Manager said something covertly racist

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I was at a leadership conference recently with my manager and several other supervisors (1 manager, 4 supervisors total). During the conference, we were asked to simulate how we would communicate with a housekeeper that went above and beyond by doing something outside of their normal job duties to help a patient.

One of my fellow supervisors says, "I'll be the housekeeper."

My manager says, "I wanna be the housekeeper!"

I say, "----- said it first, she can be the housekeeper."

My manager says to my fellow supervisor, "------, you're name is NOT Juanita Lopez" ****I have changed this name*****

To the best of my knowledge, Juanita Lopez is not a real person who works at my organization, but has a very common sounding Hispanic name. I believe she was insinuating that housekeepers are generally Hispanic. The rest of us supervisors were kind of shocked and looked at each other for a minute, felt uncomfortable, and then went on with the exercise.

What makes it even worse, is that one of my peers IS Hispanic. She is also my friend.

I feel this should be reported to HR, however here is my hesitation: In the past I have gone round and round with HR reporting bullying and inappropriate behaviors, along with MANY fellow employees including other supervisors, doctors and staff. My manager has a long history of bullying and incivility and retaliation, and there is a long history of HR not doing anything about it. It's a "Good ole' boys network." Everyone who feels her wrath just eventually winds up leaving the organization.

Out of the the 3 other supervisors:

My Hispanic friend does not want to make a big deal out of it, and absolutely hates confrontation, and actively avoids it. She does not want to say anything, nor be dragged into anything. She said she is used to these sorts of incidences and just lets it roll off her back.

The other two kind of just do their own thing, and have had the chance to stand up in the past, and/or support others who have been bullied, but they just don't.

I don't know if I have the energy to deal with this again, out of need for self-preservation, and also knowing that I will not have any back up, and knowing HR likely won't do anything. My plan is to find something else by the end of the year.

Here are my options:

*Confront my manager - she does not do well with confrontation, becoming extremely defensive and wrathful

*Report to HR openly - this did not go well for my last fellow supervisor who reported bullying, and she went through months of stress and heartache, and finally resigned.

*Report to HR anonymously - this did not go well for myself and about a dozen other people I know over the years, and I don't believe my anonymity was actually protected.

*Send an anonymous letter.

*Go to the news.

*Do nothing.

Regardless of what I pursue, if any investigation is opened, my friend will be dragged into it. None of my options feel good or right.

Has anything dealt with anything similar?

I don't understand why you feel the need to fight your friend's battles. It doesn't appear she asked you to do that. As a rule, I'd let the one insulted/attacked decide on the course of action and whether or not they want you involved.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I appreciate the replies here:

To clarify a few things.

*I said 'going to the media' somewhat in jest. My post did not convey that, and I realize it. I supposed I mentioned it though because my manager has a long history with being reported to HR for various offenses and nothing has ever been done about, and this is just one more example of her incivility. Yes, it would be absolute career suicide for me.

*I personally DO NOT have a long history reporting people to HR as someone convoluted what I said. In my 10 years, I have only dealt with HR in regard to my manager, when I was asked to come forward during an investigation (about her).

*I agree with those who said to approach her in the moment. That is the healthiest and most grown-up and professional option. I guess I felt if that was a viable option I would. I generally am ok with directly approaching people with concerns. She, however does not like to disagreed with in any sort. Last time a fellow supervisor approached her about her behavior, it ended very badly for the supervisor. I am honestly afraid to approach her, because I feel my life will likely become miserable due to getting the cold shoulder from her. It's her MO. She ices people on out.

*Maybe the comment wasn't 'racist', but as the above poster mentioned, it is in fact stereotyping, and it's unprofessional and not befitting of professionals, let alone of upper management. At a conference. A leadership conference.

*And yes, if HR has never done something prior, they won't now.

*It's clear to me that I need to think about an exit strategy. I've almost exited a few times, and stopped the process for various reasons, but I need to make it a priority for this year.

*One more thing, though my Hispanic friend and fellow supervisor was bothered, and is choosing to let it go, it did upset her. Again, if she wanted to pursue it, I would back her, but I just don't have the energy on my own.

Thanks for all of the input.

I'm glad you were only joking about going to the media, but these days it isn't particularly funny. Probably about as funny as making up a Spanish name for a role playing exercise is to you.

HR is not your friend; they're there to protect the company, not to protect you or your friend. The incident in question isn't overtly racist -- in fact, I (proud possessor of a Spanish surname) had to scratch my head over finding the insult. Going to HR over such trivial matters -- or even considering it for more than a nanosecond -- doesn't speak well of you. But if you truly wish to go to HR with accusations of racisim, document some instances of overt racism and go to HR with that.

If your manager had a particular housekeeper in mind for the role playing exercise, it doesn't seem outrageous that she'd choose a name for the role of the same ethnicity as the housekeeper she was thinking of. We all know housekeepers that frequently go above and beyond and some who are more often found hiding in the linen closet when there's work to be done. In one ICU where I worked, about half of the Respiratory Therapy department were members of the same extended family. When role-playing for code situations with new employees, the respiratory therapist in the scenerio was always "Popov" or "Petrov". Racist?

If you go after your manager over this "racist" incident, you are more or less throwing your friend under the bus. Unless, of course, you choose not to do in anonymously. But it doesn't seem as if you're considering standing up.

"Approach her in the moment" seems to be the best advice you were given. I hope you choose to either follow it or let it go.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Sour Lemon,

I would just like to comment that in my few interactions with you, I have noted that you leave the sourest of sour lemon-type posts. So good job at living up to your display name!

Glad you can speak up for yourself, it's a skill. A lot of peeps, like my Hispanic peer, struggle with it. She hates and dreads any sort of confrontation.

Ouch! That was caustic. Perhaps you're not living up to your screen name.

Right but she was being an a$$.

I assume the manager's name isn't "Juanita Lopez" either; her "funny" retort made no sense...she just wanted to say it cause she's one of those...

The manager was being an ass? Hard to tell given the description from the OP. As we all know, things taken out of context can be dangerous. I could be missing something but I have not read anything overtly offensive yet.

Specializes in Case Manager/Administrator.

Ok what you wrote smacks of insensitivity but do you really know her true intentions? I am trying to figure out why you want this reported, what are your true intentions?

I am a German Jew who happens to speak German. People all the time ask me if I know any good German restaurants, any good German beer and do not get me started on being Jewish. My friends are always asking for my input about money matters, and potato pancakes at our potlucks...is this racists? Maybe your manager was thinking of her favorite housekeeper? Maybe your manager was remembering the housekeeper who made a difference in her life?

I grew up in Canada in the Yukon...I have been known to dance like some natives and people laugh at me (think Elaine on Seinfeld) heck I laugh at me too. I have overheard my friends talk about music and then start to remember me and my silly dance...they start that silly dance holding their hand to their mouth sounding out a wa...wa....wa...I have never thought it was racist I have always thought it was because they are thinking enough about me, and love me as a friend. If you witnessed this you would assume they are being racist, but I know their true intentions and it is far from what your mind is thinking.

Todays interactions are filled with different cultures and we are suppose to honor each one I get this but I am going to communicate at times that may sound insensitive. I am going to offend some one I just know it, I am very honest and tell it like it is. Does this make me horrible...no it makes me human and I would appreciate if you were not in such a gosh darn hurry to slap me down because I am human, all because I am not as sensitive as you would want.

People are offended on a daily basis, this should not be a crime or you should not lose you job unless of course it can be proven you are intentionally causing discrimination.

I would just let your manager know what she said was interpreted as a racists remark and made you feel uncomfortable, at least I know where your mind is and will try very hard to not offend you when I do communicate with you. Life is not so right and wrong there are many more gray areas. This is being a sensible, caring about others, human being.

Just a funny little add-on, fuel to the fire.

Making the assumption that "Juanita Lopez" is Hispanic is in of itself stereotyping. Are all Juanitas now Hispanic? Must you be Hispanic to have the name Lopez? Lopez is a very common Portuguese surname...

For shame.

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
The issue isn't that you were made to feel uncomfortable; the issue is what is right and what is wrong.

I used to feel the way you do. But I have learned that "being right" isn't always the most important thing. Sometimes, it is better to be "effective" than "right." The best approach is the one that has the best chance of opening a conversation that may improve the sensitivity of the manager in the scenario.

If she responds in almost any manner to the OP's discomfort, it provides an opening for the OP to say something more along the lines that most people interpret such remarks as insensitive and even at times, racist. While she may not mean them in a racist manner, that is how such remarks are usually interpreted. That gives the manager an opportunity to absorb that opinion of her remarks without feeling as strong a need to defend herself -- and it might lead to a little self-reflection that won't happen if she is focused on defending herself from the OP's accusation of racism.

Yes, the comment was wrong. But the manager is most likely to learn not to say such things if she comes to realize their wrongness herself. Leading her to that realization through non-threatening conversation is usually more effective than creating distance and conflict by attacking her.

Specializes in NICU.

I am sorry but did you forget to take some medication today?I have seen this none sense involving every specter.If the Latino nurse is not making a big deal out of it why are you.Did she ask,beg you to intervene?While it is true that in some areas of the country many aides or housekeepers are latino[i have worked with some wonderful hard working ones] so what. No one behaved unprofessionally,maybe ignorant ,but you are thinking of going to media,or anonymous letters, come on.If I saw the latino housekeeper doing all the work while the others sit around doing nothing and her supervisor is well aware, then there would be wrath.

Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

Well let's see: at my new job, a social worker said the f-word to some CNA's *in a patient's room* yesterday (yes, they reported her), and today, a patient asked me to do something instead of the night nurse who had just come on, and I suspect it was because of the night nurse's race.

As Charlie Brown used to say when Lucy pulled the football away at the last moment, 'AUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!'.

Why do others suggest you need to say you feel uncomfortable because you have a Hispanic friend???? How about you're a decent person and you don't find her "off color" jerkface comments amusing?

Now, I wouldn't tell her that, but I would nip it in the bud as soon as comments are made. Stay in the question lane. "Who is Juanita Lopez? Do we know her? What did you mean when you said Juanita Lopez? Did you mean that sweet young woman ,***Becky Anderson***? OHhhhhhh! you were attempting a joke." If she retaliates, everyone is going to know why.

I would also write up the incident, date, time, location, people involved and the things that were said and the responses to the words said. Email it to yourself.

Stay where you are. Psychopaths who are dedicated to practicing racism are everywhere. I pray to black Jesus every day because they are everywhere and 10x worst than germs. Some ppl just want to get on with their day without these psychopaths ruining it, but we are glad when it's not so bad as losing work or having to move or some other catastrophic event they cause, that is whey your Hispanic firend didn't want to fool with it.

The manager was being an ass? Hard to tell given the description from the OP. As we all know, things taken out of context can be dangerous. I could be missing something but I have not read anything overtly offensive yet.
Hmmm. Interesting. Are you saying the OP is not telling the truth of what she witnessed and heard? Given that the OP correctly stated what she witnessed, what information could possibly be missing that would change the context of what was said by the manager? Are you saying that it is not offensive for the manager to say, "You're not a Juanita Lopez" instead of, "you are not a housekeeper"? Hmmmmm.
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