LPN for 15years with no complaints\ reporting on my license.

[sboston20]

Hi,

I've been in the medical field for over 23years. Been an LPN for 15years. I never had a negative mark on my licence. I just went back to work after being out puff work for over a year because i broke my ankle in three different places and dislocated it. I started this new job and just got off orientation less than a Week before this incident. I had a rough night after a three day stretch of work...oh,also i startedd working 11pm-7:00am for the firs. time ever, and it was a challenge to say the least. So i came into work after two days off and immediately was asked if i knew that i was supposed to file paperwork on 11-7 upstairs...( i was working on another floor this night) that enraged me because i was at work till 9:00 am on the morning that this particular nurse was questioning me about. So i went on to tell her ( as other nurses were around) that i did everything i could that night considering there was 40+ patients, one nurse..me, and two nursing aides. Needless to say, i was swamped. So apparently whilI was ranting and raving, i told her on my way home that Monday morning i got pulled over because i was so tired. The police were very nice and let me have someone come get me and leave my car there. Well apparently somebody went and told the administrator add the nurse educator what i said and everything went left...and i mean left. So on Thursday morning after my overnight shift i got called into the office. The administrator and nurse educator started to attack my nursing abilities, my ability to work 11pm to 7am and low and behold the morning i got pulled over was a concern to them. They both left the room and i will admit, i was scared ****. Why??? Because i went out with my girlfriends Tuesday night to celebrate my friends divorce, and my return to work after being home over a year and had a few drinks and did one tiny line of cocaine....i know, bad decision. Also since i returned to work my ankle had been swelling up and killing me. I'm not on any meds, but many girlfriend had a few Tylenol #3 and offered me one. So dancing and having a good time, i didn't wanna be a Debbie downer and i went on with my night. After doing what i did, i didn't think about it again...until that dreaded morning. So, they asked me to give them a urine and i did it....i should of said no and let them fire me. But inn my head i had something to prove, what, i don't know. So i left after my urine and Fled to my car to cry. I went about the rest of my day and impatiently waiting for the bad news. Finally my phone rang and she in the sweetest voice ever asked if i was working tonight and could i come in and sign my competency papers before 4:00pm. I agreed. So when i got in there, What she really wanted was my signature on the drug test i took earlier in the morning. Surprise Surprise. Anyways, again i could have opted out and of course i didn't. Needless to say they suspended me until the results come back. It's been a Week today and i called the lab yesterday. Drug screen came back positive for cocaine and morphine (codeine changes to morphine. ..great.) haven't heard from my work, But the day after i submitted my urine, i resigned and explained my side of the situation. So here's my question...what happeneds next? Is there a chance they won't contact BON?? I'm not an addict and I'm 42y.o. honestly to Do a 5year program...I'd end up with My licence back at the age of 47. What should i expect and what should my next step be? Thank you guys. Please no scolding..i think ive done a good job at that on my own.

[resqbug]

No one goes from zero to cocaine. You have a substance problem and until you admit that, you won't make much progress.

Ditto on this.

Less than 24 hours before you returned to work your shift on Wednesday night, you had done cocaine, tylenol 3's and ETOH?

I don't want to scold you, but I think you are not realizing the extent of your substance use, especially when you say you feel you were targeted. There were obviously some warning signals since your nursing administrator wanted to speak with you regarding your nursing ability.

If given the chance to enroll in a program through the BON, it may give you exactly what you need. You need some help it sounds like and this may be a blessing in disguise for you.

[catmom1, BSN, RN]

When my stuff hit the fan, I thought I would die of the shame. I persevered and you can too, if you wish.

Catmom :paw:

[CryssieD]

Sorry, I'm afraid you're totally busted. It sounds like, unless you're extremely lucky, you're going to wind up doing rehab, lots of counselling, lots of meetings, and lots of drug screens! Fun fun fun!

I'm sorry this happened—it's a horrible feeling, I know. But…no point in crying over spilled milk—pick yourself up, shake it off, and move on to whatever comes next. I won't lie—it's a very humbling experience, no one appreciates their dirty laundry hung out on a line for the whole world to see; sometimes self-reporting is the way to go because if you volunteer rather than waiting to get ordered into a program you can keep the black mark of disciplinary action off your official record. Ask an attorney for a more qualified opinion,but my gut feeling is that's your best option; as a nurse you know better than to take someone else's narcotic meds and you definitely can't expect the BON to overlook cocaine use. Just remember in your dealings with the Board that it has priorities: 1) itself, 2) the public, and 3) last and least, you. Its job is not to be compassionate, understanding, and forgiving—no excuses or rationalizations are going to be accepted.

That said, however, it's not the end of the world--you're not the only one in this boat, you've got lots of support here and you'll find lots of support in Caduceus and 12-Step meetings; you might even find this to be one of the best things that's ever happened in your life—sounds nuts right now, I know, but I'm actually grateful for my mistakes and their consequences,they forced me to get the help I needed. I'm so much stronger and healthier for thisinitially devastating experience I can hardly believe it—so keep your chin up,it will get better and you'll find it was all worth it in the end.

BTW, I'm 47 now, and my career is hardly over—recently started the process of going back for my Master's; this is not the end for your career, just a (slightly rocky) new beginning! You have some dark days ahead but there is always sun after the storm. Always. (Don't mean to sound like a pie-eyed optimist,but after 5 years I've gotten some perspective on the whole thing, and it's really NOT as bad as it seems at first—I totally promise.)

[CryssieD]

Gonna throw this computer out the window--what is UP with all that FONT stuff anyway?!? Aaarrrggghhh!!!

[nursel56]

Gonna throw this computer out the window--what is UP with all that FONT stuff anyway?!? Aaarrrggghhh!!!

It might be something about our formatting limits regarding fonts and colors CryssieD. Maybe you can edit it or go to How to Use Site or Admin Help Desk.

[nursel56]

When my stuff hit the fan, I thought I would die of the shame. I persevered and you can too, if you wish.

Catmom :paw:

sboston so sorry this is happening. I just hope that whatever happens you will be able to post something like the above someday. Wishing you all the best.

[Silverdragon102, BSN]

I tided up the post :)

[Oedgar]

This didn't exactly "happen" to you.... you made a choice to use cocaine and take an Rx that did not belong to you. In my younger years, I was occasionally in situations where I could have tried a few things. But, I felt a moral obligation to my patients to keep as many of my brain cells intact as possible. Would it best serve my patients to have a nurse who used substances? I hope this does not sound snarky, as that is not my intention. I really do wish you the best possible outcome.

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

So, now I'm more afraid than ever. Is it 100% reported as addiction when something like this happens? I feel as though i was targeted ave i know there's no doubt aboutit that i was dirty. But i. Was also off the clock. Im so upset. Im 42y.o. and if i goy through this 5year inteintensive course...ill be 46. Basically coming at the end of my career. Ive been told that since its a first offense there maybe some leniency. If that isnt the case, i dont have a lot of money to go through this. If i was to hand up my scrubs for another career what on my part would have to be done? Im so depressed that i just dont think i have it in me mentally or physically.

Thank you for all your comments.

Here's the thing it doesn't matter if you were engaging in drug use on your off time or not. The NUrse Practice act specifically adresses the act of illegal behavior such as using cocaine as violations. You are prohibited from engaging in crimes of moroal turpitude. It doesn't matter weather you believe such recreational use should be illegal.

What I would do is - Get a referral to an addiction specialist and get evaluated if you have health insurance you can go into any rehab facility and get an evaluation. If they feel you have a problem you need to take immediate steps to improve your situation. One hire an attorney experienced in professional licensing issues ( Not all are). Two - get into a rehab even if it's an Intensive Out-patient which most insurances cover. Stop taking anything recreationally or that you don't have a prescription for (No more borrowing from friends which is actually a crime in itself where controlled substances are involved). Start attending NA meetings 90 meetings in 90 days get a notebook and have each meeting signed off by date. Get a sponsor and start working the steps. All of this will go a long way with the board when they catch up to you. Like it or not even if you are not an addict drugs have now caused a problem in your life and you need to take a serious look at the consequences.

This does not mean your career is over - just a new phase - A diversion program and treatment saved my life not just my career and I am a better nurse for it today.

Peace

Hppy

[sboston20]

my problem is this I just returned to work after over a year I was only on the job for less then 60 days I do not have any savings to hire an attorney and I am a single mother so to work part time is not an option for me I just don't understand how this is going to work in my favor if I do any of this I get it I will come out a better person going to meetings and taking a look at my situation but in the meantime how do I continue with life those things don't pay the bills and I'm almost thinking that getting a job in another field even though I absolutely love nursing is a better option for me I wish I had somebody to help me but I don't so I am on my own and money for a lawyer and working part time while I do all this work on the side is just something that seems so unattainable to me. I have spoke to somebody that is a friend of a friend and Zayn though what it is like to go through this because she has gone through it and has just gotten off her 5 year program I want to say about a year ago so I know that it works and I know that it's doable but she also has a husband that makes very good money I just don't see how this is going to help me in keeping my nursing license if I can't obtain a lawyer or health insurance because I haven't been at this job for more than two months. I can't help but feel as though I'm making excuses for myself and I don't think that I am is there any way to continue to work in the medical field if you're not working with medications or is it 100% you do not have a license anymore. I started out as a secretary and then went into medical assisting and then went to nursing school so I have an extensive background I just don't know what to do and my head is spinning I can't relax and I can't stop wondering what is going to happen once my last paycheck arrives

[caliotter3]

You need to slow down and take a deep breath. You seem to have identified for yourself that you need a job. If you want to pursue defending your license, you can not afford not to have an attorney. Find one that will work with your circumstances. You can use the referral service at TAANA to find one that is experienced with dealing with nursing boards. TAANA Executive Office - Home Meanwhile, whatever you decide to do, or not do, you need to get your head together, because your family depends upon you to keep a roof over your heads and food on the table. You can't do that if you choose to continue to remain in a tizzy. As they say, "stop the stinking thinking".

[dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN]

Here's the thing it doesn't matter if you were engaging in drug use on your off time or not. The NUrse Practice act specifically adresses the act of illegal behavior such as using cocaine as violations. You are prohibited from engaging in crimes of moroal turpitude. It doesn't matter weather you believe such recreational use should be illegal.

What I would do is - Get a referral to an addiction specialist and get evaluated if you have health insurance you can go into any rehab facility and get an evaluation. If they feel you have a problem you need to take immediate steps to improve your situation. One hire an attorney experienced in professional licensing issues ( Not all are). Two - get into a rehab even if it's an Intensive Out-patient which most insurances cover. Stop taking anything recreationally or that you don't have a prescription for (No more borrowing from friends which is actually a crime in itself where controlled substances are involved). Start attending NA meetings 90 meetings in 90 days get a notebook and have each meeting signed off by date. Get a sponsor and start working the steps. All of this will go a long way with the board when they catch up to you. Like it or not even if you are not an addict drugs have now caused a problem in your life and you need to take a serious look at the consequences.

This does not mean your career is over - just a new phase - A diversion program and treatment saved my life not just my career and I am a better nurse for it today.

Peace

Hppy

Unfortunately, while a lot of this sounds great in theory, the OP's next moves should be based on where she lives. If she is in a state with a monitoring program, she is going to be bounced into that program. The length and stipulations are going to be based off a one-size-fits-all approach based on a positive drug UA. She will need to get an evaluation from a program approved evaluator, not just any evaluator. Telling someone who has no money anyway to jump fully into rehab or IOP is silly. She will need to do exactly what the program approved evaluator says to do. Going overboard with full on rehab when the evaluator might suggest OP therapy once a week is not going to change the program matrix with which she will be evalauted. Same goes for meetings etc. Great advice if she is interested in it, but those will come as part of the monitoring program package anyway. Now, I can't speak for someone that lives in a state where the BON makes these decisions. But this isn't like the legal system where you can get charges dropped or time off a sentence by getting help early.

To the OP -- hopefully you can figure out what is best for you. Can you get any sort of non-nursing job to help pay the bills? Legally, you can still work in an any medical setting -- just not as a LPN or any other licensed capacity once the BON does get its slow wheels grinding. I also third getting a lawyer although I understand that you may just not have the money to get one that is BON experienced. HUGS.