just venting..replies welcome

Nurses General Nursing

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I had a 39 yo patient today who was very difficult with me..fabricating stories, completely lying to the doctors about what i said....making me feel and look like the worst nurse in the world..she continued to complain about me all day..for 8 hours straight...up and down the halls yelling about how terrible I was. I have NEVER had this happen before and consider myself to be a very good compassionate nurse...and to have a patient who has a chip on her shoulder take it out on me is wrong....to top it off the fact that we as nurse have to suck it up instead of defending ourselves sucks worse. I always wanted to be a nurse.....since I was a kid...now that I am.....I want nothing more than to hand in my license, turn in my badge and apply at walmart. I have cried at work before...but today was all I could take...I have to wonder...is it me/ do I think I am a good nurse when in fact I am lousy? no....I AM a good nurse.....but how can I make things better with a difficult patient instead of curling up in the corner and sobbing bc I am exhausted after working 14 hour days......and then get screamed at by a pt and called every name in the book with visitors and staff watching. Guys, I am fed up....I love what I do ...but I dont know if I can keep doing this.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

sounds like a master manipulator to me. Do NOT play into her hands.

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
Were I your charge nurse, there is no way I would have you continue on with that patient assignment. When there is such an obvious conflict (and a probably bordeline personality pt like this would be the same with any other nurse) I would have re-assigned the pt (to me, probably ;).)

No, you DON'T have to take this.

Will you marry me? More importantly, will you be my Charge Nurse? Is that a recent photo, btw?

Specializes in NICU, PICU, educator.

We have decided in our unit that we are not putting up with verbal abuse anymore.

And working with kids and neonates isn't much better...you then have crazy parents to deal with!

We tell them, nicely, that we will not tolerate that kind of behaviour, and if it happens again, we will call security to come and escort them out of the unit. They don't pay me enough to deal with that crap.

Assuming this pt wasn't demented, I hope she gets what she deserves: a long death where in the end, everyone she knows has abandon her.

But that's stupid, isn't it? I don't have to hope for anything. Everyone reaps what they sow in this life. It's as sure as any law of physics.

Ditto the other posters remarks!!!

I've only encountered this 1 time in almost 15 years of nursing to that extent..I called the super and explained the situation..she agreed that I should not be assigned that pt...I kindly went back to the pt room and informed her that another nurse would be in soon to take over her care and left her room with a smile :)

I did nothing to provoke this pts negative attitude towards me and was always respectful of her and attended her needs/wants..sometimes some people can't be pleased no matter what..yanno ? don't take it personally...if you do your best and act in a professional way you have no regrets.Just always remember that you don't have to be put in that situation/don't have to put up with down right abuse.

Specializes in Geriatrics/Oncology/Psych/College Health.
Will you marry me? More importantly, will you be my Charge Nurse? Is that a recent photo, btw?

:chuckle

Too funny. Nah - it's not me, alas. My avatar is Lucy Lawless of Xena, Warrior Princess fame.

Since I'm only on the psych unit a few days a month now, I consider it a kindness to my co-workers to take the annoying patients. They have to deal with it full-time. I really try to avoid charging now; I prefer to act as a backup.

Recently, we had a patient who was really badgering her nurse for a prn narc (not pain meds - this was someone who was jonesing for the thing she had come in to detox from.) The other nurse was at her wit's end. It would have been a disservice to the patient to give her the med, as she did not fall within the PRN vitals parameters and had not since her arrival. As long as that order was there, though, she was going to be carrying on about it.

Pt was just convinced that it was the horrible particular nurses that she had the bad luck to be assigned to. I discussed it with the other nurse and approached the doc to see about getting the prn med discontinued. He did so and ordered a non-narc alternative for her problem. End of problem. I did also offer to trade patients with her, but the order solved the problem. I also talked to the patient and told her about the order changes. Then I became the evil nurse and the person who was actually assigned to her was cut some slack.

My point is, some patients require teamwork. If you see your co-worker struggling with someone, you see what you can do to help. No one's interests are served by leaving a nurse in a situation like that.

So sorry you had one of those days!! But like the other posts, on my unit, if one of the nurses had this patient, we would have all offered to exchange a pt, or all of us taken turns dealing with this patient. No better way to prove it is the pt with the problem, not the nurse! Enough abuse coming from all directions, we can at least step in with a united front with the patients. You are a good nurse, and the great thing about this job is that each day is different, (if you remember to erase your name from that assignment before you leave at the end of your shift!)

I work part time in a LTC and what I don't understand is why facilities take some of these patients in the first place. They should take into consideration why the previous facility is discharging the patient and if it is due to a difficult patient or family member then don't take the admission. Or if the patient is particularly difficult after admission, then administration should grow a set of *&%^$ and say "I'm sorry but obviously we are not able to meet your needs. Here is a list of other facilities in the area".

i work in a psych ltc facility and you can not threaten to discharge them bc many are there by committent....you can't change with another nurse like you can in hosp setting...pay is above average (hazardous duty pay) and i like the hours but most of the nurses and the cnas have been hit at least once...these people get physical problems and have to go to hospital and i can just imagine what problems they are there...we have had hospital call and ask us to send someone to stay with them durin g their stay..."sorry we can't do that insufficient staff"

I hope that you have better days and more appreciative patients...thats why the sun comes up every morning..viola it's another day!!!

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
I had a 39 yo patient today who was very difficult with me..fabricating stories, completely lying to the doctors about what i said....making me feel and look like the worst nurse in the world..she continued to complain about me all day..for 8 hours straight...up and down the halls yelling about how terrible I was. I have NEVER had this happen before and consider myself to be a very good compassionate nurse...and to have a patient who has a chip on her shoulder take it out on me is wrong....to top it off the fact that we as nurse have to suck it up instead of defending ourselves sucks worse. I always wanted to be a nurse.....since I was a kid...now that I am.....I want nothing more than to hand in my license, turn in my badge and apply at walmart. I have cried at work before...but today was all I could take...I have to wonder...is it me/ do I think I am a good nurse when in fact I am lousy? no....I AM a good nurse.....but how can I make things better with a difficult patient instead of curling up in the corner and sobbing bc I am exhausted after working 14 hour days......and then get screamed at by a pt and called every name in the book with visitors and staff watching. Guys, I am fed up....I love what I do ...but I dont know if I can keep doing this.
I'm not a nurse, yet, but I've run into situations like this occassionally and I've seen it happen to others more, so you have my complete empathy. It does suck, and our employers should do more to protect us.

I agree with others who've said you don't have to just suck it up. You do have a right to defend yourself. The trick is to do it without being defensive. Certainly, it can't be wrong to correct errors of fact/fabrications. You'd do that with a patient who was delusional or demented, why not with one who is merely nuts? And it seems reasonable to educate the pt. as to the services they can expect to receive during their stay, as well as what they should not expect. Also which behaviors of theirs are acceptable, and

which aren't.

I may be a naive student, here, but I also wonder if brushing up your therapeutic communication skills might be useful. It might help you remain objective, and you could end up actually helping this yutz.

But I do feel for ya, and good luck. (Also, bear in mind, she probably shops at Wal-Mart when she isn't in the hospital.)

Specializes in LPN.

Some people, no matter how theraputic your conversation is, will be NASTY.

My sister has physc problems, and she waits for the "sucker" who is new to her. It's like fresh meat to her. Can she make you cry. How long can she order you around, how many hoops will you jump.

She will be mean and controlling and manipulative to you no matter what your attitude and how much your prayed before you go in.

Yes, she also shops at Wallmart. I once followed her into a store, and I regret it to this day. She whistled at a clerk and threw things from the shelves at her when she didn't smile and courstey. I tried to tell her this person only makes $6. an hour, you shouldn't expect the world from her. Her reply, when she is here, I expect her to treat me like a queen.

In a medical ward, her expectations are higher. After all she figures, I pay an arm and a leg for this place. The nurse is the one who she extracts every last penny of her hard earned medicade out of.

Been there. Go home and take a long bath. Be glad that these pts aren't living in your home.

I have lived with her and grew up with her, be thankful. Be very thankful

I'm not a nurse, yet, but I've run into situations like this occassionally and I've seen it happen to others more, so you have my complete empathy. It does suck, and our employers should do more to protect us.

I agree with others who've said you don't have to just suck it up. You do have a right to defend yourself. The trick is to do it without being defensive. Certainly, it can't be wrong to correct errors of fact/fabrications. You'd do that with a patient who was delusional or demented, why not with one who is merely nuts? And it seems reasonable to educate the pt. as to the services they can expect to receive during their stay, as well as what they should not expect. Also which behaviors of theirs are acceptable, and

which aren't.

I may be a naive student, here, but I also wonder if brushing up your therapeutic communication skills might be useful. It might help you remain objective, and you could end up actually helping this yutz.

But I do feel for ya, and good luck. (Also, bear in mind, she probably shops at Wal-Mart when she isn't in the hospital.)

Is that a put-down of Walmart?

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