Lotus births.

NICU_Nurse, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2003

Oh, wait. I've got one.

What's slimy and bloody and goes Ho! Ho! Ho!?

Placenta Claus.

BETSRN · Oct 10, 2003

This is a ridiculous thread! We do have many Hispanics that want to keep the cord clamp and will keep the cord stump when it falls off, but that's about it. Never ever had a "Granola Nut" (sorry if I offend anyone) ask to have a Lotus Birth. We are very laid back at my place but even our group would frown on that idea!

ktwlpn, LPN · Oct 10, 2003

I never found my son's stump.It was there one day and gone the next.......Maybe the CAT knows what happened to it....Maybe.....that is whay the cat is 22 years old and still purring...Ah HA! The fountain of youth is filled with amniotic fluid,placentas and umbilical cords..(.Hey=What a fun game for Halloween-bobbing for cord stumps.... You could throw pieces of slim jim in a bull of red punch))

mother/babyRN, RN · Oct 10, 2003

It isn't a ridiculous thread..It is turning out to be quite humorous and I haven't found anyone here belittling any cultural beliefs. I think we are all aware of them and try to respect them...This is a silly venting of what we think about the more slimy parts of nursing...Nurses poking fun at an idea, not a culture.....If thats what you want to do ( save stuff), bully for you, but I am so not going to participate avidly or happily....Someone doing a lotus birth on my watch will be COMPLETELY in charge of that placenta......We are just being silly here...We should lighten up! :)

mother/babyRN, RN · Oct 10, 2003

In my little neck of the woods where many cultures and "cruncy granola" types reside, I can just see this whole thing coming down the road...I have to prepare myself ...Please forgive me....

palesarah · Oct 10, 2003

Originally posted by LuvsOB
We had great fun with this topic at work last night. Whats next, saving meconium plugs?

We actually found a saved mec plug in a specimen container in the BREASTMILK fridge, of all places, this past summer.

No one knew what it was, why or how long it had been there at first, but the mom had thoughfully labeled the container with the baby's name... eventually someone got up the nerve to call and ask if she "had left anything behind?"

At least she didn't want it back!

caffine addict · Oct 11, 2003

Originally posted by NICU_Nurse
Oh, wait. I've got one.

What's slimy and bloody and goes Ho! Ho! Ho!?

Placenta Claus.

I love one liners!! Thats a great one!!!

By the way, the pic of the placenta product, what do you do with it:confused:

HazeK · Oct 11, 2003

:eek: Uh, I remember being with my beagle when she had her littler of puppies.

After several minutes of life, she knawed through the umbilical cord and ate the placenta (argh, it was so gross!).

Maybe these "Lotus Birth" folks wanna try that next??

Haze

ps wonder what OSHA/JACHO would say about babies with placentas in the nursery, handled by nursery staff, etc? OUR nursery staff get nauseated w/ handling clean and bagged cord blood tubes...let alone placentas! LOL

allnurses Guide · Oct 12, 2003

Hilarious . . .:roll

When she describes why she is doing this . . to keep the baby from feeling separated and help the baby feel close . . why the heck doesn't she just pick the baby up and hold him? Let the child fold into her bosom? Nurse him? Softly kiss his head? Wrap him in her arms? She lets the umbilical cord and placenta do the "bonding" work instead? This is nuts.

But oh so funny . . . . I've missed alot of these funny threads recently. Gotta stay away from Current Events and politics and just have fun.

Thanks for the laughs- -y'all are good!!

steph:D

NICU_Nurse, BSN, RN · Oct 12, 2003

In my professional opinion, I find that softly kissing the placenta is MUCH more effective.

Caffeine, the placenta products pictured are hair care products, but I've seen face creams and body washes with it also (different brands). I'm curious as to what TYPE of placenta is in there- it can't be human. Can it? (cue spooky music)

Once we were planning a baby shower at work and we got the late-night-hysterics (ever had those?). We were laughing so hard I almost died right there in my chair. We went from a nice brunch for a co-worker to a full-out birth-themed extravaganza. Unfortunately, I can't remember for the life of me what we had planned! The slim jim thing reminded me of it. I'm going to have to ask a friend and get back to you on that. I do remember some of what was on the menu:

Meconium (Pureed artichoke-spinach dip colored evergreen with food coloring)

Amniotic fluid punch (Pineapple sherbet, champagne, and 7-UP)

Fake placenta cake (made with red devil cake so that when you cut into it it's nice and "bloody"- we wanted to swirl it with blue frosting on the inside for veins and put little chunks of maraschino cherries in there for "clots")

Breastmilkshakes (self-explanatory)

We had something for umbilical cords and mucous plugs, but I have to ask someone else what that was.

I remember the first time I saw a meconium plug- it was in a baby who had Cystic Fibrosis and ilial atresia, and I had been a nurse for about 5 months or so. I went to change the diaper and saw it, and my heart GALLOPED right in my chest- my first thought was that it was a worm, and the second was that it was the baby's INTESTINES!

ROFL!

It was tube shaped, and meconium colored at the very end, but it was about three inches long, and the first 2 1/2 inches was FLESH colored. I literally had to choke back a scream right there on the spot! My old preceptor saw my face, and when she realized what it was, she nearly peed on herself, she was laughing so hard!

To this DAY I've never seen anything like it. (shuddering)

I had dreams that that thing kept crawling up the side of my bed to eat me.

NICU_Nurse, BSN, RN · Oct 12, 2003

You know what? Beef jerky would be better than Slim Jims.

at your cervix · Oct 19, 2003

What will they think of next????????????????????