Judgements about big families

casper1 · Aug 18, 2005

I agree the doctor had no right to express his opinion to the mother. Its one thing to express an opinion to your coworkers but it entirely out of line for him to make judgement calls to the mom. I wonder why doctors often feel so free to express their opinions. I don't see nurses being as judgemental.

William_SRNA · Aug 18, 2005

We had an incident today at work that engendered quite alot of discussion. A mom was having her sixth c-section and seventh child. Throughout the case the anesthiesiologist was making comments to the mom about how this was plenty of kids and no one should want to have more than this, how it would be irresponsible of her to have more children (note he was not referring to the fact that she had so many c-sections and more pregnancies could be dangerous.
The nurse in the case talked to him afterwards saying she thought it was inappropriate for him to be making these judgemental statements to a patient. He responded that there was nothing wrong in giving his opinion to the patient. I asked if people thought it was okay to make judgemental statements to patients who had abortions. Everyone in the room immediately gasped no!! The opinions on the statements regarding the number of children were split about 50/50.. Why is it okay to make judgements about family size but abortion is taboo??? I personally think they both are off limits!!

If he was referring to her in a capacity of danger to herself I don't see aproblem with it.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Aug 18, 2005

about how this was plenty of kids and no one should want to have more than this, how it would be irresponsible of her to have more children (note he was not referring to the fact that she had so many c-sections and more pregnancies could be dangerous.

The quoted section above is the problem.

rn/writer, RN · Aug 18, 2005

If he was referring to her in a capacity of danger to herself I don't see aproblem with it.

Problem #1 The guy was an anesthesiologist who had known her for all of a half hour, not her OB who would be in a much better postion to evaluate her medical history.

Problem #2 She wasn't sitting across a desk from him, but rather was flat on her back with her guts hanging open.

Problem #3 So, who asked him anyway.

Miranda

EarthAngel · Aug 19, 2005

I recently had my 6th child. My first five children were taken from me by an abusive ex-husband from another country after I told him I wanted a divorce. Long story short: I came home from work one day, they weren't home, and I waited and they simply never came home. I never told my nurses my background, I am sure a few of them had opinions they were keeping to themselves.

No one person has the right to decide when another has had enough children. More importantly, we are taught to be non-judgemental in the health care field, because you dont a person's background based on their current medical diagnosis. How utterly unprofessional, disrespectful, and downright rude.

An excerpt from an essay I once wrote:

"And then there's the people that look at me and are amazed that I had the nerve to produce five children. They look at me with contempt and utter scorn for having been so selfish as to have brought five whole new people into an already over-populated world. Yes, I admit it now, the over-population of the world is entirely my fault. The world was going just fine until I had my children. Then all hell broke loose. Crude oil became scarce. The ozone layer was depleted. Endangered species died out. Ice caps melted and caused mass flooding throughout the world. I would like to take this moment to humbly apologize for single handedly over-burdening the world."

Oh.. and did I mention I'm the oldest of ten.....

allnurses Guide · Aug 19, 2005

I recently had my 6th child. My first five children were taken from me by an abusive ex-husband from another country after I told him I wanted a divorce. Long story short: I came home from work one day, they weren't home, and I waited and they simply never came home. I never told my nurses my background, I am sure a few of them had opinions they were keeping to themselves.
No one person has the right to decide when another has had enough children. More importantly, we are taught to be non-judgemental in the health care field, because you dont a person's background based on their current medical diagnosis. How utterly unprofessional, disrespectful, and downright rude.
An excerpt from an essay I once wrote:
"And then there's the people that look at me and are amazed that I had the nerve to produce five children. They look at me with contempt and utter scorn for having been so selfish as to have brought five whole new people into an already over-populated world. Yes, I admit it now, the over-population of the world is entirely my fault. The world was going just fine until I had my children. Then all hell broke loose. Crude oil became scarce. The ozone layer was depleted. Endangered species died out. Ice caps melted and caused mass flooding throughout the world. I would like to take this moment to humbly apologize for single handedly over-burdening the world."
Oh.. and did I mention I'm the oldest of ten.....

EarthAngel - I'm sorry about your situation. Were you able to get your kids back?

Have to say your essay is witty :)

steph

William_SRNA · Aug 19, 2005

Problem #1 The guy was an anesthesiologist who had known her for all of a half hour, not her OB who would be in a much better postion to evaluate her medical history.
Problem #2 She wasn't sitting across a desk from him, but rather was flat on her back with her guts hanging open.
Problem #3 So, who asked him anyway.
Miranda

1. the guy is a trained physician who has a lot more expereince than a nurse he might have been an OB at some point you have no clue.

2. what's your point

3. So you only talk to patients when they ask you specific questions.

happthearts · Aug 19, 2005

First off I am so sorry My heart achs for you . I have always looked at people with big families and wished I could have had more children. I also think that MD was out of line .I never make a comment either way when I worked in OB.I think people often know what they can handle . I probably would have stood right up and said something to that DR right after and been in hot water. I feel unless that PT made a comment like I don't want any more kids after this .

Then the doctor could have stepped in and said then if (that is your choice )lets make an appointment in the future. Its not his choice to say who has how many kids.

I often feel that Maybe it will be one of the children in this world who could turn it arround. That one parent will teach just the right things to help there children make a diffrence in this world.

Hey BTW 10 not big try 22 kids same mom and dad Not a single birth in the bunch all the older kids have become MD, lawyers and shuch I found there home clean and tidy .All her children from the youngest to oldest had a job in the family to help with the house . Can you imagane that MD who told the lady not to have kids would have fainted. Hearing about 22 kids.

They- be one child born in the world to carry on To carry on.

Happy

I recently had my 6th child. My first five children were taken from me by an abusive ex-husband from another country after I told him I wanted a divorce. Long story short: I came home from work one day, they weren't home, and I waited and they simply never came home. I never told my nurses my background, I am sure a few of them had opinions they were keeping to themselves.
No one person has the right to decide when another has had enough children. More importantly, we are taught to be non-judgemental in the health care field, because you dont a person's background based on their current medical diagnosis. How utterly unprofessional, disrespectful, and downright rude.
An excerpt from an essay I once wrote:
"And then there's the people that look at me and are amazed that I had the nerve to produce five children. They look at me with contempt and utter scorn for having been so selfish as to have brought five whole new people into an already over-populated world. Yes, I admit it now, the over-population of the world is entirely my fault. The world was going just fine until I had my children. Then all hell broke loose. Crude oil became scarce. The ozone layer was depleted. Endangered species died out. Ice caps melted and caused mass flooding throughout the world. I would like to take this moment to humbly apologize for single handedly over-burdening the world."
Oh.. and did I mention I'm the oldest of ten.....

boopchick · Aug 19, 2005

Personal opinions DO NOT belong at the bedside! How unprofessional and rude! That poor woman!

RNin2007 · Aug 19, 2005

We had an incident today at work that engendered quite alot of discussion. A mom was having her sixth c-section and seventh child. Throughout the case the anesthiesiologist was making comments to the mom about how this was plenty of kids and no one should want to have more than this, how it would be irresponsible of her to have more children (note he was not referring to the fact that she had so many c-sections and more pregnancies could be dangerous.
The nurse in the case talked to him afterwards saying she thought it was inappropriate for him to be making these judgemental statements to a patient. He responded that there was nothing wrong in giving his opinion to the patient. I asked if people thought it was okay to make judgemental statements to patients who had abortions. Everyone in the room immediately gasped no!! The opinions on the statements regarding the number of children were split about 50/50.. Why is it okay to make judgements about family size but abortion is taboo??? I personally think they both are off limits!!

Does this doc know her reasons for having a big family? Does it personally impact him? Is it truly any of his business? I have a friend who has 6 biological children and has adopted 4 others. Two of the children she first adopted turned out to have FAS (Fetal Alc. Syndrome)...not known to her when she adopted them b/c they came from Russia. Her youngest biological child was a 23 week preemie and has severe CP. She also adopted another child as an infant and later found out she was deaf. And their latest addition is a Guatamalan baby girl, who is now 2. Their children are the light of their life...these are very blessed kids, with a hardworking dad and a mom who finds pleasure in staying home with them to raise them. These are some of the happiest, well-adjusted kids I know.

Who is this doc to judge what is important in life to this woman? Sheesh. To each their own and that is not for us to judge. Not to mention highly inappropriate to discuss this with her in a room full of people. This is as tacky as the overbearing mother in law (or mother) telling their child how to take care of a new baby...some advice is just unwanted.

~J

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Aug 19, 2005

1. the guy is a trained physician who has a lot more expereince than a nurse he might have been an OB at some point you have no clue.
2. what's your point
3. So you only talk to patients when they ask you specific questions.

1) Chances are the OB was more familiar with her history, since she might have been going to him for awhile. (I'll ignore the "no clue" remark).

2) The point is, the doc took it upon himself to give his personal opinion about families, not his professional one.

3) Once again, the doc took it upon himself to give his personal opinion, not his professional one.

kea6783 · Aug 19, 2005

Have an opinion bout a pt? I say ZIP IT.