Manners......I am hard pressed to see anyone use good manners in schools anymore. Heck, for that matter, almost anywhere.
Students pop in the clinic and shout "bandaids". I say, yes, would you like some bandaids for your classroom ? They say yeah...... No please......?? I give them a handful and they walk out of the clinic without any THANK YOU. I have to say..."what do we say" and they look at me like I have three eyes ????
WHISKEY, TANGO, FOXTROT !!
It's not just the students. I have teachers that won't say please or thank you either.
I want to very sarcastically say: "YOUR WELCOME" when they leave here without so much as a thank you.
I mean, who is teaching kids manners these days ? Certainly not parents, and apparently teachers either !
Some of them actually get it. And the ones who don't, well, nothing I do is actually going to change it.
I do this too. I have since I was a server and people would say "Gimme" or just order and throw menus at me. I'd always smile, nod, and say "you're welcome." I've never been reprimanded for it because that's just how I've always been.
When someone says (particularly a co-worker, to me or to a Dr. or ARNP) "Do this for me!" I always call them out and say "Can you do this for me PLEASE?" I'm pretty sure it drives people nuts but that's how I was raised. I think my mom and dad would be proud if they knew that's how I interacted.
I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm known to sometimes throw things on my Dr's desk or make demands when we're busy but 90% of the time I'm polite. Usually I'm "demanding" when we're busy and my request has been repeated and unanswered.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
that irks me too. I Can't stand the one word demands and lately i've been getting more kids that will just walk out of my office as i'm talking to them. That one astounds me. I really can't imagine that they just walk away from their parents mid sentence as they are talking to them.
I haven't noticed an over abundance of manners among the young adult population, either. Those folks who are of an age to be teaching manners to children seem to have replaced the term "you're welcome" with "no prob." (Shudder). If the parents don't have manners, who is teaching the children?
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
This shocks me. As a "kid" I would never DREAM of being even remotely rude to anyone, especially when I'm brand new to such a vast and respected profession. Blows my mind. Glad I haven't run into any fellow students like that at my school yet.
As a kid, I would have been slapped or spanked for being rude to someone. If my parents weren't around, any adult relative or neighbor would have stepped in. But now we cannot touch the children for fear of "breaking their spirit." A little spirit breaking would be a good thing in some cases -- the kid at the laundromat last week, for example. He wanted to play the (noisy) video game and wasn't tall enough, so he grabbed the nearest chair (with my jacket on it) and pulled it over and stood on it. I turned around from putting my clean clothes into the dryer and saw him putting muddy little footprints on my jacket . . . While his mother played with her cell phone.
I haven't noticed an over abundance of manners among the young adult population, either. Those folks who are of an age to be teaching manners to children seem to have replaced the term "you're welcome" with "no prob." (Shudder). If the parents don't have manners, who is teaching the children?
I have actually read about this. The younger generation will say 'no problem' instead of 'you're welcome' because it isn't a problem nor do they mind doing whatever is asked. I certainly say 'no problem' instead of 'you're welcome' because it just seems more natural. I do always say please and thank you.
I have actually read about this. The younger generation will say 'no problem' instead of 'you're welcome' because it isn't a problem nor do they mind doing whatever is asked. I certainly say 'no problem' instead of 'you're welcome' because it just seems more natural. I do always say please and thank you.
I agree, really no difference in you are welcome than no problem. I have replaced you're welcome with no worries. I Like it, it fits my personality, and I don't want the person to worry about repaying me. I find those responses more heart felt than you're welcome, but to each their own, that's what makes this ride so fun. The fact that they acknowledge is enough for me. Oh, and I am old enough to have been slapped (as I was) by any available adult, pre PC life.
As a kid, I would have been slapped or spanked for being rude to someone. If my parents weren't around, any adult relative or neighbor would have stepped in. But now we cannot touch the children for fear of "breaking their spirit." A little spirit breaking would be a good thing in some cases -- the kid at the laundromat last week, for example. He wanted to play the (noisy) video game and wasn't tall enough, so he grabbed the nearest chair (with my jacket on it) and pulled it over and stood on it. I turned around from putting my clean clothes into the dryer and saw him putting muddy little footprints on my jacket . . . While his mother played with her cell phone.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I have actually read about this. The younger generation will say 'no problem' instead of 'you're welcome' because it isn't a problem nor do they mind doing whatever is asked. I certainly say 'no problem' instead of 'you're welcome' because it just seems more natural. I do always say please and thank you.
Many of my generation hear "no problem" as ungracious. It sounds as if, when asked to do your job, you think it actually IS a problem. I imagine tone has a bearing on this, but when DH and I went to a swanky restaurant for our anniversary last week and the server kept saying "no problem," it just set our teeth on edge. That 20% tip began to evaporate when that happened.
I've worked in customer service and with the public my entire working life. This is not a new thing. Some people have manners, some do not-- even if the rest of their family is polite.
Manners......I am hard pressed to see anyone use good manners in schools anymore. Heck, for that matter, almost anywhere.
Students pop in the clinic and shout "bandaids". I say, yes, would you like some bandaids for your classroom ? They say yeah...... No please......?? I give them a handful and they walk out of the clinic without any THANK YOU. I have to say..."what do we say" and they look at me like I have three eyes ????
WHISKEY, TANGO, FOXTROT !!
It's not just the students. I have teachers that won't say please or thank you either.
I want to very sarcastically say: "YOUR WELCOME" when they leave here without so much as a thank you.
I mean, who is teaching kids manners these days ? Certainly not parents, and apparently teachers either !
The times sure have changed my friends.
They're non-existent and not being taught like they used to be. There were always rude people, but for the most part, those lessons on how to be a basic human started at home and parents were MORTIFIED if their child behaved poorly. To this day I can't call my school teachers by their first names even though they've said it's fine! lol
Sometimes you can influence people by behaving like a decent person in front of them, but even the baby boomer generation is slacking in this area and their kids are the ones "raising" today's little imbeciles. Sometimes kids are jerks for the sake of being jerks (and heck, that's their job to an extent), but then the good parents are there to get them in line or punish them when they act out.
Now, if you said something to a parent, you get "Well my little boy wouldn't have acted like that without being provoked. What did YOU do?", not the apologies that my parents would've given.
It's easy to blame the kids, but it's the parents who teach them to behave like that and why I don't think I could ever work at a school. It's bad enough dealing with adults like that, but kids? You don't ever seem to get anywhere because of their home lives.
One of my students (9th grade) ran in the clinic shouting, "I need a bandaid!" I came back with, "What else do you say?". He thought a second and said, "I need a bandaid NOW!"
Several years ago, we were on vacation in Florida, and were in a mall. A group of tweenage boys ran past us, and one bumped into me (very slightly, no harm done). He skidded to a stop, turned to me, said "Sorry, ma'am" and ran to catch up with his friends.
This thread just reinforces that I'm trying to do the right thing with my 2 year old. She'll often demand "pouch" or "book" or "cheese stick," and my husband and I are pretty good about responding with, "How do we ask?" which will get us a please both verbally and signed (the signing is so cute!).
I don't really understand why, if that concept is easy for a 2 year old, that it's hard for teenagers and adults.
DowntheRiver
983 Posts
I do this too. I have since I was a server and people would say "Gimme" or just order and throw menus at me. I'd always smile, nod, and say "you're welcome." I've never been reprimanded for it because that's just how I've always been.
When someone says (particularly a co-worker, to me or to a Dr. or ARNP) "Do this for me!" I always call them out and say "Can you do this for me PLEASE?" I'm pretty sure it drives people nuts but that's how I was raised. I think my mom and dad would be proud if they knew that's how I interacted.
I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm known to sometimes throw things on my Dr's desk or make demands when we're busy but 90% of the time I'm polite. Usually I'm "demanding" when we're busy and my request has been repeated and unanswered.