Moral/Ethical Advice

Published

Hi, all. I'm an LPN student and I need some advice on a moral/ethical issue about one of my classmates.

Some background info: My class is mostly not-your-average students - most of us are in our mid-to-late twenties and early thirties, but quite a few are in their 40's and 50's. We all get a long pretty well - which is a miracle, a whole bunch of women shoved together (there's only one man in our class). Most of us are pretty tight nit and no one goes running to our instructor over little minuscule issues - such as so-and-so's tattoo is showing or so-and-so didn't do that, blah, blah, blah. But I've recently come into some information that is a HUGE issue.

A woman in my class recently told me that she hasn't written a single paper - a woman she works with writes the papers for her. This woman asks my classmate to take her shifts and in exchange for working these shifts, the woman writes the papers for my classmate.

I really like my classmate - but this really, really IRRITATES me. I have been working my butt off - trying to do clinicals, care plans, study for tests, write papers - well, all of you know the workload nursing students deal with. Not only that, but I have a 3 yr old at home and a husband who works sometimes as much as 70 hours a week, give or take. My classmate, on the other hand, has several children but they're all grown (the youngest is 17) and her husband is disabled and receives disability - he stays home all day, does ALL the cleaning and cooking, manages the entire household so that his wife can focus on school. I know it's wrong, but I wouldn't be so irritated if this classmate of mine was a single mom with several kids to raise on her own or something - at least then I could empathize. What makes me even more irritated is that this woman has all this help from her husband, someone else writes her papers for her, and she supposedly has tons of time to study - and she's barely passing!

Anyway, enough of my rambling - what should I do? Should I talk to my instructor face-to-face? Should I leave an anonymous note? Should I send her an email? Should I not tell her at all? Guys, I really don't know what to do. I live in a small town, I have to deal with these women for another 4-5 months and I don't want them to find out and think of me as a snitch - but I really don't think it's fair for someone to be skating by like this when all the rest of us are working our butts off, earning the good grades we receive, and she's having someone else do half the work for her!

Please reply as soon as you can. Thanks for your advice!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

in my opinion - you should let karma run its course and keep quiet. i FEEL your pain. i dealt with almost the same thing. i went to school and earned my bachelor's - started school when my 1st child was a few months old and by the time i graduated i had 2 children so i went while i was pregnant and raising a toddler/newborn. i also worked the whole time with the exception of maternity leave. it was like i had a devil on my shoulder every morning the alarm went off - especially having to drag 2 kids out of bed at 5am after i stayed up til sometimes 2am studying. like i said, i KNOW how you feel.

the girl that bugged me to the point i considered squealing on her would tell me (and others) how she didn't do her assignments or didn't come to class when we were taking a test just bc she procrastinates. she was single/no kids/worked part time, etc. then, she'd go and tell our professors the CRAZIEST stories about why she didn't turn something in - even saying her grandmother died - and they would make exceptions which she'd laugh/brag about. so, here i am with blistered eyeballs, bouncing up and down on the freeway to try and stay awake so my things wouldn't be late - and she's getting the "it's okay...just get it turned in when you can."

i decided that if that's the kind of person she was there's no way i'd be the only one to recognize it, and it would come back to bite HER. think about it - if she's too lazy to do her own work and she's dishonest, a future employer will pick up on that while YOU will have a job and the knowledge you need because you did your own work. you don't need to ruin her life - she'll do that without your help.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

It sounds to me like a part of you is irritated because you are jealous that her husband doesn't work and does a lot for her, etc. At any rate, I'd let it be. It's not your business. If she were coming to clinicals on drugs and placing clients at risk or something of that nature then speaking up would be imperative.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thanks, backatit2. After sleeping on it, I've come to pretty much the same conclusion.

aem31 - I'm not jealous that her husband does everything for her - the point is that she doesn't have any EXCUSE for cheating because her husband does everything for her among other things. I could almost forgive her for cheating if she had no help, was a single mom, worked 60 hours a week, etc. But she has no excuse for her behavior, besides the fact that her grades are so bad that she's resorted to cheating, and the only reason her grades could be that bad is either she's lazy, she's stupid, or she procrastinates. She doesn't seem stupid, I just think she's lazy and overwhelmed and desperately wants to pass so she has resorted to cheating.

Also, this isn't about patient care. This is about getting in to the RN program. It irritates the heck out of me that I work my butt off for the grades I get and she doesn't. Our school only lets the BEST LPN students into the RN program - meaning you have to have awesome grades, do well on standardized tests, and get a recommendation from your instructor for clinical. It bothers me that she and I will be in the RN program together - me because I worked for it, and her because she cheated. It also makes me question her ethics and morals as a future nurse - if she's this desperate just to pass a class, how bad is she going to be as a nurse? Will she cover up her errors to keep her job? Will she do things she feels are right, even if she isn't supposed to or the MD orders contradict?

Anyway, I just hope that karma catches up to her. I can't tell you how tempted I am to just leave an anonymous note....I just don't want anything to bite me in the butt...and it's not like this classmate is annoying, I actually really like her and never would have thought she'd do something like this. I don't want to hurt her but what she's doing is SO wrong.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

What does your school's honor code/code of conduct require of you?

Mine says that if I know someone is cheating and don't report it, then I'm guilty of cheating as well.

We're all adults, there's no such thing as "squealing." That concept was left on the playground. Academic dishonesty is an academic crime. Do you want to be an accomplice?

We always have the choice between doing the right thing, or doing the easy thing.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds; Cardiac, NICU, PACU.

Although I know it may be hard to swallow you have to let it go. She will weed herself out her co worker cant take the NCLEX for her. Plus it would just be your word against hers. She would just say that she didnt say it or something of the sort and you all would still be in class together.

Like you said she's barely passing so eventually she wont be able to make it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Although I know it may be hard to swallow you have to let it go. She will weed herself out her co worker cant take the NCLEX for her. Plus it would just be your word against hers. She would just say that she didnt say it or something of the sort and you all would still be in class together.

Like you said she's barely passing so eventually she wont be able to make it.

my point exactly - in less words. :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.

You didn't actually see her cheat or see someone doing her paper for her. It's pretty much hearsay. With that I wouldn't go and say anything because it isn't going to look good on you. There is no proof she isn't writing it herself, it's not being plagiarized, so if you go to them and they confront her she says she did write it. Than what?

If their was any sort of actual way to prove she is cheating or you even actual saw it, than I would say different. But this isn't the case. She could just be making it all up thinking it makes her somehow seem "cool" that she hasn't done any papers. It could be all BS along with her husband apparently doing everything. Sometimes people can be very boastful about things that aren't really true because they somehow thinks it makes them look good.

Our school honor code says if we SEE cheating we are obligated to report it. I don't see where you have witnessed anything here. Also there isn't really any excuse to cheat, if she had 8 kids and worked full time and did this, it wouldn't make it any better or some how justified.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Wow...Why is this bothering you so much that you can't sleep?

There is only one answer to your question -- regardless of what your school's "code" says -- it would be ethically WRONG to report your classmate.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Wow...Why is this bothering you so much that you can't sleep?

There is only one answer to your question -- regardless of what your school's "code" says -- it would be ethically WRONG to report your classmate.

Wow! How would reporting exactly what happened be ethically wrong? I don't think I've ever read a more ridiculous statement.

If someone tells you that they robbed a bank, is it ethically wrong to report that to the police?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psychiatry, Forensics, Addictions.

Nobody likes a snitch, and nobody wants to be a snitch. It might come back to hurt you if your fellow classmates were to find out. It's not your problem what another student is allegedly doing outside of class. In my opinion, it is never appropriate to report, "tell on", snitch, etc.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ..
Our school honor code says if we SEE cheating we are obligated to report it. I don't see where you have witnessed anything here. Also there isn't really any excuse to cheat, if she had 8 kids and worked full time and did this, it wouldn't make it any better or some how justified.

I think 'see' in this context is arbitrary. It would be semantics to argue that because you didn't visually see the cheating occur you aren't obligated to uphold your school's honour code. You are aware of the cheating in some form or another - therefore you have born a metaphorical witness to it and thus seen it in some sense of the word.

I think, in this circumstance, you are in fact obligated to abide by your school's honour code. You are aware of cheating that is going on. I think that's enough to be obliged to report it via your school's honour code/

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion