Moral/Ethical Advice

[chinacatSN]

Hi, all. I'm an LPN student and I need some advice on a moral/ethical issue about one of my classmates.

Some background info: My class is mostly not-your-average students - most of us are in our mid-to-late twenties and early thirties, but quite a few are in their 40's and 50's. We all get a long pretty well - which is a miracle, a whole bunch of women shoved together (there's only one man in our class). Most of us are pretty tight nit and no one goes running to our instructor over little minuscule issues - such as so-and-so's tattoo is showing or so-and-so didn't do that, blah, blah, blah. But I've recently come into some information that is a HUGE issue.

A woman in my class recently told me that she hasn't written a single paper - a woman she works with writes the papers for her. This woman asks my classmate to take her shifts and in exchange for working these shifts, the woman writes the papers for my classmate.

I really like my classmate - but this really, really IRRITATES me. I have been working my butt off - trying to do clinicals, care plans, study for tests, write papers - well, all of you know the workload nursing students deal with. Not only that, but I have a 3 yr old at home and a husband who works sometimes as much as 70 hours a week, give or take. My classmate, on the other hand, has several children but they're all grown (the youngest is 17) and her husband is disabled and receives disability - he stays home all day, does ALL the cleaning and cooking, manages the entire household so that his wife can focus on school. I know it's wrong, but I wouldn't be so irritated if this classmate of mine was a single mom with several kids to raise on her own or something - at least then I could empathize. What makes me even more irritated is that this woman has all this help from her husband, someone else writes her papers for her, and she supposedly has tons of time to study - and she's barely passing!

Anyway, enough of my rambling - what should I do? Should I talk to my instructor face-to-face? Should I leave an anonymous note? Should I send her an email? Should I not tell her at all? Guys, I really don't know what to do. I live in a small town, I have to deal with these women for another 4-5 months and I don't want them to find out and think of me as a snitch - but I really don't think it's fair for someone to be skating by like this when all the rest of us are working our butts off, earning the good grades we receive, and she's having someone else do half the work for her!

Please reply as soon as you can. Thanks for your advice!

[CuriousMe]

Unfortunately for the OP there is no "easy" way out. If she does nothing we see it will bother her. If she goes and tells or writes a note, unless the class mate told any one else it is her word against the OP and that is not enough to get the lady kicked out. They will still have to do class together and then there is the friction.

The reason it will bother her, is likely because she knows what the right thing to do is.

It's not her responsibility to "get the lady kicked out." It's her responsibility to do the right thing and report what she knows (at that point it's the school's responsibility).... and there might be friction, which is just one more example of how the right thing is usually not the easy thing. Not being easy doesn't make it less right.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

Wow I am shocked at how many people are saying to let it go or that its not the OPs business! That is truly sad to me If the student in question really is writing her own papers why in the heck would she tell the OP that she wasnt? That makes absolutely no sense, the argument that because she didnt see it means it might not be happening is ridiculous. There is a reason that in nursing school you have to have a 77% to pass- a higher standard than almost all professions- because we want nurses who actually know their stuff! She isnt writing her own papers and is still barely passing, i wouldnt want her as my nurse! Why should the OP leave that to fate and just hope she gets caught or fails?? Take action now! If you're really worried about being a "snitch" then just write an anonymous letter saying what you were told by this classmate and that you'd like it looked into. If you write an anonymous letter nothing bad can come of it, but bad can certainly come from her cheating!

In the schools eyes it will matter that this poster didn't see anything. They will not punish this student without any sort of proof. There will be no way to prove that the student isn't writing her own papers. That is the point I was making. I have seen people "boast" about plenty of things that didn't make sense. It didn't make them look good but somehow they thought it did.

If this student reports this, (using her identity) and the other student denies it. Who is going to walk away looking bad. Especially if the OP approached it like she did in her original few posts. She will come off looking like a bitter student out to try and get people in trouble. (not at all saying this is the case). If she were to report it I would highly advice her to do it anonymously for that fact. Because nothing is going to be able to be done without proof, if she gave her identity and it got out it could make for a very miserable experience for her in school. I have seen first hand vindictive students starting rumors for various ridiculous reasons. Thankfully the school doesn't usually act without proof.

I am not one that is scared to snitch, or turns the other cheek at wrong doing going on. I don't condone cheating either and I don't agree with the whole "karma will eventually come so let it go" That said, we don't know all the facts in this case, I see a lot of resentment and bitterness coming from the OP about the alleged cheaters situation and without me having anyway to validate the claims I would would think about how I handled this.

It's not the same as someone bragging about robbing a bank. (as another poster stated) If a person came to me and bragged about robbing a bank, that at least would be a lot easier to prove and a connection can be made. Unlike in this case of someone allegedly writing a paper for someone else.

[CuriousMe]

So, just to be sure I have this right.....folks are only supposed to do the right thing, if the other person will be punished? If we're not sure they'll be punished, then we can take the easy way out?

Gotta love moral relativism...

I have a different perspective. There is right and there is wrong....what the school does or doesn't do, doesn't impact what is right and what is wrong. I live up to my responsibilities, do what I know is right and let others live up to theirs.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

So, just to be sure I have this right.....folks are only supposed to do the right thing, if the other person will be punished? If we're not sure they'll be punished, then we can take the easy way out?

Gotta love moral relativism...

I have a different perspective. There is right and there is wrong....what the school does or doesn't do, doesn't impact what is right and what is wrong. I live up to my responsibilities, do what I know is right and let others live up to theirs.

No I don't think you should only do the right thing if someone will for sure be punished. I do think one should pick their battles, given all the info I have seen from the OP (which their are 3 sides to every story) this isn't a battle I would pick with the information given.

Honestly I get the impression the OP is bitter towards this student and wonder how much that bitterness might be skewing the "real" story or her perception of things. This may not be the case, but that is how it appears to me.

[CuriousMe]

No I don't think you should only do the right thing if someone will for sure be punished. I do think one should pick their battles, given all the info I have seen from the OP (which their are 3 sides to every story) this isn't a battle I would pick with the information given.

Honestly I get the impression the OP is bitter towards this student and wonder how much that bitterness might be skewing the "real" story or her perception of things. This may not be the case, but that is how it appears to me.

I guess that's the difference, I don't pick and chose depending on how it might benefit me. I just do the right thing.

To each their own....

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

I guess that's the difference, I don't pick and chose depending on how it might benefit me. I just do the right thing.

To each their own....

I don't pick and chose depending on how it benefits me either. That's not what I said or implied, but thanks for twisting my words around.

[CuriousMe]

I don't pick and chose depending on how it benefits me either. That's not what I said or implied, but thanks for twist my words around.

So you "pick your battles" based on how it would benefit someone else? What other criteria would you use to "pick your battles?"

If I misunderstood, please enlighten us...

It's pretty clear cut to me....either a decision is made based on what happened (this woman told her someone else wrote all her papers), or it's based on what will happen (lady may or may not get punished, life might be more difficult for the OP).

[SarahMaria, MSN, RN]

Nurses are held to a much higher standard than the public. We are in positions of trust and honor. Why do you think we undergo extensive background checks and requirements to become nurses? The public entrusts us with their health and overall well-being. I am surprised by the responses to this post. If the person is having someone else write her papers, what else do you think she would be willing to do as a nurse? Do you suppose that if she forgot to pass medication to a patient that she would sign off that the medication was passed to avoid getting into trouble? I do. Only this time, she isn't cheating on a paper, she is taking away the patient's fundamental right to quality care.

For those of you who think it is childish to "rat someone out" or think that people should mind their own business, you should reconsider your career choice. Your responses have also shed light onto your character as well.

To the OP: You can send an anonymous letter to the professor. In that letter tell her what was told to you. Suggest that there should be a small writing assignment in class so that she can compare the writing style to the work turned in. Each new class I take, there is a written assignment due on the first day of class for this very reason. Also, if she told you, she probably has told others in the class and there may be a few of you with this ethical dilemma.

And for the record...if the person who is cheating tells the OP, that is not hearsay. Hearsay is if she was told by a third party about the lady cheating.

First of all, you are making all kinds of assumptions. None of us know this person, yet you are willing to judge her character. I am suprised that you believe this person would falsify medication records based on the information that she allegedly had somebody write papers for her. Nobody knows if that actually happened or not. I am shocked that everyone is prejudging her without knowing her side of the story. Maybe there is an explanation. Maybe she lied about somebody writing her papers. Who knows?

And to say that I should "reconsider my career choice" because I "think it's childish to rat somebody out" is only considering your narrow point of view. There is no reason to report a student for allegedly cheating when the only evidence is an unsubstantiated rumor. I also find it strange that you would suggest an in-classroom writing assignment in order to try and catch this student cheating. That is very vindictive.

As far as "my responses shedding light on my character", you must live in an idealistic world. In some places, if you report somebody to an authority figure, there may be serious consequences and retaliation. Therefore, one learns that "don't snitch" is the way to go. It is very sad that you judge people. What does that say about your character?

[backatit2]

That's exactly why people should keep their personal business to themselves; I never tell anyone how much support I get from my family so I can pursue nursing because it incites jealousy in other people. I realize that not everybody has the support system to help them get through life, and sometimes just mentioning how much support you get from your family can cause one to have enemies. I learned this the hard way.

I don't think you should report your classmate because you don't have any solid proof that she is actually having another person write her papers for her. She can easily argue that she did it herself. I think you should stay out of it or you'll easily create enemies as a result.

this is true - she said it wouldn't bother her so much basically if it was someone that was in the same situation. that proves it's not really the fact that a person is cheating - it's conditional - it's that they're cheating and they have support at home and an "easy life."

it's like saying you'd understand if a poor person robbed a bank bc they needed the money, but if a rich person did it then it'd be wrong.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

this is true - she said it wouldn't bother her so much basically if it was someone that was in the same situation. that proves it's not really the fact that a person is cheating - it's conditional - it's that they're cheating and they have support at home and an "easy life."

it's like saying you'd understand if a poor person robbed a bank bc they needed the money, but if a rich person did it then it'd be wrong.

EXACTLY! Which is what really makes me wonder what the "real" story is. It seems like there is a lot more to the story.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

So you "pick your battles" based on how it would benefit someone else? What other criteria would you use to "pick your battles?"

If I misunderstood, please enlighten us...

It's pretty clear cut to me....either a decision is made based on what happened (this woman told her someone else wrote all her papers), or it's based on what will happen (lady may or may not get punished, life might be more difficult for the OP).

First I don't need to enlighten everyone because YOU misunderstood my post. Second I am not even going to get into this with you. I gave my opinion on the situation and I addressed your passive aggressive comments towards my post. With that I won't discuss it with you further because it will just be more of the same stuff over and over. You will read into my post no matter what I say. Have a great night!

[aem31]

It's not about character or lack thereof. The OP has not witnessed the cheating. She has no way to prove it. If she speaks up, the cheater will likely deny, and the OP is going to come across as a liar or a spiteful person. Nursing school is hard enough without creating more troubles for oneself.

In this instance, I think the OP would be better suited to put the energy she is using worrying about this issue into her own studies.