Male Nurse Interactions

Rbeck911, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2015

This type of discrimination has told me that it is OK in any situation that involves finances to insist that a male help me, if it has to do with cleaning products or paint colors then a lady can help....
Its discrimination- its disrespectful- period. Some of our patients are bigots, yes you must respect their wishes, but they are still bigots

You knew this before becoming a nurse.... And if you didn't, you didn't do your homework.

Rbeck911, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2015

" I would think the female OB nurse who didn't think I belonged on the floor was discriminatory."

The female nurse is absolutely discriminating. I don't know why your instructor didn't find someone before clinicals that was okay with you being present. That is kind of a failure on the instructors part.

MikeRN84, BSN, MSN, RN · Feb 3, 2015

Yeah she was very disrespectful and belligerent to me in front of the patient. I think my instructor handled it as best she could. My school wanted to keep that specific clinical site so they probably didn't want to step on toes. I remember having a meeting about it (just us students and the instructor) and talking about how some nurses are discriminatory and it's just a fact of life. Granted I have no strong desire to be an OB nurse, but that doesn't mean I have to be an ER nurse like everyone says I should be because I'm a guy.

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2015

Yeah she was very disrespectful and belligerent to me in front of the patient. I think my instructor handled it as best she could. My school wanted to keep that specific clinical site so they probably didn't want to step on toes. I remember having a meeting about it (just us students and the instructor) and talking about how some nurses are discriminatory and it's just a fact of life. Granted I have no strong desire to be an OB nurse, but that doesn't mean I have to be an ER nurse like everyone says I should be because I'm a guy.

And I have to say that for all my vociferousness on this thread, I wholeheartedly agree that it was wrong and discriminatory for a staff RN to say you have no place on the floor. That again is about the staff and not about the patient. If the patient was agreeable to you being present for her labor, then you shouldn't have been harassed. If she'd been agreeable to you watching her deliver, you absolutely should have been allowed to be there. :yes:

MikeRN84, BSN, MSN, RN · Feb 3, 2015

And I have to say that for all my vociferousness on this thread, I wholeheartedly agree that it was wrong and discriminatory for a staff RN to say you have no place on the floor. That again is about the staff and not about the patient. If the patient was agreeable to you being present for her labor, then you shouldn't have been harassed. If she'd been agreeable to you watching her deliver, you absolutely should have been allowed to be there.

I didn't think about it before, but I wonder if the nurses behavior made the patient reluctant to have me there.

BSNbeauty, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2015

I hear your frustration, but ultimately it was her birth so her choice, and your presence wasn't necessary for her care.
I'll give you my perspective as a 5x OB patient. I am one who's modest about stuff like that, to the extent that part of the reason I chose CNM groups for my care was so that I was guaranteed a woman would be the attending provider at push time (no male CNMs in any group in my area that I'm aware of). I know full well that male OBs, RNs, and students are professional...but I still feel more comfortable when my legs are apart and my lady parts in full view, and possibly being incontinent of stool, for the providers and nurses to be female. My husband was the only male in the room each time.
There are some women who are cool with a whole group of med or nursing students watching from the corner of the room, and there are some who will allow NOBODY extra in the delivery room--regardless of role or gender. And then there are some like me. I'm guessing that might have been the case with your patient also, if she was willing to have you in the room for the labor but not for the pushing and birth.
Again, I do hear your frustration. And I'm sure you would have been completely professional. But patient care is about the patient, not about the RN.

But what happens if a patient refuses a nurse based on the color of their skin? I understand it is all about the patient and not the RN but at some point you have to draw the line. In this instance, the OP just have to except that non-physician males are not welcomed into OB. It is sad but unfortunately true. OP , I just had a baby and I would have welcomed you to be apart of it with open arms.

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2015

Apples to oranges. Nurse-of-another-skin-color has the right to be free from workplace hostility. Modest patient in an intimately vulnerable position such as L&D has the right to choose if the non-essential personnel can be there or not. Modest female patient has the right to request a female RN if one is available. Modest female patient has the right to choose an all-female provider group over a 50-50 male-female provider group. Modest female patient in L&D does not owe non-essential male personnel the right to participate in her care.

And FTR, I would argue the same if the genders were reversed. One of the PPs mentioned her husband who insists on a male MD for his prostate exam. He is not being discriminatory either, when he calls for his appointment to specify "I want to make the appointment with a male doctor."

ETA: again, I do also agree that the OP didn't need to be subjected to hostility. Staff saying he had no business even being on the floor, or had the pt told him "Get away from me! What's wrong with you, do you have some weird fetish??" would be treating him with hostility. Saying before assuming the position, "I don't want to do this in front of you, but I appreciate your help up to this point. Thanks for understanding." is not being hostile or bigoted.

1sttime · Feb 3, 2015

If you are comparing a modest female who doesn't wish for her female parts to be wide open on display for unnecessary male personnel, and who doesn't wish to be seen being incontinent of stool as she's pushing, to a BIGOT who believes non-whites are inferior humans...
then you lack the interpersonal intelligence to practice nursing.

How many guys work in OB?

How many times have you been working triage only to be asked if a female nurse is available to triage a "personal matter"?

The elephant in the room when it comes to nursing is that it is OK to discriminate against guys.

BTW Ms Intelligence: Bigot: a person who is intolerant toward those holding different opinions; a person who hates or refuses to accept the members of a particular group.

Grab a dictionary before you start using big words

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Feb 3, 2015

How many guys work in OB?
How many times have you been working triage only to be asked if a female nurse is available to triage a "personal matter"?
The elephant in the room when it comes to nursing is that it is OK to discriminate against guys.
BTW Ms Intelligence: Bigot: a person who is intolerant toward those holding different opinions; a person who hates or refuses to accept the members of a particular group.
Grab a dictionary before you start using big words

I didn't say anything about hating or refusing to accept members of a particular group. I don't hate men and I think it's great that men go into nursing. However, yes I and any other woman absolutely has the right to say "I do not want to spread my legs and push out a baby in front of you" (whose presence is optional.) If you fail to recognize that a woman in labor is not a lab rat who must submit to the educational desires of a student, and has the right to say "No," then I stand by my words that you lack the interpersonal intelligence to practice nursing.

1sttime · Feb 3, 2015

Apples to oranges. Nurse-of-another-skin-color has the right to be free from workplace hostility. Modest patient in an intimately vulnerable position such as L&D has the right to choose if the non-essential personnel can be there or not. Modest female patient has the right to request a female RN if one is available. Modest female patient has the right to choose an all-female provider group over a 50-50 male-female provider group. Modest female patient in L&D does not owe non-essential male personnel the right to participate in her care.
And FTR, I would argue the same if the genders were reversed. One of the PPs mentioned her husband who insists on a male MD for his prostate exam. He is not being discriminatory either, when he calls for his appointment to specify "I want to make the appointment with a male doctor."
ETA: again, I do also agree that the OP didn't need to be subjected to hostility. Staff saying he had no business even being on the floor, or had the pt told him "Get away from me! What's wrong with you, do you have some weird fetish??" would be treating him with hostility. Saying before assuming the position, "I don't want to do this in front of you, but I appreciate your help up to this point. Thanks for understanding." is not being hostile or bigoted.

You are giving an example of discrimination: the practice of unfairly treating a person or group of people differently from other people or groups of people

By requesting a male doctor or female nurse you are in fact discriminating. It is your right as an individual, but I have heard too many excuses why it is ok to discriminate in my lifetime to call it something different.

1sttime · Feb 3, 2015

You have the right to be discriminatory as an individual. You obviously lack the intelligence to critically think an issue as you keep going back to one example while ignoring the meta-issue

1sttime · Feb 3, 2015

In Internet slang, a troll (/Ëˆ t r oÊŠ l /, /Ëˆ t r É’l /) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people,^[1] by posting inflammatory,^[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response^[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.^[4]

^{What do you call stating I do not have the interpersonal skills to practice nursing? You also inflated the definition of bigot to something very inflammatory....}

^{Sorry- I didn't realize you were so versed in the internets: I find people who post a lot troll for "likes", one way they do that is by playing the victim card... You have:}Posts: 1,564 Likes: 3,791