Most Humorous Call-In Excuses

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

Just the other day, an employee decided to call-in on his last day of employment with our hospital. His brother is a nurse on my floor so that's how I know he called in with the following excuse:

Employee: "I'm not coming in today."

Nursing Services: "And your reason?"

Employee: "I have *** blindness."

Nursing Services: "Excuse me?"

Employee: "I have *** blindness. I can't see my *** coming into work today." Hangs up phone.

Now, I've heard this one before. But this was the first time I had actually heard of it being used. Only recommended on your very last day on a job at a place you never plan on returning to!

So what's the funniest excuse you've ever given or heard about?

Someone I went to nursing school with once called in because she had set her scrubs on fire trying to dry them in the microwave.

Now that's funny! :D

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"I can't come in because my favorite scrubs are dirty and the dryer is broken"

a few weeks ago one of our student nurses phoned in with the excuse that all her uniforms were dirty

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Specializes in oncology, trauma, home health.

Why did I get reamed for posting about a nurse calling in for a herpes outbreak and how unprofessional it was for the charge to tell me, and yet it is obvious by these posts that the crew you work with always knows the excuse used.?.

I don't see any righteous posters posting about how it's none of your business or unprofessional to gossip...

BTW, I enjoy reading these and knowing that there are other people out there who are also unprofessional gossipers.

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Specializes in Mental Health.

'Hello, this is Mr X my wife can't come into work today as she is giving birth to a cow'

As we all knew that Mr and Mrs X breed Rare breed cattle it was a reasonable excuse.

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...

I work with a nurse who had to call off once because there were thugs with guns having it out on his street and he didn't want to stand at the bus stop until the shot guns were put away. Not funny, but unusual.

...

I would not want to stand at the stop either.

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I was discussing this topic with some nurses at work today. One nurse had a contribution. She said she had recently called in and was asked for the reason:

Nurse: "I'm sick."

Nursing Services: "What kind of sickness?"

Nurse: "The kind that makes me miss work!"

I know, they had no business asking her what her sickness was but she didn't miss a beat!

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

I had a nurse call in to tell me she that she wouldn't be in because was miscarrying a baby and was on her way to the hospital....only to find out later she had had an emergency hysterectomy sometime earlier and the charge nurse had been her transportation to ED the night it was done!!!!! :bugeyes:

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

We had one CNA that used "I can't find my husband, but when I do, I'll leave the kids with him and come in. " Another (but sad, not funny) said " My husband is high and I can't leave the kids w/ him" . But the funniest I have heard was "I was on my way to work, and I sh*t all over myself and had to come back home" I think I would've made something up":chuckle

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We had one CNA that used "I can't find my husband, but when I do, I'll leave the kids with him and come in. " Another (but sad, not funny) said " My husband is high and I can't leave the kids w/ him" . But the funniest I have heard was "I was on my way to work, and I sh*t all over myself and had to come back home" I think I would've made something up":chuckle

Hopefully, those were two different husbands!

I've seen that last excuse used by a nurse to leave work.

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"my muffler is frozen"

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Re nurses leaving d/t personal incontinence...

I keep two extra sets of scrubs in my locker, anticipating the worst. Why do we wear white?

They've been handy when I dropped a full hemovac and it exploded. And when co-workers' Aunt Flo has dropped in to see them unexpectedly.

And the night of the poop ocean...

A profoundly aphasic gentleman with explosive diarrhea and an unsteady gait. Awakening at night, confused, and unable to figure out how to get our attention, he decided to stand at bedside, grasp the rails, and assume a semisquatting position with his bottom toward the door. The subsequent flood got our attention, all right.

That was the night that I increased my par level to TWO sets of scrubs, instead of just one back up.

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Specializes in Public Health, Teaching, Geriatric, M/S.

I can identify with call in's after working in a few nursing homes. The CNA's tend to have very colorful excuses Saturday or Sunday mornings when they were foolish enough to brag about the party they were going to the night before. The best excuse I took was from a 50+ year old CNA that was overwieght, very overwieght. She called in a lot but the best reason was that she couldn't find her bra! I thought it was a joke at first but she insisted that she was serious and told her bra size! Trust me, she needed to wear a bra! I told her she could come a little late but surely it was not an excuse worthy of missing her shift! She came 1/2 hour late after she found it under something! Personally, I would have just said I was ill instead of that story!:chuckle

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