Is This Behavior Inappropriate?

Nurses General Nursing

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I'm a new night shift nurse at a large hospital, I've been there a year, but I took time off to raise kids so I'm older. I've told the following story to my husband over the past year, and he thinks this is bullying behavior. I would like opinions.

When I first began, I learned that all new nurses were to orient on day shift. I was placed with a preceptor who I could tell right off the bat didn't click with me. She was loud, overbearing, sarcastic, snarky, and talked about other nurses. She had me just watch her for the first two weeks, never showing me where anything is or how to contact anyone or how to organize my time. I requested from management to be placed with someone else. They told me this person "just has a big personality," and to stick with it because there was no one else. This behavior continued for the next two weeks at which time she decided she would point out my mistakes loudly, and in front of doctors, nurses, patients, and patients' families (basically in public) - although these were not huge mistakes at all: ordering supplies, back priming, flushing with the 10cc saline flushes and not the 5cc flushes, just dumb things. I went to management again and told them I couldn't learn to swim by being thrown into the deep end, and didn't appreciate being publicly humiliated. Again they told me the same thing, "She's just loud, and she can be intimidating, but you can do this." But in addition, they also told me I needed more orientation because I didn't have great time management skills yet (even though I asked for help). So I was done with her after six weeks, but she had already warned night shift people and gave me a reputation. On night shift orientation I bloomed. I had several different preceptors who told me, "You AREN'T unteachable," and "You really CAN make it," because clearly they heard otherwise. Management told me I had come full circle and succeeded. OK, I thought I was done with this person.

When I would find myself coming on nights right after her day shift, I would notice the assignments would be incredibly high in patient acuity in relation to my skills: starting one week off orientation and I was given an inordinate amount of contact patients, or neutropenic patients, plus several incontinent patients. Anyway, many times during my first six months off orientation my assignment was changed by other nurses because they saw them as inappropriate for someone so new. This happened frequently, and the last time it happened she simply said, "The assignment is this assignment and that's that." I've been there a year now, and she still tries to stick me with the most difficult patients. People would just roll their eyes. When I asked what is wrong with this person, they just say, "She likes control." OK, I'd just do my job and be safe about it with no complaints, and I didn't say anything to management or anyone else because I didn't want to be a complainer. My attitude was, "You're going to throw this my way and I'm still going to succeed despite you."

So two weeks ago, I had a family situation that necessitated me leaving at 7:15 am instead of 7:30 am. This was planned ahead of time and I spoke to all of the nurses on night shift to tell them what was going on, and they had no problem with it. Many nurses leave right after giving report anyway. There is no official policy stating I had to wait until 7:30 before I could leave. I made sure I had all my tasks done, all my charting done, absolutely everything but report done. This nurse was coming on that day, and I asked her if I could give report to her right away because I had urgent family business and needed to leave 15 minutes early. I got a "mmm" out of her. She decided to go talk to her friends for a while in between reports, then she came back and I asked her again, then she went to the break room in between report, and finally she came to me and it was 7:25. I told her I needed to get out of there urgently. She told me, "Uh-uh, 7:30 sister, 7:30." Long story short, I was late, and it had consequences on my family situation that I'm trying to deal with even as late as this week. My husband was absolutely furious and told me to go to management. I emailed my boss, no answer. I texted my boss, no answer. Totally ignored. I get that we are supposed to fight our own battles, but when this behavior has continued for a whole year and no one calls her on this because she is loud and popular with a few people (others are afraid to confront her), what am I supposed to do? I'm not overly sensitive, I'm not a whiner/complainer, and I've been around the block a few times. In the non-working world I wouldn't let this fly, but I don't want to lose a hard-to-get job. Opinions?

Specializes in Infection Prevention, Public Health.

I have mixed feelings on this one. If you need to leave early get approval through whatever your supervisory chain of command is. Then when Nurse Toxic acts up you can simply TELL her you are leaving at 7:15 and if she has concerns, she can take it up with your supervisor.

if Nurse Toxic IS your supervisor, then things are really bleak and you should get out ASAP. If she is assigning patients to you, then she is at least charge nurse.

As to leaving your job, you need to consider the job market. Give 4 weeks notice and don't burn bridges. Ask your colleagues if you may use them as professional references and write down their non-work contact information.

If there is a next time where you have to leave early and she has any of your patients, leave her a written report then follow it up with a phone call for questions she may have. I would not give her your phone number.

As long as someone is watching your patients until she assumes care, they are being covered.

Before you leave, be sure you already have another job. Good luck. You have shown patience and tolerance and until someone stands up to this nurse, she is running the show. Management is just another one of her pawns.

Specializes in Oncology.

If she was not in charge that day you could have always tried saying, "I am leaving at 7:15 today as discussed with *supervisor who approved it name.* If you're not ready for report now, I'll give it to the charge nurse, and you can get report from her later when you're ready." Best said with a smile on your face as sincere as you can muster. Best said if you have written approval to leave early.

Well, as lovely as she sounds, I don't think it was her problem that you had to leave early that day. The person who told you it was OK to leave should have watched your patients, given report to the oncoming nurse and sent you on your merry way. Alternately, arrangements could have been made ahead of time for an earlier report. I've had day shifters ask me to come in a little early on occasion. I've never had anyone surprise me with the fact that they needed to leave early, though (although I'd probably try to help out if I could).

The latest issue aside, how are you coping with everything she's throwing at you, patient assignment wise?

Are you sinking?

Growing and flourishing?

Otherwise supported by coworkers and mgmt?

They let her get away with crap but are they riding you all the time or praising your work?

Is there anything you can gain by staying any longer?

Will you be a more marketable nurse if you make it another year?

A stronger confident nurse?

Hmmm... Touchy subject. I'll throw in my weight on the side of the take it up the ladder approach. Since you haven't heard from management, email your HR rep. Do it all in writing and keep it objective.

Also, don't forget that you have just as much personal power as your bully does. I agree with the earlier poster who said to tell her you're leaving at 7:15 and if she isn't ready for report, hand her an SBAR and walk out.

Written report is still report. Call back a few minutes later and see if she has questions.

Another option is to confront her every time she is a jerk. I do it all the time. "You're being really hostile and I don't appreciate it when you..." Mostly they splutter and knock it off.

Every once in a while you get one who will run to management and try to turn it around on you, but that's pretty easy to deal with if you remain calm and tell the truth.

If you don't want to go to the trouble of reporting and aren't good with confrontation, your best bet would be to transfer.

you reported this person and she will never get over it, so don't expect things to get better. you are being treated badly from the top down, start looking for something else before she has you blowing up and ruining things for yourself. by sticking around you are playing into her hands which is what she wants. your family needs come first including any damage this does to your marriage, believe me it will take a toll.

you reported this person and she will never get over it, so don't expect things to get better. you are being treated badly from the top down, start looking for something else before she has you blowing up and ruining things for yourself. by sticking around you are playing into her hands which is what she wants. your family needs come first including any damage this does to your marriage, believe me it will take a toll.

Yep...if the OP thought the other nurse was out to get her before, I have a feeling it's going to get much worse.

Specializes in Family Practice.

I'm surprised people are giving you heat about "leaving early". Does day shift not clock in at 7 am? 7-7:30 is time to get report, time for day shift to line their ducks in a row for that shift. It is not time to socialize and drink coffee and wait until the last moment to get report. Once you give report, you should be able to clock out.

This person sounds awful and you have two choices. 1.) Leave or 2.) Just plainly say, nurse X, I will not deal with your unprofessional behavior any longer. If you continue, I will have to lodge a complaint with human resources. Maybe she'll back down if you show her you're not willing to put up with it.

Specializes in Neuro/ ENT.

I agree with just about everything I have read here. I do have one question, though. Before the very first time you went to management to request getting a different person to train you, did you ever try approaching her one on one and try to figure out what was going on? Have you in the last year even after finishing training with her, tried speaking with her in a neutral tone with the purposes of figuring out where the root of her issue with you lies, and if there is a possible way to resolve said issue?

Specializes in Neuro/ ENT.
This person sounds awful and you have two choices. 1.) Leave or 2.) Just plainly say, nurse X, I will not deal with your unprofessional behavior any longer. If you continue, I will have to lodge a complaint with human resources. Maybe she'll back down if you show her you're not willing to put up with it.

I don't think threatening to report this type of personality will do any good. It would likely add fuel to the fire. I'm just saying different personality types should be handled differently.... Not all fire is the same. You put a wood fire out with water, but if you throw water on an oil fire... LOOK OUT! you need a different means for the oil fire.

Each time she tries to intimidate or harass you, take her aside and tell her firmly just why it isn't acceptable. Just like you'd tell your child if s/he misbehaved. Be the calm adult in the situation, look her in the eye and watch her squirm. It gets more fun with practice.

Exactly! I've gotten pretty good at this, myself, and it is so much more effective than yelling or stooping to their level.

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