Male Nurse Interactions

Published

Here's the issue:

I've come into situations where some women aren't comfortable with a male nurse. An example would be during my OB rotation, I cared for a woman for ten hours and at the moment of labor I wasn't allowed to witness it. I was the only nursing student who never witnessed a live birth. My issue with this is why am I not allowed to do things that other male health professionals can, such as doctors? Am I not educated enough or professional enough? What should I do when I get a patient who isn't comfortable around me, without sounding snooty or petty? Do I try to convince them that I'm a professional or do I just go on my way?

If it makes you feel any better, my husband refuses to have a female doctor do his annual "turn and cough" exam. When he needed a urologist he wanted only a male. His reasons are probably cultural. He doesn't care about the gender of other docs for other types of exams. Sometimes we just have deep-rooted, irrational feelings and there's not much that can be done about it.

I know it's not the same, but there are a lot of birth videos on youtube and some of them are rather interesting (home births, shoulder dystocia, etc). If you spent a couple hours watching those you might get a better education on births than the random birth at the hospital as a nursing student.

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By the way, if I were you I'd get another username and photo. It's best to be anonymous here so you can talk more freely and your co-workers, instructors, etc won't be knowing your business.

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

When I was 21 and pregnant, I went to the ER of a HUGE teaching hospital because I was bleeding a lot at 7 weeks. While in 'the position', a Doc and 12 med students swept in through the curtain and stood discussing my case at the foot of the exam table. I felt pretty humiliated; I had to pretend I wasn't even there in order to get through the ordeal of being spread-eagle before all those completely unknown males. No clue that I had a choice about having each med student being allowed to observe my cervix first hand and venturing opinions to their instructor. No one said a single word to me, none of them looked me in the eye; it was entirely too weird! Even the ED RN was a guy, so no females present at all.

Ended up aborting, and shortly after that went on the pill, so I didn't ever have to go through the birthing process in front of a crowd.

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By the way, if I were you I'd get another username and photo. It's best to be anonymous here so you can talk more freely and your co-workers, instructors, etc won't be knowing your business.

At first I didn't care about what other people think of me, as I would never say anything that someone would consider unprofessional or unethical... But further thinking about it made me realize thats actually a really really good suggestion. I don't plan on ever discussing something that a future employer or colleague would find offensive, and causing me to get fired, but I suppose thats naivety on my part. After all everyone who gets married doesn't plan on getting a divorce. Staying anonymous has benefits. Thank you for the sound advice as I have both changed my avatar and username.

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When I was 21 and pregnant, I went to the ER of a HUGE teaching hospital because I was bleeding a lot at 7 weeks. While in 'the position', a Doc and 12 med students swept in through the curtain and stood discussing my case at the foot of the exam table. I felt pretty humiliated; I had to pretend I wasn't even there in order to get through the ordeal of being spread-eagle before all those completely unknown males. No clue that I had a choice about having each med student being allowed to observe my cervix first hand and venturing opinions to their instructor. No one said a single word to me, none of them looked me in the eye; it was entirely too weird! Even the ED RN was a guy, so no females present at all.

Ended up aborting, and shortly after that went on the pill, so I didn't ever have to go through the birthing process in front of a crowd.

Yikes! I think sometimes people forget that actual human beings with feelings and emotions are being cared for instead of a car with faulty brakes.

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

((((Hugs)))) I'm so very sorry that happened to you!! Shame on that doc, and on all of those students--who were presumably smart young people, and should have known to ask you permission, rather than follow their preceptor like sheep.

When I was 21 and pregnant, I went to the ER of a HUGE teaching hospital because I was bleeding a lot at 7 weeks. While in 'the position', a Doc and 12 med students swept in through the curtain and stood discussing my case at the foot of the exam table..............
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Specializes in Occupational Health/Legal Nurse Consulting.

Let me sum this up for you. Being a male nurse and being a male nursing student are two very different things. You have absolutely zero entitlement from your patient as a nursing student. While yes, it can be frustrating as a male nursing student to miss out on things because you are a male, it is not up to you whatsoever. Once you are a male nurse, you will enter your patients room and say, hello, my name is such and such and I will be your nurse today. This establishes that you have privileges to independently conduct nursing care and psychologically gives a far more entitled presence than identifying yourself as a student. Rather than your instructor being required to ask if it is okay that you be present, it will be up to your patient to autonomously request a different nurse. It will still happen, but will be far less likely or frequent.

As far as male med students being allowed to remain, c'mon.. If you really have to ask that question you need to get a little more experience in the medical field. Saying, "Hi, I'm Dr. Doe" demands much more respect than "Hi, I am nurse Doe". Is that fair in this particular application? No, but it is the way it is.

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Let me sum this up for you. Being a male nurse and being a male nursing student are two very different things. You have absolutely zero entitlement from your patient as a nursing student. While yes, it can be frustrating as a male nursing student to miss out on things because you are a male, it is not up to you whatsoever. Once you are a male nurse, you will enter your patients room and say, hello, my name is such and such and I will be your nurse today. This establishes that you have privileges to independently conduct nursing care and psychologically gives a far more entitled presence than identifying yourself as a student. Rather than your instructor being required to ask if it is okay that you be present, it will be up to your patient to autonomously request a different nurse. It will still happen, but will be far less likely or frequent.

As far as male med students being allowed to remain, c'mon.. If you really have to ask that question you need to get a little more experience in the medical field. Saying, "Hi, I'm Dr. Doe" demands much more respect than "Hi, I am nurse Doe". Is that fair in this particular application? No, but it is the way it is.

There were no med students in the room at the time, and I'm not sure you understood what I was asking. I wasn't complaining or demanding anything, just looking for suggestions from experienced nurses for when situations come up like that. I am a RN and also happen to be a student, I was using that particular OB example for a foundation of what to do if faced with situations like that. I don't really care about the doctor/nurse respect issue as they both have two completely different job roles.

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This type of discrimination has told me that it is OK in any situation that involves finances to insist that a male help me, if it has to do with cleaning products or paint colors then a lady can help....

Its discrimination- its disrespectful- period. Some of our patients are bigots, yes you must respect their wishes, but they are still bigots

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This type of discrimination has told me that it is OK in any situation that involves finances to insist that a male help me, if it has to do with cleaning products or paint colors then a lady can help....

Its discrimination- its disrespectful- period. Some of our patients are bigots, yes you must respect their wishes, but they are still bigots

Hah yeah I've had some great experiences with patients and some not so great. I don't think this lady was a bigot so much as embarrassed being exposed to a unnecessary male like someone else brought up. I only wish I could have been assigned to someone else 10 hours earlier so I would have possibly had the opportunity to witness one. but I do agree bigots are out there. I would think the female OB nurse who didn't think I belonged on the floor was discriminatory.

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.
This type of discrimination has told me that it is OK in any situation that involves finances to insist that a male help me, if it has to do with cleaning products or paint colors then a lady can help....

Its discrimination- its disrespectful- period. Some of our patients are bigots, yes you must respect their wishes, but they are still bigots

If you are comparing a modest female who doesn't wish for her female parts to be wide open on display for unnecessary male personnel, and who doesn't wish to be seen being incontinent of stool as she's pushing, to a BIGOT who believes non-whites are inferior humans...

then you lack the interpersonal intelligence to practice nursing.

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Specializes in Occupational Health/Legal Nurse Consulting.
There were no med students in the room at the time, and I'm not sure you understood what I was asking. I wasn't complaining or demanding anything, just looking for suggestions from experienced nurses for when situations come up like that. I am a RN and also happen to be a student, I was using that particular OB example for a foundation of what to do if faced with situations like that. I don't really care about the doctor/nurse respect issue as they both have two completely different job roles.

You really don't have any options. Either way you have to respect the patients wishes. If it bothers you, talk to your supervisor. Having said that, it is just part of being a male nurse.

I don't mean to sound blunt, but I find that a lot of people on the "Men in Nursing" board are looking for some magical solution when there is none. Our professional roles are that of a 1950's female factory worker. The only difference is we have no platform, and in fact no good reason, to expect equality. There is no social motivator for it right now. Perhaps some day there will be, but it will likely only be from a higher prevalence of male nurses.

As a new nurse, just focus on settling into your role wherever you land professionally. Gain the trust of your fellow nurses and doctors and the rest will follow.

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