and did nothing but write down a vague plan of improvement that she has not ever followed up on or referenced since.Every meeting has been premised by "catching up", "nothing bad", but then followed by intense socratic questioning and "gotcha" games to try and make me look like I did something improperly.First 3 meetings were nothing but question after question and her admitting she didnt know how to help me, then taking time off and coming back.Gave the ADON responsibility of checking my charting, zero feedback this far in 2 months of it being an issue.Brought another nurse into our meeting to "witness", when in reality he continued to "suggest" I was wrong and I had not remembered correctly, when in reality she was completely incorrect, felt like coercion and bullying.Has said she needs to retrain me, has had one single meeting with me after identifying areas where I needed improvement, and is now taking what amounts to 9 days off despite my review date approaching.Continually focused on solely the negatives instead of identifying positive factors as well so that there is some semblance of me being a whole person with both strengths and opportunities to improve, as opposed to being completely incorrect.Told me that eval period was extended one month when it was actually extended over 3 months (meeting was 5/10, eval final date is 8/17)Tried to pin other peoples incorrectly done work on me despite knowing what my signature and the other person's signature and handwriting look like.Gave me false information about calling licenses staff for MHW positions when she knew the union needed to have a stake in it and could potentially file paperwork.Overall, continued unfair treatment with increasingly obvious favoritism and zero parity among staff when it comes to treatment. Obstinate refusal to show any kind of attempt to work with me until the last possible moment, when she then decides to take more time off. Has placed all onus of follow up on me and other people instead of being actively involved like she is claiming to be. No follow up from the start, zero communication and what little attempts at communication she has made have mainly ended in her telling me she doesnt know how to help me despite me mentioning how I best learn and actively asking for examples to help me understand. Other people have made it blatantly obvious I am doing a good job and feel safe and confident with me as a manager and nurse.Other workers have had major issues as well. For example, workers who have been there longer than 5 years are given incredible leniency. Half the regular staff show up, more often than not, 15 minutes or more late without any courtesy call or notification. Their incorrectly or half done work that is often left for their next shift goes overlooked and uncriticized.I understand that favoritism and preferential treatment exist in the real world, despite my hope and desire for meritocracy to rule out over all. But I'm really at the end of my rope here. I'm walking on eggshells more than ever before (and being a 6ft2in, 320+lbs male nurse with size 14 quadruple wide feet brings new meaning to it), and seeing or even hearing from my boss is enough to get me choked up and panicky. I do my best to appear calm and collected in meetings, not be on the defensive, ask lots of open ended questions, etc., but everyone I've talked to seems to think that I need to look elsewhere. So, my more experienced and collected nursing friends, what do I do? It seems that HR won't be an option, from what I've read here. Do I just pack my bags and move away from here as quickly as possible? What sort of attitude do I take up? I've recently begun to stand up for myself and assert that I have strong positives going for me and I'm not just completely incompetent. (I graduated from a private school university in 4.5 years right out of high school, I'm outgoing, friendly, professional, all the right intrinsic qualities you'd want in someone who cares for you.) Or am I just wacky and feeling a persecution wind blowing me back?
Whew! That was difficult to read. Nothing like paragraphs to make things easier to read.
This looked like a huge vent - with too much identifying information - that would better have been written in your journal.
It sounds like a difficult situation, but I don't understand quite why you're complaining of nepotism when it seems that you got your job through nepotism. And as for losing your license - people don't lose their licenses over poor orientation, poor charting or being a poor nurse. They lose their licenses for drug diversion, drug use on the job and having sex at work - either with a patient who isn't able to consent, with someone who expressly did not consent, or with a coworker when they shoud have been working. We see new nurses post about being afraid they're going to lose their licenses when all it means is they don't like their jobs and want to quit.
It's possible that these people don't want to work with you BECAUSE you got your job through nepotism. It's possible that they've been trying to work with you, but you don't get it. It's possible - although not likely - that all your problems are someone else's fault and nothing to do with your behavior or knowledge deficit or the fact that you got hired through nepotism. (Which I really don't understand - why be so disparaging about favoritism and nepotism when you've benefitted from it? ). Meritocracy does exist - it maybe even exists where you are. We're only getting one side of the story. It just seems a little hypocritical (or a lot even) to admit that you got your job with the help of a relative, and then blast nepotism, favoritism and preferential treatment.
Bottom line, you probably need to get a new job. Get it on your own merits next time, or else stop complaining about nepotism, favoritism and preferential treatment.
Julius Seizure
1 Article; 2,282 Posts
I know it isn't all that helpful, but I initially read the title of your post as "My DoN is a terrifying neoplastic bully. What do I do?"