Met with the BON yesterday

Nurses Recovery


  • by power99
    Specializes in trauma, ER, PACU, CCU/ICU, Management.

You are reading page 2 of Met with the BON yesterday


8 Posts

Specializes in Cardiac.

You will be in my prayers..


111 Posts

Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Dr. Office, Psych.
hi guys,

wanted to let you know i met with the bon yesterday. i sat in the waiting area what seemed like forever...mind you it was only 20 min. i was hot felt like i was going to throw-up! but i have to say the ladies i spoke with were incredibly nice to me. i was questioned and asked about my nursing history and how i got to the point of diverting narcotics. i cried for 2 1/2 hours during my meeting. they asked me to sign up for the kare program and i did. and then was told that i need to work on self forgiveness. with that more tears fell :bluecry1:. that is going to be the biggest challenge of all. i will work on it, one day at a time. i signed for 5 years, 3 na/aa meetings a week. 1 year of narcotic restriction and 3 years of not working in a management position. i feel mentally drained today and over-whelmed by all i am going to do. and then was told that it might be a challenge to find a job....which i had already figured was going to come. i will be honest i am scared of trying to find a job and the rejection that may come, if i don't go to work soon we will never get out of debt. sorry to carry on....just wanted to tell you my version of this journey we are all on.:saint:

:yeah: applaud yourself for having the courage to commit to 5 yrs; approach each day as a new! 1st step is understanding that, we are human , we all make mistakes, some bigger than others, you will have to disclose your diverson, but if you are upfront & honest with an employer, they can place you to work where you wont have the narcotic distribution? maybe?

i think that is the biggest fear among nurses is being told that we have limits & that we can't do something.

take it day by day, learn from mistakes & you will be a better person in the end.

chin up! things will get better with time! :yeah:


24 Posts

Specializes in trauma, ER, PACU, CCU/ICU, Management.

insomniac............ after i registered it told me what day to start either calling or checking labcorp website to see if i was selected for collection that day. one day at a time my day at a time! hugs!

Specializes in LTC, Psych, Med/Surg.

Dear power99-

There are many who have been in your shoes, you are not a bad person, no matter what your inner critic may be telling you.

The toughest part for me was self forgiveness. That is the bedrock of my recovery. If there are ignorant people out there who reject me because I have done wrong in my past, that is their problem. I don't need to make it mine.

I went to therapy to help me deal with the shame that I thought would kill me. I had no money, but was fortunate enough to find a program that accepted sliding scale fees based on how much money I had (or didn't have, as the case was when I was first disciplined by my BON).

You may want to consider the same for yourself as you look for work. Having someone in your corner (maybe a sponsor?)really helps with getting over the shame & self hatred that so many addicts have.

Catmom :paw:

Specializes in ICU.

I agree, we must have self forgiveness. There are still times when I think about something I did and I cringe! I am working on that! When will that go away?


659 Posts

I don't get the part about no management positions. That was my salvation. In a management position, I didn't have to work the floor or worry about giving narcotics.

I only have to do randoms every three months. I guess I'm lucky I live in Missouri. There rules are pretty laxed. (In no way did I get off easy, but I know Missouri is not as strict as some states)

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