Mourning my job, need a hug

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in Cardiac.

Well, the inevitable finally happened today -- I had to give up my job. I have been working on CCU for 6 months and was really enjoying it -- I just love cardiology, and there's always so much to learn! Even though I don't think I could have kept up the pace and the stress forever, I was really hoping to give it a good couple or three years. I had an awesome manager and a lot of good supportive co-workers.

But, the position was night shift, and despite my best efforts, my body would not let me do it. I wound up with major depression, a 22-lb weight loss, iron deficiency anemia, and recurrent sinus infections. I tried cutting back my hours but even that was not enough.

My doctor wrote me the letter today saying that I needed to get off nights effective immediately. My manager was (and has been) very understanding about it, but there is simply nothing available on day shift and in fact a few people are waiting for positions to come up.

It is a large organization and I do have another PRN job there for now (I am also an echo tech). So I am not completely high and dry, and there may be other options in other departments. My performance was never a problem. For heaven's sake, I'm an experienced nurse, something will come up either here or in some other facility.

Still ... it is just hard. I really wanted to do this. I feel like a failure. My husband does not understand why I'm crying -- "You were always so sick, you should be relieved!"

If you've read this far, thank you for listening to my vent. Hopefully there is a happy ending somewhere, but right now I am just sad, sad, sad. Stories with happy endings -- or just a little prayer/good thought -welcome if you can spare it :cry:

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I'm so sorry about your job. Even though it was a hard decision, you did the right thing. Nights isn't for everyone and it does wreak havoc on some people.

Is it possible to go on a waiting list for a day position in your department? Sooner or later a position will open.

I have been working nights for the past 10 yrs. and always loved it. Then I became pregnant and could not handle the shift. I became per-diem and now I work all shifts which, even though it is not all day shifts, it is better than straight nights.

Good luck. Don't feel like a failure.

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Specializes in Too many to list.

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Of course you are in mourning, losing anything you love is like losing part of yourself. I hope for you, as you try to recover your health, the highest possible outcome. May you be surrounded with Light and Love.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho.

I agree even if you could find a rotational shift someplace its better than working straight nights. I dont tolerate nights well either and have had to go back to a rotational shift for a while (i hope). So far so good, but i know i cant keep it up for long. I dont sleep during the day so im constantly sleep deprived. When your 20 you can do that for a while, but approaching middle age, the all night thing just doesnt work, at least for me.

Hang in there, something will come up with you least expect it. Take the opportunity to get yourself healthy and then take it from there.

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:icon_hug:

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

Give yourself about 3-4 months, @ some point, you'll realize just how bad you felt on nights, and how much better life is on days!

If it's "in the cards" for you to work :redbeathe iology, it will happen (and on days, too!).

Meanwhile, :flowersfo :icon_hug:

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:heartbeat:icon_hug::redbeathe with time

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Specializes in CLNC, numerous fields, Supervision.

23 years ago --- I was fired from my first ever job out of nursing school as a single parent because of sleep deprivation and the effects of that on my performance, I felt I HAD to do both jobs (full-time mom and full-time night nurse) and there were NO other positions available in the hospital - no one listened to my pleas for help, or support and it took me a few days after being fired, and several regular night's sleep, to realize that I WAS sleep deprived over a period of 6-months - I tried to explain it to the DON, making sure that she knew I was not excusing my mistakes or asking for reconsideration, just trying to clue them in so it didn't happen to some other new nurse - she blew it off --- and it took me nearly 15 years to over come the psychological effects that the failure at my first nursing position had on my view of my nursing abilities :sofahider even with many lauds and successes over the years...

what a blessing you were experienced enough to know what to do and investigate the issues and causes on your own:caduceus:.... yes, it is hard, but you definitely made the correct decision. :yelclap:

b'Shalom

Henaynei

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

I understand. I'm sorry. Best of luck to you.

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I'm very sorry. Of course, you know how important it is to take care of YOU, but I'm sure giving up a job you love so much is a big loss to you.

Amanda

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Specializes in ICU, tele.

Hugs to you! Sorry about your situation.:icon_hug:

PS- I love your avatar!

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Specializes in Nursing assistant.

I absolutely understand why you are crying. Get some rest, though, and things will look better soon.

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