Misogyny in Nursing

[Ruby Vee]

[color=#111180]here's a small sample of statements i've read on allnurses.com:

[color=#111180]"the majority of nurses are women and women are catty individuals."

[color=#111180]"unfortunately, i don't think backstabbing is confined to nurses, but rather in the female gender."

[color=#111180]"women can be the most canniving(sp?) things on the face of the earth.

[color=#111180]i think it's just the hormone thing."

[color=#111180]"because women are such catty b*tches!!!!"

[color=#111180]"you are right that nursing is a female dominated field & females are the biggist back stabbers. a instructed told me this."

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[color=#111180]misogyny is defined as "the hatred, mistrust or dislike of women."

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[color=#111180]what i never realized until reading "allnurses.com" the past few years is how many women are misogynists.

[color=#111180]the first time i read a header like "why are nurses such backstabbers?" or a post that flatly stated "women are nasty, catty, backstabbers" i fully expected the poster to be jumped upon with both feet by every woman reading the post. when that didn't happen, it surprised, then disappointed, then dismayed me. when so many female posters jumped in to agree with these misogynistic statements, i was shocked and saddened. i am no longer shocked by how many members of this board appear to hate, mistrust or dislike women, but i continue to deplore the pheonomenon. and that so many of these misogynists are women themselves -- that i find even more deplorable. hypocritical and deplorable.

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[color=#111180]anyone defining an entire gender through a lens of hatred or mistrust is, at best, a bigot. a woman defining her entire gender this way is, unless she attributes these same negative stereotypes to herself, her sisters and her best friend is also a hypocrite.

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[color=#111180]how many of us these days would publicly refer to a person with black skin as "the 'n' word"? it's just not done. would you refer to your gay male cousin and his long-term partner as "a pair of ****"? probably not in polite company. yet women are called -- even in popular music -- names describing female dogs, names intimating that they earn their livings taking money for sex or names defining them by their genitalia.

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[color=#111180]if we feel so negatively toward an entire gender, how are we treating our female patients? i find it difficult to believe that someone can make a bald statement about how they hate working with women because they're all catty and backstabbing and then go out and treat their female patients with caring and respect. and if we're working so hard to respect races, cultures and religions other than our own, why are we not working equally hard to respect both genders?

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[color=#111180]the fact that so many nurses are women would have led me to believe that this is a female-friendly web site. instead, the opposite is true. never have i read the hatred and vitriol against women that i've read here, much of it spouted by other women who then go on to say "i can say that because i am female myself."

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[color=#111180]well, honey, i'm so sorry for you. i'm sorry that you define an entire gender by negative stereotypes when i'm almost completely certain you don't define people of other races or cultures by similar standards. and i'm so very sorry that you hate yourself so much you define your entire gender that way. misogynists are sad, emotionally stunted people. female misogynists are worse.

[Tragically Hip]

Part of the reason we do as women gang up on each other is women are collaborative and supportive. If one nurse gets a bee in her bonnet about another nurse there is a good chance there will be a couple of people there to support her and validate and stand with her to take it next aggressive level.

It just takes one pied piper.

That may be true, but men are plenty collaborative and supportive in gangs, military units, police departments, fire departments, basketball teams, etc.

I agree!

But, my husband works at an aerospace factory with predominantly male employees and they can be just as bad as women. However, they are much more direct and up front about it.

What do you mean by "just as bad"? That men bicker or hold resentments as much as other women do?

From "The Psychological Warfare of Women: Are We Our Own Worst Enemy?"...

Ironically, women who try to be most straightforward and direct, resisting the temptation to covertly manipulate and malign, are the ones who are often called *******. By trying to settle differences directly and put the issues to bed, they find themselves alienated, banished to an emotional Siberia that can last a painfully long time.

Why is that? Well, some psychologists believe that diffusing the issue quickly is not what most women want. Those who participate in RA prefer to create a long-term emotional burn, torturing their target beneath a warm smile and affable words. So when confronted by a more direct woman who doesn’t want to play that game, it threatens their only (perceived) power to manipulate a situation through their relationships.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

Yes, the men gossip and bicker, but they do not back stab. They just say what they think to each others face and they are done with it.

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

Part of the reason we do as women gang up on each other is women are collaborative and supportive. If one nurse gets a bee in her bonnet about another nurse there is a good chance there will be a couple of people there to support her and validate and stand with her to take it next aggressive level.

It just takes one pied piper.

When a bunch of nurses gang up on someone its not supportive, its the classic mean girl, queen bee clique mentality! It starts with a bully and the clique that is too weak to stand up to the bully and prefers to go along with the bully either out of fear or for personal gain, status and power!

[wooh, BSN, RN]

So I can assume that all of the women here that are saying, "women are mean girl backstabbing bullies" will admit that they themselves are mean girl backstabbing bullies?

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

I don't think you can apply a blanket statement like that Wooh. I think you can safely say there are a lot of backstabbing women......

but certainly not all. Some women are great team workers and supportive etc. Just not enough sadly.

[nekozuki, LPN]

Theoretically, morally, ethically, I agree with you.

And yet, in my heart of hearts, I cannot deny that many times, ******* be crazy.

Call me a self-loathing misogynist all you want, but it'll just be the same kind of dramatic overreaction that perpetuates these stereotypes, while male posters twiddles their thumbs, stay under the radar and let the ladies go at it amongst themselves.

[Susie2310]

In a perfect world, women would all get along perfectly. There would be no backstabbing, cattiness, cliques, jealousy... you name it. Sadly, it's not a perfect world. If there is misogyny among women, then don't you think there might be a reason for it? Women aren't perfect creatures. I think that, as women, we know what to expect from other women! Same with men; men know what to expect from other men. I don't hate women just because I know and can predict how women act in social situations.

I think there is a difference between disliking behavior and disliking a person, or even an entire gender. I don't think that disliking certain behaviors classifies me as being misogynistic. I think women are hard pressed not to be misogynists. It's everywhere! I think for misogyny among women to stop, women need to stop the behaviors that give cause for it in the first place.

In your first paragraph you say "If there is misogyny among women, then don't you think there might be a reason for it?" I understand you are saying that if women hate, dislike or mistrust other women (generally), that there may be a justification for it. But in your second paragraph you differentiate between women as a group (first paragraph) and certain behaviors that you dislike, and generalize those behaviors to all women "I think women are hard pressed not to be misogynists. It's everywhere! I think for misogyny among women to stop, women need to stop the behaviors that give cause for it in the first place." Your generalization makes me uncomfortable. Do you really see these negative behaviors in all women? I don't. And I haven't experienced negative behavior from all women in social situations. Is it possible you are projecting negativity of your own onto all women? Perhaps you did not intend to generalize to all women, but that is how I read your post. Surely you have been in social situations with women where you didn't experience these negative behaviors. I have learned that our own attitude towards other people has a lot to do with how they treat us. It is not always the other person. I am responding negatively towards your post because I am feeling that you have a negative attitude to women IN GENERAL; you expect the worst and are prepared for the worst : "I don't hate women just because I know and can predict how women act in social situations." It is hard to form relationships based on trust with people who start out fearing and expecting the worst from us.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

When a bunch of nurses gang up on someone its not supportive, its the classic mean girl, queen bee clique mentality! It starts with a bully and the clique that is too weak to stand up to the bully and prefers to go along with the bully either out of fear or for personal gain, status and power!

This is an example of misogyny right there. You read into my statement whatever was going to support your viewpoint not what I actually said. Often when people are participating in relational aggression they see themselves not as participating in the abuse but in supporting the agressor. MOST people don't get up and go to work and think today I will be an evil cow and help attack my coworkers. No they think they have their coworker friends back.

Most bullies are not aware that they are a bully IMHO. The average person wouldn't continue to participate in such behaviors if they recognize it as being cruel. I do believe that people are inherently good they just don't know how to go about it.

[eleectrosaurus]

In school my male and female classmates noticed this trend immediately. Honestly I was surprised having never worked in that kind of atmosphere before. The ladies in my class were constantly subjected to eye rolls, grimaces, griping and general snark from the floor nurses where my male counterparts and I were treated very cordially.

We had an open discussion with our instructors who completely agreed with what we had observed, and there advice for us to get through school and work was to keep our darn mouths shut.

Now go make me a sandwich!

[LuLu_Lemon]

Amen!!!

How can we as nurses properly care for others with the upmost respect and full beneficence if we don't respect ourselves or pray for the downfall of our own??

Well said!

[tewdles, RN]

I believe that there are bullies in all walks of life. I believe that different people may demonstrate their socially unacceptable behavior in different ways. There are mean girls and there are mean boys, some of them never change their ways and grow up to be mean adults.

I don't hate women. I don't want to generalize women or men. I do want to call a spade a spade when it comes to inappropriate behavior.

[decembergrad2011, BSN, RN]

Dear God, are you for serious or did you just read "The Mockery of Nursing" thread and are joking

=/ I don't understand why people are making fun of me for my experience. It was extremely heartbreaking at the time and entirely true. Again, I have no idea why she did what she did, but that's what I felt in my heart.