Judgements about big families

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We had an incident today at work that engendered quite alot of discussion. A mom was having her sixth c-section and seventh child. Throughout the case the anesthiesiologist was making comments to the mom about how this was plenty of kids and no one should want to have more than this, how it would be irresponsible of her to have more children (note he was not referring to the fact that she had so many c-sections and more pregnancies could be dangerous.

The nurse in the case talked to him afterwards saying she thought it was inappropriate for him to be making these judgemental statements to a patient. He responded that there was nothing wrong in giving his opinion to the patient. I asked if people thought it was okay to make judgemental statements to patients who had abortions. Everyone in the room immediately gasped no!! The opinions on the statements regarding the number of children were split about 50/50.. Why is it okay to make judgements about family size but abortion is taboo??? I personally think they both are off limits!!

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We had an incident today at work that engendered quite alot of discussion. A mom was having her sixth c-section and seventh child. Throughout the case the anesthiesiologist was making comments to the mom about how this was plenty of kids and no one should want to have more than this, how it would be irresponsible of her to have more children (note he was not referring to the fact that she had so many c-sections and more pregnancies could be dangerous.

The nurse in the case talked to him afterwards saying she thought it was inappropriate for him to be making these judgemental statements to a patient. He responded that there was nothing wrong in giving his opinion to the patient. I asked if people thought it was okay to make judgemental statements to patients who had abortions. Everyone in the room immediately gasped no!! The opinions on the statements regarding the number of children were split about 50/50.. Why is it okay to make judgements about family size but abortion is taboo??? I personally think they both are off limits!!

I think he was totally out of line. It would be one thing for the OB, who already has an established relationship with the patient, to address the medical aspects of future pgs. at the post-partum visit. But that dr. was totally out of line--was this during the c-section? I tell you, I would have been livid if while I was anxiously awaiting the birth of my child the dr. chose to force his views on family size down my throat. What if a pt. had made an informed and educated decision to have a tubal ligation after say her 2nd c-section--can you imagine the anesthiesiologist telling her that she shouldn't have the tubal? It is none of his business. And even if it was, that is *not* the time to discuss it.

Shannon

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Specializes in Utilization Management.

And I agree.

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Personal opinions have no place at the bedside. I do think this woman should be VERY well educated about the risks involved with another pregnancy, but only she gets to make that decision.

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I was suprised at how many of my co-workers didn't see this as wrong!

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The anesthesiologist felt it was appropriate to make statements concerning HIS belief about whether or not this woman should have more children??? :uhoh3:

Absolutely inappropriate. Who does this guy think he is???

This is a discusssion that should take place between this woman's GYN and herself, excluding unsolicited third party opinions.

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Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

In the kind of diverse world we live in he should reserve his opinions away from the beside or work period.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatrics.

You're right; that was completely inappropriate. I'm curious, how did the patient seem to receive this person's comments?

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Wow...what does he possibly know about her? The average preop for an MDA takes 10 minutes- he was not only able to find out her medical hx and ASA status but also her financial history, social support system, extended and immediate family dynamics, etc in that short time! Super doctor! I'd feel uncomfortable making that judgement about a pt (even silently to myself) in some or maybe even many instances if I was the postpartum/couplet nurse and had 2 whole shifts to get to know them. I've seen (I'm sure I can speak for every nurse in every specialty here) great parents who gave quality individual and group time to each of many kids and parents who aren't capable of taking care of one hermit crab much less their only child. A lot of factors come into the equation!

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

He was totally inappropriate and unprofessional and I would not be afraid to tell him so.

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Specializes in Gerontological Nursing, Acute Rehab.

Well, I can tell you that that Dr would have gotten an earful from my hubby if that ever happened to me. Unbelievable...and yet, I'm sure there won't be any "follow up" from TPTB.

Reminds me of my one sister, who has told the whole family that she has the right to say what she wants, whenever she wants to, if SHE thinks someone is doing something wrong.

Unfortunately, that mindset has cost her a relationship with her sisters....

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Count me in as one who thinks he was totally WRONG. He has no right to offer any kind of opinion, unless asked, which I highly doubt.

I was just the nurse with a couple who were having their 8th child. Their oldest was 23 and the youngest was 5 (well, now their youngest is a newborn).

We talked about the joys they have being the parents of so many kids and they love their life.

People who spout their unwanted and unasked-for opinions need to take a class on manners.

This just reminds me of when I was pregnant with my last child at 43 . . . . I was admittedly scared because we had not planned it but a "friend" of mine walked up to me when she found out and said in a loud voice, full of horror "I'd commit suicide if I was pregnant at 43!".

So far the concensus here on allnurses is your co-worker was out of line.

I'm surprised that more folks where you work don't think he was out of line too.

steph

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