Most Humorous Call-In Excuses

[jeffrey_rn]

Just the other day, an employee decided to call-in on his last day of employment with our hospital. His brother is a nurse on my floor so that's how I know he called in with the following excuse:

Employee: "I'm not coming in today."

Nursing Services: "And your reason?"

Employee: "I have *** blindness."

Nursing Services: "Excuse me?"

Employee: "I have *** blindness. I can't see my *** coming into work today." Hangs up phone.

Now, I've heard this one before. But this was the first time I had actually heard of it being used. Only recommended on your very last day on a job at a place you never plan on returning to!

So what's the funniest excuse you've ever given or heard about?

[Pudnluv, ASN, RN]

We actually had a nurse call in one night to say she had been arrested. Apparently had been pulled over and there was an outstanding warrant out on her. We couldn't believe she would 1. Tell the truth and 2. Use her one phone call to call work. She had also no showed one night and said she couldn't find her cell phone to call us. She no longer works there.

We also had a nurse call in saying she thinks she has a DVT. We figured it really meant desires vacation time! We still laugh about that one today!

[BSN_after_40]

Pudnluv

I too remember a CNA calling in because she was in jail. Makes you wander who is taking care of our vulnerable adults! I love the DVT! I think I will use that comment on my next vacation day request form, my boss will love it!

[BSN_after_40]

RE correctlywrong:

What a night mare!!! I thought having accidental breast milk leaks were a great reason to keep extra scrubs in my locker! Thankfully, all my kids are on solids nows!!!

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

I would not want to stand at the stop either.

haha my facility would have made me just go pick her up, lol

i had a nurse call me one night, i was 11-7 super, she jokingly told me "i'm calling in dead". i thought it was hilarious so on her slip i wrote "called in dead".

um...my boss didnt think it was so funny because she thought the girl was really dead.

oops!

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

I was in nursing school and had skills lab the following morning.

i was doing laundry and after 10 minutes realized something was banging in my dryer. when i opened the door there was blood dripping off the door! i had dried my cat. he lived, thank the Lord. but the next morning i called the instructer and told her i had dried my cat and couldnt come in. they gave me hell for the whole 2 years of the program, lol.

[uscstu4lfe]

I still haven't heard any good ones! Although I just wanted to say... I'm still a "newbie" and I recently was worried about calling in sick several weeks ago. I finally decided I would, and when I did, all they said was "OK, we will take you off of the list." And that was it! I got no flack from anyone. I went into work later that week and one of the supervisors said, "hey, I didn't see you around the other night." I told her I called off sick and all she said was "I'm glad you are feeling better!" Also, the other nurses with whom I work didn't even care and said things happen so if you're sick, you're sick!

I just read the post above mine...Oh my God!

[cub77cub]

I have heard plenty of them. The best one is a CNA that called in to say

"I cannot come to work. I just found out that my dog has cataracts and I'm too upset to work." I said "And you are not coming to work...." She blurted out..."He has glaucoma too!!!"

Another one was a social worker that called in to say that her car wouldn't start. I asked her if she was going to try to get to work late. She said "It won't even turn over. The battery is dead". I said, "OK, well call me back after you call AAA." She then said "Wait a minute, I can't hear you. I have to turn off the radio".

Here's your sign...

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

when one of my former co-workers got married, she'd carried on and on about the wedding for the entire 18 months of her engagement. everyone wanted to go to see if this wedding was as wonderful as advertised. everyone got invited. someone had to work. they scheduled three nurses that night shift, and two of them called in sick and went to the wedding instead. interestingly enough, our head nurse was at the wedding . . . .

someone i work with now routinely (about every month) calls in sick because "i was on my way to work and i threw up all over myself."

or how about the guy who called in with: "i can't come to work because i'm so ashamed. i slept with my best friend's husband!" the woman who thought she was his best friend was at work that night, and her husband was out "with friends."

then there's bill, who i worked with years ago. one night i got a phone call about 0400 from the sheriff's department just over the state line.

"do you have a bill jones working for you?"

"yes."

"is he supposed to work at 0700?"

"yes, why do you ask?"

"well, he said he had to work, and i was just making sure before i let him out of jail."

bill had been arrested for dui for the umpteenth time and got sent to jail on a work release. since he was either in jail or at work, he volunteered for lots of extra overtime. his wife and his mother took turns driving him to work on his scheduled work days, and his girlfriend drove him to work when he worked ot!

sheds a whole new light on all the times bill called in because he was drunk, because he woke up in a strange place with a strange woman and couldn't find his car, because he'd wrecked his car and had no transportation or (once) because he was in the middle of a fight with his wife and she said she'd leave him if he left the fight to go to work -- because she didn't believe he was really going to work anyway.

[jstbreathe]

Had one call in one day...

"I am flooding", Me thinking the water is coming in her house.... NO!

"I started my period and I am floodin all over!":bugeyes:

[mondkmondk]

I took a call-in from a male CNA...his excuse? He had recently discovered he had hemorrhoids and was in pain.

I'm afraid I started the excuses to not come in if they try to call you in to cover someone else. A white lie of "I've been drinking tonight, too much to work". A few times of that and they stop calling you to come in. I've grown up since then though and now my rebuttal to that excuse is "come on in; I'll give you a urine test".

Blessings, Michelle

[twistedpupchaser]

One night early in the shift I answered the phone by hitting the loudspeaker so that I could keep my hands free to write. There was a giggling followed by a familiar voice calling out, "Shh, I'm calling work." this was followed quickly by my workmate calling in sick.

20/60 later I answered the phone again with the same voice, not hiding the drunkeness this time, "Can I have a taxi from _____ to _____, there are 5 of us so we need a mini bus" Without thinking I replied that I couldn't supply a taxi but if she came in later and asked nice I would throw in a drip and put her on O2 to relieve the hangover. For some reason she hung up.......

[Thanet]

I am not too sure that it is OK to bump up an old thread but here goes...

I had to call in today late for work..

Reason?..

I was looking for an UFO in my back garden...

OK so as I was getting into my car to go to work a neighbours kid aged about 5 came to the car and with an anxious look in his face said he has lost his UFO (Toy) in my back garden... well I just had to go and find it for him eh?

Fortunately my manager thought it was sweet.