Met with the BON yesterday

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Specializes in trauma, ER, PACU, CCU/ICU, Management.

hi guys,

wanted to let you know i met with the bon yesterday. i sat in the waiting area what seemed like forever...mind you it was only 20 min. i was hot felt like i was going to throw-up! but i have to say the ladies i spoke with were incredibly nice to me. i was questioned and asked about my nursing history and how i got to the point of diverting narcotics. i cried for 2 1/2 hours during my meeting. they asked me to sign up for the kare program and i did. and then was told that i need to work on self forgiveness. with that more tears fell :bluecry1:. that is going to be the biggest challenge of all. i will work on it, one day at a time. i signed for 5 years, 3 na/aa meetings a week. 1 year of narcotic restriction and 3 years of not working in a management position. i feel mentally drained today and over-whelmed by all i am going to do. and then was told that it might be a challenge to find a job....which i had already figured was going to come. i will be honest i am scared of trying to find a job and the rejection that may come, if i don't go to work soon we will never get out of debt. sorry to carry on....just wanted to tell you my version of this journey we are all on.:saint:

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Specializes in Telemetry/Med Surg.

(((Hugs))) Best wishes to you.

You're right..one day at a time. Please feel free to come on to vent or any support you may need...or maybe just a hug.

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Specializes in Medical and general practice now LTC.

Thanks for the update, yes it may be hard but just take one day at a time and take things slowly.

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{{{power99}}}

A day at a time.

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Specializes in Advanced Practice, surgery.

Thank you for sharing your story, it sounds very traumatic but I am glad that the ladies who dealt with you were sympathetic. I am sending lots of good thoughts over to you.

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.

power - Hello. Reading your post, I could think back to 10 years ago when I was in your shoes. I vividly picture when I went to the meeting the look of disdain she had on her face. Just a look of total disappointment. That didn't help AT ALL because I had already been beating myself up over and over...

It didn't help any that the woman counseling me after getting busted was my younger brother's mother=in-law. (They were separated then and divorced later, but still. Made me feel even worse.

Try to keep in mind that you are making positive efforts for you and your recovery. Please keep in mind that you are human just like everyone else in your shoes and you. You will make progress little by little.

Anne, RNC

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Specializes in ICU.

Take it one day at a time. And when you're ready to find a job, let us know, there are many here that have been in your shoes and we can give some 'been there, done that' advice. You can do it! Look at the big step you already went through!

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Specializes in LTC, MDS, Education.

Hi Power! Give yourself a couple of days to recover from the BON. You were lucky that they treated you decently. As the other posters have said, take one day at a time. And take care of yourself!!!! Things will work out. Just think, in a few months from now YOU will be giving encouragement to a new poster. Keep coming to this forum for love and support. :flwrhrts:

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wishing you the best

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

It's a tough road and one we've all walked. But the road of addiction, misery and death is worse. You're on the right path...keep on keeping on one day at a time.

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Specializes in trauma, ER, PACU, CCU/ICU, Management.

morning all,

just checked in for my first uds screening. you were right it took me a least 2 days to recover from the bon meeting. thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here and so supportive. after all the counseling, i feel more like myself in 2 years than i have been. i just worry about all the finances and how we are going to pay for everything including the random tests that are going to occur. my husband does have a job, but until i go back to work things are really tight. but, what do you do ....just say a prayer and go on..right?! anyway sorry about the rambling...just wanted to share my first day of checking in. hugs!:typing

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Hey Power:

Thanks for sharing. I'll have my own harrowing tale in a week or two. You already had a random UDS or it was your first day to call and check? I'm curious because I was wondering how long it takes to get your account information, etc established with the testing service. The reason I wonder is that I'm anxious to get started with the UDS monitoring ASAP after meeting with the BON because some days that may be the only sobriety tool I have (or the only one I'm willing to avail myself of if I'm having a bad day).

Hopefully that makes sense. Basically: while I'm new in recovery and the most vulnerable to relapse, I'll be glad to have some method of accountability "forced" on me.

Regardless, thanks so much for sharing and best of luck!! :redbeathe

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