Manager said something covertly racist

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I was at a leadership conference recently with my manager and several other supervisors (1 manager, 4 supervisors total). During the conference, we were asked to simulate how we would communicate with a housekeeper that went above and beyond by doing something outside of their normal job duties to help a patient.

One of my fellow supervisors says, "I'll be the housekeeper."

My manager says, "I wanna be the housekeeper!"

I say, "----- said it first, she can be the housekeeper."

My manager says to my fellow supervisor, "------, you're name is NOT Juanita Lopez" ****I have changed this name*****

To the best of my knowledge, Juanita Lopez is not a real person who works at my organization, but has a very common sounding Hispanic name. I believe she was insinuating that housekeepers are generally Hispanic. The rest of us supervisors were kind of shocked and looked at each other for a minute, felt uncomfortable, and then went on with the exercise.

What makes it even worse, is that one of my peers IS Hispanic. She is also my friend.

I feel this should be reported to HR, however here is my hesitation: In the past I have gone round and round with HR reporting bullying and inappropriate behaviors, along with MANY fellow employees including other supervisors, doctors and staff. My manager has a long history of bullying and incivility and retaliation, and there is a long history of HR not doing anything about it. It's a "Good ole' boys network." Everyone who feels her wrath just eventually winds up leaving the organization.

Out of the the 3 other supervisors:

My Hispanic friend does not want to make a big deal out of it, and absolutely hates confrontation, and actively avoids it. She does not want to say anything, nor be dragged into anything. She said she is used to these sorts of incidences and just lets it roll off her back.

The other two kind of just do their own thing, and have had the chance to stand up in the past, and/or support others who have been bullied, but they just don't.

I don't know if I have the energy to deal with this again, out of need for self-preservation, and also knowing that I will not have any back up, and knowing HR likely won't do anything. My plan is to find something else by the end of the year.

Here are my options:

*Confront my manager - she does not do well with confrontation, becoming extremely defensive and wrathful

*Report to HR openly - this did not go well for my last fellow supervisor who reported bullying, and she went through months of stress and heartache, and finally resigned.

*Report to HR anonymously - this did not go well for myself and about a dozen other people I know over the years, and I don't believe my anonymity was actually protected.

*Send an anonymous letter.

*Go to the news.

*Do nothing.

Regardless of what I pursue, if any investigation is opened, my friend will be dragged into it. None of my options feel good or right.

Has anything dealt with anything similar?

Like you, reading and leaving only trolling comments that add nothing of value to the discourse? Oh, the irony!

Tsk tsk. Discourse?! Where are my pearls?

I appreciate the replies here:

To clarify a few things.

*I said 'going to the media' somewhat in jest. My post did not convey that, and I realize it. I supposed I mentioned it though because my manager has a long history with being reported to HR for various offenses and nothing has ever been done about, and this is just one more example of her incivility. Yes, it would be absolute career suicide for me.

*I personally DO NOT have a long history reporting people to HR as someone convoluted what I said. In my 10 years, I have only dealt with HR in regard to my manager, when I was asked to come forward during an investigation (about her).

*I agree with those who said to approach her in the moment. That is the healthiest and most grown-up and professional option. I guess I felt if that was a viable option I would. I generally am ok with directly approaching people with concerns. She, however does not like to disagreed with in any sort. Last time a fellow supervisor approached her about her behavior, it ended very badly for the supervisor. I am honestly afraid to approach her, because I feel my life will likely become miserable due to getting the cold shoulder from her. It's her MO. She ices people on out.

*Maybe the comment wasn't 'racist', but as the above poster mentioned, it is in fact stereotyping, and it's unprofessional and not befitting of professionals, let alone of upper management. At a conference. A leadership conference.

*And yes, if HR has never done something prior, they won't now.

*It's clear to me that I need to think about an exit strategy. I've almost exited a few times, and stopped the process for various reasons, but I need to make it a priority for this year.

*One more thing, though my Hispanic friend and fellow supervisor was bothered, and is choosing to let it go, it did upset her. Again, if she wanted to pursue it, I would back her, but I just don't have the energy on my own.

Thanks for all of the input.

Just bumping this post, because it feels like it got missed or passed over.

Specializes in Med/Surg/Infection Control/Geriatrics.
I was at a leadership conference recently with my manager and several other supervisors (1 manager, 4 supervisors total). During the conference, we were asked to simulate how we would communicate with a housekeeper that went above and beyond by doing something outside of their normal job duties to help a patient.

One of my fellow supervisors says, "I'll be the housekeeper."

My manager says, "I wanna be the housekeeper!"

I say, "----- said it first, she can be the housekeeper."

My manager says to my fellow supervisor, "------, you're name is NOT Juanita Lopez" ****I have changed this name*****

To the best of my knowledge, Juanita Lopez is not a real person who works at my organization, but has a very common sounding Hispanic name. I believe she was insinuating that housekeepers are generally Hispanic. The rest of us supervisors were kind of shocked and looked at each other for a minute, felt uncomfortable, and then went on with the exercise.

What makes it even worse, is that one of my peers IS Hispanic. She is also my friend.

I feel this should be reported to HR, however here is my hesitation: In the past I have gone round and round with HR reporting bullying and inappropriate behaviors, along with MANY fellow employees including other supervisors, doctors and staff. My manager has a long history of bullying and incivility and retaliation, and there is a long history of HR not doing anything about it. It's a "Good ole' boys network." Everyone who feels her wrath just eventually winds up leaving the organization.

Out of the the 3 other supervisors:

My Hispanic friend does not want to make a big deal out of it, and absolutely hates confrontation, and actively avoids it. She does not want to say anything, nor be dragged into anything. She said she is used to these sorts of incidences and just lets it roll off her back.

The other two kind of just do their own thing, and have had the chance to stand up in the past, and/or support others who have been bullied, but they just don't.

I don't know if I have the energy to deal with this again, out of need for self-preservation, and also knowing that I will not have any back up, and knowing HR likely won't do anything. My plan is to find something else by the end of the year.

Here are my options:

*Confront my manager - she does not do well with confrontation, becoming extremely defensive and wrathful

*Report to HR openly - this did not go well for my last fellow supervisor who reported bullying, and she went through months of stress and heartache, and finally resigned.

*Report to HR anonymously - this did not go well for myself and about a dozen other people I know over the years, and I don't believe my anonymity was actually protected.

*Send an anonymous letter.

*Go to the news.

*Do nothing.

Regardless of what I pursue, if any investigation is opened, my friend will be dragged into it. None of my options feel good or right.

Has anything dealt with anything similar?

I think you need to learn to "pick" your battles.

Sour Lemon,

I would just like to comment that in my few interactions with you, I have noted that you leave the sourest of sour lemon-type posts. So good job at living up to your display name!

Glad you can speak up for yourself, it's a skill. A lot of peeps, like my Hispanic peer, struggle with it. She hates and dreads any sort of confrontation.

This really sort of chaps my behind. You asked for advice, and Sour Lemon gave it - from a highly relevant perspective and you sort of crapped all over it. Just really unnecessary.

Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.
I appreciate the replies here:

To clarify a few things.

*I said 'going to the media' somewhat in jest. My post did not convey that, and I realize it. I supposed I mentioned it though because my manager has a long history with being reported to HR for various offenses and nothing has ever been done about, and this is just one more example of her incivility. Yes, it would be absolute career suicide for me.

*I personally DO NOT have a long history reporting people to HR as someone convoluted what I said. In my 10 years, I have only dealt with HR in regard to my manager, when I was asked to come forward during an investigation (about her).

*I agree with those who said to approach her in the moment. That is the healthiest and most grown-up and professional option. I guess I felt if that was a viable option I would. I generally am ok with directly approaching people with concerns. She, however does not like to disagreed with in any sort. Last time a fellow supervisor approached her about her behavior, it ended very badly for the supervisor. I am honestly afraid to approach her, because I feel my life will likely become miserable due to getting the cold shoulder from her. It's her MO. She ices people on out.

*Maybe the comment wasn't 'racist', but as the above poster mentioned, it is in fact stereotyping, and it's unprofessional and not befitting of professionals, let alone of upper management. At a conference. A leadership conference.

*And yes, if HR has never done something prior, they won't now.

*It's clear to me that I need to think about an exit strategy. I've almost exited a few times, and stopped the process for various reasons, but I need to make it a priority for this year. *One more thing, though my Hispanic friend and fellow supervisor was bothered, and is choosing to let it go, it did upset her. Again, if she wanted to pursue it, I would back her, but I just don't have the energy on my own.

Thanks for all of the input.

I'm sorry that your manager acts the way she does. From what you

write, doing anything about it other than trying to find another job...

would be utterly pointless. That's why I bolded the part about you

finding an "exit strategy". That's the only thing you can do.

I'm sorry your Hispanic friend was upset, she had a right to

be I suppose. Again, if she's having to deal with this manager

and this manager is making her life miserable... she's been

to HR... not much else she can do but get going somewhere else.

Sometimes things are what they are. Sometimes we have

horrible people at work who make our lives miserable, and

the only thing we can do is get gone. It just is what it is.

We report them, nothing gets done... unfortunate. Next

thing to do is use our energy to find a new job.

I'd probably save my energy on this one. If your manager has a history of this kind of stuff wait till she says something more clearly inapproriate before you bring it to HR.

Reporting your supervisor is a big deal so it should be over something serious and something your worth having to sit down with her & HR over.

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

I just don't understand the offense. We have 20+ housekeepers where I work and every single one of them is Hispanic. They all are very nice people who work hard and are respected and well liked. There is nothing negative about being Hispanic or having a Hispanic name or being a housekeeper or being a Hispanic housekeeper. And where I work it would make sense to use a Hispanic name for the scenario.

Maybe she did or didn't mean it in a negative way or as stereotyping, but in the grand scheme of things this is just such small potatoes if any potatoes at all.

I wouldn't do a single thing about it.

If the supervisor who is Hispanic was offended I would support her if she wanted to let that person know why, but really, we all get stereotyped every day in different ways and this just isn't a blip in the radar in my opinion.

This really sort of chaps my behind. You asked for advice, and Sour Lemon gave it - from a highly relevant perspective and you sort of crapped all over it. Just really unnecessary.

I agree. Rather than addressing Sour Lemon's comments specifically (which were, as you pointed out, solicited by the OP), the OP chose to make a personal insult.

Badly done, OP.

Why are you afraid of her? Of being iced out?

Find your fierceness.

Out of curiosity, what are the demographics of your housekeeping staff? I do a lot of media lets say and it is very common to not stereotype but to rationally and accurately depict the demographics of a community or institution.

It would be bizarre to show a hospital of black nurses in Japan for example, or a group of 90% male nurses when the opposite is typically true for most units.

I have no idea where you are from or the demographics of your facility but just because someone points out an ethnicity, sex, or nation of origin it is not automatically pejorative.

I have no idea where you are from or the demographics of your facility but just because someone points out an ethnicity, sex, or nation of origin it is not automatically pejorative.

Right but she was being an a$$.

My manager says to my fellow supervisor, "------, you're name is NOT Juanita Lopez"

I assume the manager's name isn't "Juanita Lopez" either; her "funny" retort made no sense...she just wanted to say it cause she's one of those...

I assume the manager's name isn't "Juanita Lopez" either; her "funny" retort made no sense...she just wanted to say it cause she's one of those...

That was my take as well. I think she was being smug and insensitive. Probably no changing her, though she can change her behavior if the right pressure is brought to bear, which in that environment doesn't sound like is going to happen.

On the other hand, there still needs to be perspective as to the seriousness of the offense. Some of the OP's solutions sound way out of proportion to the act. JMO.

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