Male Nurse Interactions

Nurses Men

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Here's the issue:

I've come into situations where some women aren't comfortable with a male nurse. An example would be during my OB rotation, I cared for a woman for ten hours and at the moment of labor I wasn't allowed to witness it. I was the only nursing student who never witnessed a live birth. My issue with this is why am I not allowed to do things that other male health professionals can, such as doctors? Am I not educated enough or professional enough? What should I do when I get a patient who isn't comfortable around me, without sounding snooty or petty? Do I try to convince them that I'm a professional or do I just go on my way?

Thanks for the tip. I've contemplated getting into psych before. Do you enjoy it?

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

You know, Libby1987 was right about the swooning. I've said it on here before, but I worked step-down and med-surg-resp with a male nurse, and lol's who were formerly anti-male-nurse, once he was assigned to them....they NEVER wanted anyone else! I have actually walked into a patient's room at start of shift and watch their faces fall and had them ask "Isn't 'Joe' on duty tonight?" and sigh a big sigh if he'd been assigned another part of the hall or was off duty. It made me a tad bit jealous of him, to tell you the truth; at any given point in time he had a 'fan club' of little old ladies! We ragged him a lot about it. :)

All this is to say that once you have graduated and got your RN and developed a little social/professional finesse, you might have the total opposite problem of what you ran into as a student in OB!!! So, look out!!!

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Thanks. I graduated and am interviewing for positions this week actually. Hopefully I find that sweet spot between having a fan club and complete rudeness. Wish me luck!

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On the flip side...do you really want a patient that is biased and picky like that to begin with? This has saved me more trouble than it's caused.

I'll give you ANOTHER "flip side": maybe the patient is not "biased and picky", but instead modest in nature and embarrassed about something INTENSELY PRIVATE--such as giving birth--to be witnessed by some strange dude she doesn't know, who has no vital reason to be in the room?

Just go on your way. The only thing I see to gain is a sense of acceptance. I don't need acceptance that badly from those kinds of people. I've always gone on my way, and never had a problem with it.

I'm going with the idea that brevity was the goal, and so tact just got lost along the way.......but think about it from the patient's viewpoint: it isn't that they are "those kinds of people" (in the derogatory sense you came across with) but rather PEOPLE who simply feel more comfortable with this person instead of that one at what could very well be the most intimately-revealing, most vulnerable time in her entire LIFE.

Consider it that way, and maybe you can tolerate being excluded from this particular process a little easier.....and be more tolerant of those who would prefer to exclude you?

FWIW, when I was in labor with my children, I requested that NO students whatsoever be in the room: not nursing students, not med students, didn't care what gender they were, they were NOT going to be involved even as witnesses. My births, my perogative. And I happen to LOVE having students around, LOL, so it's not that I hate students.....but the PATIENT gets to call the shots here, folks, and it doesn't make them "picky" or "biased" it makes them Queen for the Day ;)

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Thanks. I graduated and am interviewing for positions this week actually. Hopefully I find that sweet spot between having a fan club and complete rudeness. Wish me luck!

Something tells me you will do just fine: be honest with yourself and the people you work with, and work for (your patients!). Be open to suggestions, and be willing to change....and try not to become so jaded that you are willing to just walk away rather than see if there is anything you can do to help. Good luck to you!

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Something tells me you will do just fine: be honest with yourself and the people you work with, and work for (your patients!). Be open to suggestions, and be willing to change....and try not to become so jaded that you are willing to just walk away rather than see if there is anything you can do to help. Good luck to you!

Thank you. It honestly didn't bug me that much, just wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation. I love your advice about not becoming jaded and be willing to change. I'll try to live up the the high standard the profession has earned from experienced nurses.

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

THANK YOU!! I didn't have time to respond to that earlier, but you said it fabulously. Modesty does not equal bias or pickiness. It is about the patient and not about the nurse, and it is ABSOLUTELY the patient's perogative to not be exposed to anyone unless she gives permission to be. And if she chooses not to be that exposed in front of ANY unnecessary personnel, she has that right. She does not owe students the experience of witnessing her birth, nor does she owe anyone an explanation.

Personally, I think I would have been okay with ONE *female* nursing student *who behaved professionally.* I would NOT have allowed a whole clinical group to watch, even if all female. (I guess that wasn't even on my radar when I responded initially, because during my OB rotation there was never more than one student in the delivery room. Which meant only 4-5 of us got to see a birth during school; I didn't. That's life.) Likewise, if my husband had been uneasy about excess people in the room, I would have respected his wishes and had this hypothetical one female student leave. I know he wouldn't have been keen on unnecessary males in the room because it's a cultural thing from where he hails from (outside the Western hemisphere.) That would be my right as the one giving birth. Just like it was RNsRWe's right to have NO students in the room.

OP, this is not directed at you. The post that RNsRWe is responding to did rub me the wrong way, though.

I'll give you ANOTHER "flip side": maybe the patient is not "biased and picky", but instead modest in nature and embarrassed about something INTENSELY PRIVATE--such as giving birth--to be witnessed by some strange dude she doesn't know, who has no vital reason to be in the room?

I'm going with the idea that brevity was the goal, and so tact just got lost along the way.......but think about it from the patient's viewpoint: it isn't that they are "those kinds of people" (in the derogatory sense you came across with) but rather PEOPLE who simply feel more comfortable with this person instead of that one at what could very well be the most intimately-revealing, most vulnerable time in her entire LIFE.

Consider it that way, and maybe you can tolerate being excluded from this particular process a little easier.....and be more tolerant of those who would prefer to exclude you?

FWIW, when I was in labor with my children, I requested that NO students whatsoever be in the room: not nursing students, not med students, didn't care what gender they were, they were NOT going to be involved even as witnesses. My births, my perogative. And I happen to LOVE having students around, LOL, so it's not that I hate students.....but the PATIENT gets to call the shots here, folks, and it doesn't make them "picky" or "biased" it makes them Queen for the Day ;)

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I was sexually abused when I was very young. When I had my kids I wished that no one had to be present. I wanted only female providers and even then I felt traumatized.

I've been to therapy and I'm better now, but I still only want female providers when I need to be undressed.

So many people have been sexually abused. Others have cultural influences dictating their comfort around the opposite sex. Others are just modest and don't want to be seen naked unless absolutely required.

It's not always about you. Sometimes it just about them. And that's ok :)

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I was sexually abused when I was very young. When I had my kids I wished that no one had to be present. I wanted only female providers and even then I felt traumatized.

I've been to therapy and I'm better now, but I still only want female providers when I need to be undressed.

So many people have been sexually abused. Others have cultural influences dictating their comfort around the opposite sex. Others are just modest and don't want to be seen naked unless absolutely required.

It's not always about you. Sometimes it just about them. And that's ok :)

Well thank you for sharing that... I'm very sorry that happened to you. You're right it's perfectly fine for it to be about them!

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Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.

If its a case of a female patient who requests no men then I am not the least bothered. If its a case that she doesn't seem to care about male physicians and other staff but doesn't want a male nurse, or nursing student then it annoys me. Either way my outward reacion is the same.

"I will try to find a female to care for you. And I do

One of the small rural ERs where I work casual sometimes they are out of luck. We usually have a female staff to be in the room with us, but often it is a CNA so while she can be in the room with me and a female patient, she can't provide nursing care. Sometimes it had worked out that there are no female staff member in the hospital at night. When there are no in-patients in the hospital we usually run with one provider, one RN, one CNA and a lab tech. Sometimes all have been male. Other times the lone female staffed as a CNA calls in and again no female staff. Patients just need to deal with it or drive a LONG way to another ER.

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Specializes in Family Practice, Primary Care.

Gee, you're lucky. I got to assist with a birth during my OB rotation (none of the female students did) and my patients used to BEG me to do their OB and GYN care instead of the gynecologists. I'm glad I'm in geriatrics now. MUCH less GYN there.

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Specializes in CVICU.

I'm a male and graduate RN school in May. I've had female patients request that I not care for them, or not be in the room to observe a procedure. I have never fought it because ultimately we provide care for the patient, the patient isn't there for us.

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