Most Humorous Call-In Excuses

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

Just the other day, an employee decided to call-in on his last day of employment with our hospital. His brother is a nurse on my floor so that's how I know he called in with the following excuse:

Employee: "I'm not coming in today."

Nursing Services: "And your reason?"

Employee: "I have *** blindness."

Nursing Services: "Excuse me?"

Employee: "I have *** blindness. I can't see my *** coming into work today." Hangs up phone.

Now, I've heard this one before. But this was the first time I had actually heard of it being used. Only recommended on your very last day on a job at a place you never plan on returning to!

So what's the funniest excuse you've ever given or heard about?

Also adding to the older post

As a preface: I rarely call in and had a good record at work.. entire year no call-ins for quite a few years in fact. I guess that is one of the reasons they actually believed me when I finally had to call in due to a sneeze *blushes*. Somehow and I have NEVER done it again though got PT to show me some back strengthening excersizes, I strained my back severely when I sneezed. Had to be on flexerell for a few days then advil before my back was finally better.

Specializes in OB/GYN, Peds, School Nurse, DD.

The dumbest excuse I ever heard was from one of the women I was in nursing school with. She called in "pregnant." Then she told the rest of us that she hadn't actually missed her period, but she felt a little under the weather, and besides "my husband has the day off.":uhoh3: Idiot.

Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

Can't get to work today, my front door lock won't work and I can't get through the window..

no joke we had an employee call in with this excuse,

My electric garage door opener lost power I won't be in today. That was from a doctor. lol. As if garage doors don't have the override which is manual. Not mechanically inclined I guess.

Specializes in MS.
Just the other day, an employee decided to call-in on his last day of employment with our hospital. His brother is a nurse on my floor so that's how I know he called in with the following excuse:

Employee: "I'm not coming in today."

Nursing Services: "And your reason?"

Employee: "I have ass blindness."

Nursing Services: "Excuse me?"

Employee: "I have ass blindness. I can't see my ass coming into work today." Hangs up phone.

:lol2: :lol2:

TOO FUNNY...........................

Specializes in Rural Health.

Not really a call in excuse, but.....

A previous DON was called in the middle of the night b/c the ER in our small rural hospital when there was a car wreck and several ER patients. She couldn't come in b/c she was "making gravy."

Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.

I just shot my husband (really).

I took a call-in from a male CNA...his excuse? He had recently discovered he had hemorrhoids and was in pain.

I'm afraid I started the excuses to not come in if they try to call you in to cover someone else. A white lie of "I've been drinking tonight, too much to work". A few times of that and they stop calling you to come in. I've grown up since then though and now my rebuttal to that excuse is "come on in; I'll give you a urine test".

Blessings, Michelle

Surely there were at least a few that were quick enough on their feet to come back with "too much to work = too much to drive"

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Can't get to work today, my front door lock won't work and I can't get through the window..

no joke we had an employee call in with this excuse,

My electric garage door opener lost power I won't be in today. That was from a doctor. lol. As if garage doors don't have the override which is manual. Not mechanically inclined I guess.

If ours have an override I am not aware of it. :stone Our old house when this happened, once we got into the house we could shut something off in the garage to start using it manually, but you had to get into the house first. I don't carry a house key, I use the garage always, but recently my husband put one of those key code locks on our front door just in case and for the kids. I got stuck in an accident once and wasn't going to be home when my kids got there so after that we decided to put that on so they would always be able to get into the house.

Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

Garage door overrides, are usually those hanging down ropes. If you pull on it is disingauges something, so that then you can open and close the door by hand

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.

Also, I know the comment was old, but for the comment about "What kind of people are we hiring" when some have been arrested. You can get arrested for many things, none of which have to be bad in the sense that you shouldn't be able to be a nurse.

A friend of mine was flying up in Nov for us to go to Estes Park for the weekend, I get a call from her in the morning that she was arrested and can I get her a later flight. Than got a call later that she was booked and bailed out of the one county but they were taking her to the other county to book her there and she would call when her husband bailed her out and would head to the airport.

Turns out, she had unpaid parking tickets. She hired an attorney like 2 years prior to handle the tickets, he told her they were taken care of. Apparently they weren't and he withdrew from the cases even though he took her money. She had no idea about any of this. She had just gotten a speeding ticket a few months prior and nothing about this came up when the cop ran her lic.

Had she been working as a nurse, her getting arrested in this case would have no bearing as to the type of nurse she is. I have also known someone that got arrested for defending someone that was getting beat up. Everyone was arrested and it all got sorted out later and charges dropped on him. I myself almost got arrested for something totally BS. Thankfully I had luck on my side that day and a call came in to the cop while he had me cuffed that he knew couldn't be for real, it was than he realized there might be more to this story and let me go.

So bottom line, arrest doesn't always = guilt, or a terrible crime.

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Garage door overrides, are usually those hanging down ropes. If you pull on it is disingauges something, so that then you can open and close the door by hand

This is IN the garage though right?? So if you clicker isn't working when you get home and you are locked out than you are screwed right? I wouldn't think the override would be outside, if that were the case then anyway could break into your garage with no problem.

Specializes in Home Health Care.

This isn't a call in, but a turn down to be put on call . I had just gotten a fresh new spray tan and had to explain that I couldn't be placed on call because I couldn't wash my hands for at least 24hrs. The caller got quite a chuckle and told me that was the most humorous she's ever heard...

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