Mother Hen

[Kooky Korky]

have you ever worked with a nurse who thought she needed to be super sweet to get the aides to do their terribly hard work? who frequently brought them food and thanked them all the time for doing what they are paid to do?

i believe in being as nice to everyone as possible, showing respect to all. and being a guy, i do a whole lot of helping the ladies with heavy patients. i don't quite understand the mindset of thanking someone for coming to work and doing what they're supposed to do, what they are hired to do. they are not children and they don't need me or anyone else to mother hen them. imho.

that's not to say that i don't appreciate them or tell them i appreciate them or say things like, "we had a good day, yes? thanks, you guys." or even occasionally take in some bagels or donuts. but i think there's not a requirement for me to spend my hard-earned money on my coworkers. i think being courteous and helpful every day, thanking them as we go if they do something truly over and above, letting them know that i really do appreciate when they go the extra mile - these are enough. no one is thanking me for my everyday work. no red carpet is rolled out when i arrive. why must i do those things for the aides?

i think that adults should come to work when scheduled, short of a true emergency. they should have a positive attitude on the job, leaving their personal woes at home. if they are too overwhelmed by a personal matter, it might be best for them to not come in. really. i don't have time to worry about them while i'm supposed to be taking care of patients. it's not that i don't care about my coworkers, although i probably don't care as much as i used to. it's just that, over the long years of my working life, i have learned that some people will suck you dry, given the chance. they will talk incessantly about their ex or whoever/whatever is going on in their lives. they will complain from now to next july about the assignment, lack of supplies, or whatever - but never talk to someone who can actually make needed changes - they want me or someone else to go to bat for them. i have enough of my own issues to try to change. i try to get them to see themselves as change agents and speak up, intelligently and professionally, of course, to the right party. they rarely do. so, they just go on moaning and complaining about management and insurers and the other shifts.

i guess i'm not a good motivator. personally, it is fear (of not having an income or benefits) that motivates me. most people are probably seeking more from work than just the money and benefits. yes, i do enjoy helping people, solving problems, and knowing that i am a good nurse. but i am not looking to buy friendship with food or kudos.

does it make me a bad nurse or a bad person if i choose to not mother hen the staff?

of course, as a guy, it's a little hard to mother anyone. imagine if i were papa roostering them, though!

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

i'm thinking the answer is somewhere in the middle ground between "you get a paycheck for doing your job already," and "you get more flies with honey than vinegar."

how about a sign-up in the staff room that asks for a treat once a week per shift, and people sign up for that a couple of weeks in advance, and bring the recipe? leave a copy of each recipe up on the board. everyone gets praise for bringing in their something, everyone is on a level playing field (no rank or pay differentials in cookbooks), and a more collegial spirit. keep it simple-- a coffee cake even if it's sara lee, a batch of cookies even if they're from frozen toll house dough, a batch of croissants or biscuits from the refrigerator section, a plate of hummus and salsa and whole-wheat chips, whatever. nobody should go broke or crazy over it-- it's a team-building thang.

[CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN]

I dunno...I agree with it being somewhere in the middle. I'm not sure what type of nursing you do but in LTC the CNAs do the bulk of the pt care. A good group of CNAs make or brake the type of shift you are going to have.

You can't make people care about their jobs or pts, but working as a team (helping out when you can) and making it a nice shift by bringing in goodies can go along way.

I don't think giving "treats" is mandatory or something you need to do alot. Praising for a job well done or a good shift and helping with a lift or two or answering a call bell when you are free are the ways I like participate but our society is so tuned in to getting a reward (be it a cookie or donut) that it is what is seen and recongnized first.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i think you should make some gently inquiries about not getting the award. or better yet - blow your own horn. write down the things you wrote here, give concrete examples, dates, names, whatever will job the reader's memory. then see how the boss compares you to the awardees. it might open boss' eyes.

in my experience, those awards are popularity contests. they have absolutely nothing to do with the actual work we do.

[tokmom, BSN, RN]

in my experience, those awards are popularity contests. they have absolutely nothing to do with the actual work we do.

that's how i'm starting to see it. i don't take pts as charge, but i do all the dc's and admits, plus put out fires and help heavily on the floor. the second i give an admit to a nurse, i'm suddenly not so popular. that's why i will never win that award. my boss loves me to death and even admits he depends on me heavily. but.. he doesn't chose the winners.

[JacknSweetpea]

I don't know about ya'll but if you were to work in the facility I work for....all you get is what you're entitled to by law...your paycheck! Okay, they do offer health & dental, 401K, and flex spending account but that's it. They don't do staff Xmas parties or gifts, no "nurse's week celebrations", no celebrations, or fringe benefits of any kind!

[cherrybreeze, ADN, RN]

i'm thinking the answer is somewhere in the middle ground between "you get a paycheck for doing your job already," and "you get more flies with honey than vinegar."

how about a sign-up in the staff room that asks for a treat once a week per shift, and people sign up for that a couple of weeks in advance, and bring the recipe? leave a copy of each recipe up on the board. everyone gets praise for bringing in their something, everyone is on a level playing field (no rank or pay differentials in cookbooks), and a more collegial spirit. keep it simple-- a coffee cake even if it's sara lee, a batch of cookies even if they're from frozen toll house dough, a batch of croissants or biscuits from the refrigerator section, a plate of hummus and salsa and whole-wheat chips, whatever. nobody should go broke or crazy over it-- it's a team-building thang.

huh?

i am not sure how this answers the question. the answer might lie somewhere in the middle, i can see and appreciate that point, but how does starting a rotation of bringing in treats have anything to do with it?

[cherrybreeze, ADN, RN]

in my experience, those awards are popularity contests. they have absolutely nothing to do with the actual work we do.

agree 100%. our quarterly awards were given based on nominations by peers, and then having our unit-based council vote. some of the recipients didn't exactly live out all of the "qualifications" to get you there, that's for sure.

i had to stop thinking of it as a personal thing, or i'd have felt pretty bad about myself.

[Mandychelle79, ASN, RN]

Right now we are having a shining star type of competition. Where co-workers and families are encouraged to fill out response card for staff that has done a good job. We get to read some of the responses that are given to fellow staff members. Many of them are for what I consider what you should do anyway.

I only fill them out for staff that goes above and beyond. I work on psych so at times our patients are there for an extended amount of time. We have all chipped in to get patients cake and ice cream and a small gift for their birthdays or staff will randomly bring in normal smelling shampoo. Those are the ones I feel should be recognized, not the ones who treat patients with respect ( that should be done anyway)

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

i'm thinking the answer is somewhere in the middle ground between "you get a paycheck for doing your job already," and "you get more flies with honey than vinegar."

how about a sign-up in the staff room that asks for a treat once a week per shift, and people sign up for that a couple of weeks in advance, and bring the recipe? leave a copy of each recipe up on the board. everyone gets praise for bringing in their something, everyone is on a level playing field (no rank or pay differentials in cookbooks), and a more collegial spirit. keep it simple-- a coffee cake even if it's sara lee, a batch of cookies even if they're from frozen toll house dough, a batch of croissants or biscuits from the refrigerator section, a plate of hummus and salsa and whole-wheat chips, whatever. nobody should go broke or crazy over it-- it's a team-building thang.

i don't like the "have to" aspect of it at all.

if i want to bring treats on occasion, i will. if not, though, i won't. besides, if it is a regularly occurring thing, it loses its specialness, doesn't it?

it becomes a burden to remember to bring stuff, to pay for it. furthermore, resentment builds against those who choose not to participate, even if we don't eat anything that is brought.

[Hygiene Queen]

Even with all of that, I have yet to win the quarterly award. It always goes to someone who just shows up, does her job and leaves. It really is a good thing I don't need stroking, or a cookie to do a good job.

I agree, those awards rarely mean anything.

I had to bust my butt for close to 20 years before I got any significant reward... it was a scholarship.

That was much better than a bad photo of me tacked to the bulletin board just because someone decided it was my turn to be "Employee of Month" or whatever...

I don't work for the praise.

If I had expected that, I would have quit years ago. Egads!

I also dislike empty praise. It's insulting and embarrassing.

However, if someone wants to thank me-- fine, if you mean it. Just don't do it to compel me to "perform". I'm not a monkey and I don't need you to toss me peanuts.

I have even returned or given a thanks to my nurse because it seemed the right thing to do. I felt it and I meant it.

I am, however, a strong believer in "catching" people when they are doing something right. If I see that someone clearly took the time and put XX amount of effort into something... you can be darn sure I'm going to let them know I see it and like it... and want more of it...

Maybe some people sort of go over the top with the rewards and praise because they can plainly see that the CNAs have a crap position... maybe trying to keep morale up.

Yes, the CNAs chose it and can improve their situation... but that is a whole other topic, which has discussed on AN before.

I think the "Mother Hen" goes way over the top, however, and encourages the nurse to be sucked dry and taken advantage of...

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

I go to work sick. Haven't called in for almost a year. I'm on every committee under the sun and my manager thinks I'm the charge nurse that holds the floor together. He calls me for advice. I help on the floor and work OT and won't leave my shift until my work is done.

Even with all of that, I have yet to win the quarterly award. It always goes to someone who just shows up, does her job and leaves. It really is a good thing I don't need stroking, or a cookie to do a good job.

This is interesting because it happens in every workplace.

There are two schools of thought on this type of employee incentive. One is to reward expected work of an average employee as a tool to motivate to increased performance. The other is to reward exemplary work of an exemplary employee to serve as a role model for others. More often than not, the former is how the incentive is used.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

That was much better than a bad photo of me tacked to the bulletin board just because someone decided it was my turn to be "Employee of Month" or whatever...

About this post and the posts where it's a popularity contest...I worked on an employee recognition committee in my former job. The entire committee felt that when a recognition award lost its significance as a reward for outstanding work, receiving it was meaningless.

Nine times out of ten, employee recognition awards are started with good intentions to recognize outstanding work, and then, over time, they become nothing. I don't know why that happens...it just does.