just venting..replies welcome

RN92 · Jul 26, 2004

Who told you that you had to suck it up.? First of all, you dont have to take care of someone who is being verbally abusive. I would have called the house supervisor and had him/her talk to the patient. Taking care of someone who is being abusive only sets you up for lawsuits/accusations. Just because we care for the sick, doesnt mean they get to abuse you.!

Maybe, you would like working with children better - maybe neonates...they cant talk!! You've worked very hard (im sure) to get your license - dont let someone like that undo everything you've accomplished. Seriously, though, there are other options besides adult care nursing. Good luck.!!

cannoli · Jul 26, 2004

I think it sometimes comes with age, the realization that it is NOT you. Some people are just nasty, evil, mentally ill, have their own agendas, whatever.

I don't know what to say, but God bless.

The job gets harder every day, and in my opinion, people should consider themselves damn lucky that there are people willing to do this work.

leslie :-D · Jul 26, 2004

sadly, we all know those type patients.

please be sure to document pt's hostile and agitated ideations/delusions.

also, maybe talk to your nm about what you're expected to do in verbal abuse cases?

i truly hope you get the support you so deserve and need.

bless you.

leslie

SharonH, RN · Jul 26, 2004

I had a 39 yo patient today who was very difficult with me..fabricating stories, completely lying to the doctors about what i said....making me feel and look like the worst nurse in the world..she continued to complain about me all day..for 8 hours straight...up and down the halls yelling about how terrible I was. I have NEVER had this happen before and consider myself to be a very good compassionate nurse...and to have a patient who has a chip on her shoulder take it out on me is wrong....to top it off the fact that we as nurse have to suck it up instead of defending ourselves sucks worse. I always wanted to be a nurse.....since I was a kid...now that I am.....I want nothing more than to hand in my license, turn in my badge and apply at walmart. I have cried at work before...but today was all I could take...I have to wonder...is it me/ do I think I am a good nurse when in fact I am lousy? no....I AM a good nurse.....but how can I make things better with a difficult patient instead of curling up in the corner and sobbing bc I am exhausted after working 14 hour days......and then get screamed at by a pt and called every name in the book with visitors and staff watching. Guys, I am fed up....I love what I do ...but I dont know if I can keep doing this.

Dear Angie, you do NOT have to suck it up and you ARE allowed to defend yourself. I do not allow patients to lie about me right to my face, I will call them on it every time and if necessary I will report abusive behavior to supervisors and security. I would have also wrote up every fabrication and made sure my nurse manager was aware and most importantly, that patient would not be assigned to me again. I understand your frustration and I feel your pain but you are not helpless. Good luck, I hope it gets better for you.

tiroka03, LPN · Jul 26, 2004

I've had a pt get angry because I wouldn't massage her with a cream that was contra indicated to massage. Sorry can't do it.

She went to management and tried to get me fired.

Shocked that someone would try to get me fired, and amazed management told me to try to be nice to her. Make nice.

I tried to make nice. I decieded someone which this ugly of a personality had to be awfully lonely. So I picked her flowers from my garden and put them in a vase. She looked at me and threw the flowers and said, looks like an expensive vase - Thanks I will sell it when I get out of here.

Learned a lesson real fast. Some people are just plain mean.

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Jul 26, 2004

JMO but in our hospital we would have alternated answering that bell and presented a unified front to the patient...civil, but not allowing her to speak badly of our coworkers. Definitely wouldn't have the same nurse assigned to her two days in a row.

jemb · Jul 26, 2004

As previously stated, some people are just mean and hateful. Definitely notify your supervisor (and security if the patient is threatening -verbal or physical.)

jschut, BSN, RN · Jul 26, 2004

Take someone with you if you are assigned her again. I know it may be difficult, but that's how we do it. If a patient is telling tales, we always do the buddy system when entering the room, to have a backup.

Nurse Ratched, RN · Jul 26, 2004

Were I your charge nurse, there is no way I would have you continue on with that patient assignment. When there is such an obvious conflict (and a probably bordeline personality pt like this would be the same with any other nurse) I would have re-assigned the pt (to me, probably .)

No, you DON'T have to take this.

karenG · Jul 26, 2004

they do not pay us enough to take that kind of verbal abuse. the advise given is good.

take care

Karen

NewEastCoastRN · Jul 26, 2004

I am sorry you had one of those days. At the hospital I work we have a lot of IV drug abusers who have that manipulative, sometimes nasty attitudes. One day I had 2 of those kinds of patients. I put up with them just fine until dinnertime, but when one of those patients lost it for the second time because she was not happy with her tray (like she gets much better on the outside!) I burst into tears (not in front of them, thankfully). At our hospital we have behavior contracts that patients like that need to sign, saying that they cannot behave like that or they will be administratively discharged. Tough love. Please do not take the things your patient said personally. You ARE a great nurse.