Low self-esteem ....HELP!

[dmena14]

I'm a nursing student and well,..... I get unacceptably nervous when I'm on the spotlight of my teachers, my mind goes blank (even if I know the material) and it just doesn't look good. I sat alone and had to meditate about it. It believe, it is deeply related to my low self-esteem. I've been to therapy for years and worked on it, but I still need lots of work, LOTS. Have I made a huge mistake going into Nursing? I'm a 2nd year student now but this might be my undoing. I admire Nurses cause they seem so confident, strong and composed. The opposite of me, but my self-esteem is not going to change over night. I love the feeling of making an ill person's day a little better. A Nurse should be confident, composed, knows their stuff and can deliver the calm in the storm, that goal feels like claiming the Everest to me. Please kindly advise.

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

Moved to AN's General Nursing Student forum for sage member advice.

:)

[Carlalily]

Sounds like you have a good heart and care for your patients. Youre off to a great start and if you know your skills like you said, then relax so you can show your instructors who you really are. Stay prepared, and keep your chin up. You can do this!!!!!

[Nola009]

The confidence you admire usually comes with practice and time. Keep at it. Since you are fortunate enough to recognize your weakness, at least you can seek help and work on it.

[SionainnRN]

Realizing there's an issue is the first step to getting better. Talk with your therapist on some tricks to help easy your anxiety when asked questions, taking a long deep breath before answering the question does wonders for calming you down, you can have friends help quiz you by asking questions out loud to help mimic clinical settings. Just realize most of us are faking it till we make it!

If nothing else, try, give it your very best shot so you'll know that even if it turns out that nursing isn't for you, you gave it your all! Good luck and keep trying!

[RunBabyRN]

I agree about talking with your therapist about this stuff. When in practice, SLOW DOWN, take a deep breath, and remember that and safety is more important than speed. I think most of us get nervous when someone's watching us do something or being critical of what we're doing (even in a constructive and supportive way). Try practicing skills in front of loved ones and classmates, just to help you work through this particular issue some.

Many nurses may look confident on the outside, but are feeling anxiety and nervousness on the inside over certain things. Also remember that they've done a lot of this before. You get used to performing tasks with a family member watching, or even the patient. There is always SOME kind of watchful eye. Working through this will be imperative to your success as a nurse. Keep working with your therapist, and recruit help where you can. Good luck!

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

I don't think people are as confident as you think. They are just better at faking it. That's a skill that can be learned. Fake it until you make it!! What you will need to be able to do is come across as confident to your patients. Competency will come in time. The more you work on something the better you will get. I would practice on portraying confidence to people. But don't worry those who come across as confident on the outside may really be as unsure as you on the inside.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I don't think people are as confident as you think. They are just better at faking it. That's a skill that can be learned. Fake it until you make it!!

Speaking for myself, I've been a nurse for almost a decade and I'm still not confident in my hands-on procedural skills or abilities. However, no one would ever guess this by looking at me or hearing me speak.

I walk with my head held high and speak with authority. In essence, I fake it to make it.

[IHeartPeds87]

I literally could have written your post a few months ago OP. I have a clinical instructor this term who has really helped me get over this.

Please note that I am not a therapist, and this is purely anecdotal and it has been helping me.

I learned to focus on the positive, particularly during clinical experiences.

Every day after clinical, I write out a mini-journal for myself that focuses on things I have done right/learned/praising myself for the way I handled a situation, etc. No matter how small it is. I go over the course of my day in my head and write out things that went well. Sometimes it is something as small as "remembering to bring in water for my patient when it was time to give her oral meds." Sounds dumb but there was a clinical when I did NOT do this and it flustered me, so me doing it was a positive. I was only allowed to write down positive things! Even in an awful situation, I made myself see SOMETHING good that I did.

For example, if I completely blanked and didn't remember how to do a procedure, you can either focus on the fact that I completely blanked out OR you could see that yes I didn't remember how to do it but I also didn't "wing it" because I care too much about the patient to do that, I went and looked it up/admitted I didn't remember how/etc.

Also, writing out step by step how to do the procedure and watching videos can help. So if I blanked out once, I made an effort to visualize how I would have liked that experience to go so that if I was presented with the same opportunity...what would I do differently?

I know a lot of this sounds cheesy, but it has helped me a lot. It has helped me focus on my strengths and even work on my weaknesses without allowing them to bring me down.

Think about it this way: if you knew how to do everything and had all the skills/knowledge to be a nurse...you'd be a nurse, not a nursing student. NOBODY was born with the knowledge to do these procedures. Every single person HAD TO BE TAUGHT HOW TO DO THESE.

So what if this is an area that you struggle with? What is an area that you do well in? Everybody has their strengths and weaknesses. Focus on the positive....and the experience will seem more positive.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

Sticking with nursing & therapy may help you work through it; I've struggled with the same issues, so I feel ya. Don't sell yourself short! You can excel in nursing if you have compassion & discipline, in my opinion. As a last resort, try what Stuart Smiley does:

[video=youtube_share;-DIETlxquzY]

Good luck in school & work!

[dmena14]

Thank you so much to all you for your replies. Yes, I made arrangement to see a psychotherapist and psychiatrist and I will work hard on it to calm my nerves and demonstrate that my nerves don't have me but I have them. I feel better because I thought it was some thing I couldn't work through but it sounds like it is achievable with hard work, which I will do. At least I don't see myself as an aberration of the norm know.

[dmena14]

Absolutely great, loved him always.