Misogyny in Nursing

[Ruby Vee]

[color=#111180]here's a small sample of statements i've read on allnurses.com:

[color=#111180]"the majority of nurses are women and women are catty individuals."

[color=#111180]"unfortunately, i don't think backstabbing is confined to nurses, but rather in the female gender."

[color=#111180]"women can be the most canniving(sp?) things on the face of the earth.

[color=#111180]i think it's just the hormone thing."

[color=#111180]"because women are such catty b*tches!!!!"

[color=#111180]"you are right that nursing is a female dominated field & females are the biggist back stabbers. a instructed told me this."

[color=#111180]

[color=#111180]misogyny is defined as "the hatred, mistrust or dislike of women."

[color=#111180]

[color=#111180]what i never realized until reading "allnurses.com" the past few years is how many women are misogynists.

[color=#111180]the first time i read a header like "why are nurses such backstabbers?" or a post that flatly stated "women are nasty, catty, backstabbers" i fully expected the poster to be jumped upon with both feet by every woman reading the post. when that didn't happen, it surprised, then disappointed, then dismayed me. when so many female posters jumped in to agree with these misogynistic statements, i was shocked and saddened. i am no longer shocked by how many members of this board appear to hate, mistrust or dislike women, but i continue to deplore the pheonomenon. and that so many of these misogynists are women themselves -- that i find even more deplorable. hypocritical and deplorable.

[color=#111180]

[color=#111180]anyone defining an entire gender through a lens of hatred or mistrust is, at best, a bigot. a woman defining her entire gender this way is, unless she attributes these same negative stereotypes to herself, her sisters and her best friend is also a hypocrite.

[color=#111180]

[color=#111180]how many of us these days would publicly refer to a person with black skin as "the 'n' word"? it's just not done. would you refer to your gay male cousin and his long-term partner as "a pair of ****"? probably not in polite company. yet women are called -- even in popular music -- names describing female dogs, names intimating that they earn their livings taking money for sex or names defining them by their genitalia.

[color=#111180]

[color=#111180]if we feel so negatively toward an entire gender, how are we treating our female patients? i find it difficult to believe that someone can make a bald statement about how they hate working with women because they're all catty and backstabbing and then go out and treat their female patients with caring and respect. and if we're working so hard to respect races, cultures and religions other than our own, why are we not working equally hard to respect both genders?

[color=#111180]

[color=#111180]the fact that so many nurses are women would have led me to believe that this is a female-friendly web site. instead, the opposite is true. never have i read the hatred and vitriol against women that i've read here, much of it spouted by other women who then go on to say "i can say that because i am female myself."

[color=#111180]

[color=#111180]well, honey, i'm so sorry for you. i'm sorry that you define an entire gender by negative stereotypes when i'm almost completely certain you don't define people of other races or cultures by similar standards. and i'm so very sorry that you hate yourself so much you define your entire gender that way. misogynists are sad, emotionally stunted people. female misogynists are worse.

[OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN]

nevermind*****

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

you say you have no idea why she would behave that way towards you but then you listed several reasons that might have motivated her. also you said this about her.

meanwhile, she was in a sexless relationship (that she constantly talked about) with a guy who wouldn't commit to her, she had her adn, and she received patient complaints as well as coaching for her attitude during the time i worked with her.

so i think it might not have been 100% her. we've all spent time in both the agressor and victim role at one time or another.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

nevermind*****

oh please mind. or pm me your comment

[decembergrad2011, BSN, RN]

you say you have no idea why she would behave that way towards you but then you listed several reasons that might have motivated her. also you said this about her.

so i think it might not have been 100% her. we've all spent time in both the agressor and victim role at one time or another.[/left]

not sure what you're implying here, but i was completely professional during my time with her. i focused on myself and my course requirements and my goals. she spoke about the things i listed over and over again, either to me or around me, which is why i knew about them. it's not like i was hanging out with the rest of the rns on the floor gossiping about her when she was not present. needless to say, she was not given a student the following semester.

either way, i graduated, passed nclex, and am employed so it doesn't really matter anymore. it was a mistake on my part to overshare my experience on the internet and i regret doing it.

[Stephalump]

Theoretically, morally, ethically, I agree with you.

And yet, in my heart of hearts, I cannot deny that many times, ******* be crazy.

Call me a self-loathing misogynist all you want, but it'll just be the same kind of dramatic overreaction that perpetuates these stereotypes, while male posters twiddles their thumbs, stay under the radar and let the ladies go at it amongst themselves.

Not only is it a shining example of the very things the alleged misogynists are pointing out, but it's just another reason feminism has been polarized and abhorred by your average woman Quit looking for behaviors and proceeding to tell other women what we think and feel! If I've found women to be more catty than men, you are completely overstepping your boundaries to tell ME I hate women and myself. If I'm a stay at home mom, you're completely out of line telling me I'm nothing more than a brainwashed sheep and I don't WANT to be a stay at home mom.

Have a met women who brazenly hate other women? Yes. My cousin's wife will straight up tell you she only hangs around men because women are b•itches. Some women won't say it as bluntly, but they're near constant negative commentary is clear enough.

ONE comment on a message board about someone's experience is not evidence of any sort overall attitude and it's presumptuous to think you can label people so quickly. Especially when taking a moral stand against labeling.

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

This coming from someone who described a young nurse who went to her superior for assistance with another female nurse who was hassling her as a "crybaby".

People never cease to amaze me.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

unfortunately, lateral violence is a problem in many professions not just nursing.

https://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&aq=1&oq=lateral+violence&ie=utf-8&rlz=1t4ggll_enus413us413&q=lateral+violence+in+nursing&gs_upl=0l0l0l10300lllllllllll0&aqi=g4&pbx=1

a nurse rolls her eyes at a co-worker as she picks up the assignment sheet that was created by a younger charge nurse. an icu nurse pretends not to see her co-worker is drowning and ignores her request for help saying she is ‘too busy’. a newly hired rn who was previously a scrub tech finds she is now shunned by both groups. is this just life as a nurse or a nurse’s right of passage? or is it something more insidious?

these behaviors go by several names: lateral or horizontal violence, incivility, nurse-to-nurse bullying, sabotage - “nurses eating their young.” in general, bullying in the united states is a term used to describe uncivil behavior from someone who has power over you – vertical aggression. rude behaviors from peers are referred to as horizontal or lateral hostility and are defined as: “a consistent pattern of behavior designed to control, diminish or devalue a peer (or group) which creates a risk to health or safety” (farrell, 2005). some specific examples are:

• covert. unfair assignments, refusing to help someone, ignoring, making faces behind someone’s back, refusing to only work with certain people – or not work with others, whining, sabotage, exclusion, fabrication
  

estimates of lateral violence in the nursing workplace ranges from 46–100% (stanley et al. 2007). nursing literature abounds with examples of prevalence. in one study, one-third of nurses perceived emotional abuse during their last five shifts worked (roche). in another survey, 30% of respondents (n= 2,100) said disruptive behavior happened weekly, and 25% said monthly (advisory.com). and a study of emergency room nurses found that 27.3% had experienced workplace bullying in the last six months with many staff bullied by their managers, charge nurses or directors as well as physicians and peers (johnson, rea). bullying behaviors are like gangrene – when tolerated from a few physicians or nurses with strong personalities, the behaviors spread and infect the entire team – and eventually, the patient.

lateral violence in nursing: breaking the spell

we are represenatives of this profession need to be sure that we don't perpetuate this behavior by participating oursleves. we need to discusscuss this problem without becomming apart of the problem.

allnurses supports the participation in a lively debate as per the terms of service

this means you are free to disagree with anyone on any type of subject matter as long as your criticism is constructive and polite. additionally, please refrain from name-calling. this is divisive, rude, and derails the thread.

our first priority is to the members that have come here because of the flame-free atmosphere we provide. there is a zero-tolerance policy here against personal attacks. we will not tolerate anyone insulting other's opinion nor name calling.

our call is to be supportive, not divisive. because of this, discrimination, racial vilification and offensive generalizations targeting people of other races, religions and/or nationalities will not be tolerated.

we can agree to disagree and not be disagreeable......gerald ford. please lets talk about solutions to the problem and not become apart of the problem. if we cannot the thread will be closed to cool off.

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

my take on this discussion...

[color=#111180]the first time i read a header like "why are nurses such backstabbers?" or a post that flatly stated "women are nasty, catty, backstabbers" i fully expected the poster to be jumped upon with both feet by every woman reading the post. when that didn't happen, it surprised, then disappointed, then dismayed me. when so many female posters jumped in to agree with these misogynistic statements, i was shocked and saddened. i am no longer shocked by how many members of this board appear to hate, mistrust or dislike women, but i continue to deplore the pheonomenon. and that so many of these misogynists are women themselves -- that i find even more deplorable. hypocritical and deplorable.

calling out cattiness is not misogyny. cattiness is. cattiness and back-stabbing stem from womens' hatred, mistrust and dislike of other women.

when so many women jumped in to agree, it's probably because they can relate - they've experienced cattiness and backstabbing first hand - either as the aggressor or the aggressee - and probably not because there is some conspiracy of character that evades only you and those who share your views to the letter.

also, the only thing that using a racial pejorative like "the 'n' word" and calling women catty share is that they are both blanket statements. the difference between them is that "the 'n' word" is a word that doesn't really describe any specific behavior. in colloquial use, it is mostly akin to calling all women ["female dogs"] in that it is a derogatory term that is affixed to something that cannot be controlled by any individual or group of individuals (like race or gender). catty on the other hand, very specifically describes an observed behavior. behavior can indeed be controlled by individuals and groups of individuals. i'm sorry, but the comparison doesn't stand up. talking about women calling other women back-stabbers is a very different conversation from one that discusses women calling other women ["female dogs"] and that distinction should have been made here...

though, i'm fairly certain the intent behind drawing such a comparison was not to encourage a reasonable discussion, but to bait responders into emotionally charged and possibly irrational responses. this, for me, drains the original post of all integrity.

i do understand that pointing the finger around to those who call you out is a very natural defense mechanism. i'm just not falling for it.

[OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN]

........

[OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN]

Oh PLEASE mind. Or PM me your comment TTP

sent you a pm.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

Not sure what you're implying here.

I'm not implying that you did anything wrong or unprofessional but that despite stating otherwise you do have a good insight into why she was motivated to behave that way. Doesn't mean you actively did anything to deserve that but something you should tuck away in the back of your mind for next time. You did deserve to be treated like that but unfortunately being treated badly once doesn't immunize you against it happening again. My next statement is a general statement and not aimed specifically at you :)

Ignoring someone is not going to make them NOT attack you. People like that in the workplace get off on the act of bullying not necessarily your reaction. The only real solution is to neutralize the behavior before it starts by unmotivating them towards attacking you or have such a strong of a personality that they don't want to mess with you for fear of being the receiving end of a CDiff storm. This is much harder that it sounds.

[midlifemom]

This is pretty relevant:

he gender similarities hypothesis stands in stark contrast to the differences model, which holds that men and women, and boys and girls, are vastly different psychologically. The gender similarities hypothesis states, instead, that males and females are alike on most—but not all—psy- chological variables. Extensive evidence from meta-analy- ses of research on gender differences supports the gender similarities hypothesis. A few notable exceptions are some motor behaviors (e.g., throwing distance) and some aspects of sexuality, which show large gender differences. Aggres- sion shows a gender difference that is moderate in magnitude.

It is time to consider the costs of overinflated claims of gender differences. Arguably, they cause harm in numerous realms, including women’s opportunities in the workplace, couple conflict and communication, and analyses of self- esteem problems among adolescents. Most important, these claims are not consistent with the scientific data.

http://wulv.uni-greifswald.de/2006_mw_forsch_gender/userdata/Hyde_2005.pdf