I am an optimist. I try to see the good and positive in all situations. I work with a crowd that seems to be the opposite and today I realized it's starting to get me down. I came in this morning and was asked a question by the noc nurse, but when I tried to answer it I was interrupted with complaints. I was asked a question by my day partner, same thing happened. I hear them griping to each other about all kinds of things.
These people have no idea how good they have it here. I used to work at another facility in a very toxic environment, and in comparison this place is heaven. The other two nurses have never worked anywhere else. I feel like telling them "If this place is so bad, go elsewhere!"
I'm tired of the negativity. Today I'm distancing myself from the others. I gotta do that sometimes or I'll start getting grumpy and yell.
I always try to be kind, considerate, and respectful to my patients. I've been known to dance for my patients amusement and love to joke with them. But I know I am not the whole heartedly optimistic person I used to be, just given some very hard personal events in my life. I would say try not to judge these nurses. There might be more to their story then just their career getting them down. Treat them like your patients- with compassion and respect, but maintain your distance as far as an emotional involvement. And also realize sp? that a positive outlook can be contagious as well. I once had a colleague that lifted my spirits as soon as she walked through the door, with her sunny, positive nature. Everyone around her would instantly smile. Don't change!
It scares me that kindess offends or throws people off!
This is so true. It's like, people don't know what to do with kindness. Hostility they understand and can handle but kindness is something that's out of their range and they are looking for something sinister lurking underneath.
When I was a more positive person, gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, and always looked on the positive side of a situation on the unit where I was working, I was accused of being "naive" and ignorant of the "real world." Well, after awhile, I began wondering if they were right and I was wrong. But later, one of the nurses who said those things about me told me that she had always been jealous of my attitude and often wondered how I could be so positive and happy when I was dealing with so many stressful situations in my personal life at that time (chronically ill spouse, young children, limited income, etc). She said she always thought that if I could have a positive attitude anybody could.
I was not always a positive person. My mom is very negative and always has been, and I grew up like her. In high school a classmate once asked me "Why do you always complain so much?" I started being more careful at that point. Then, many years later, I went into recovery and changed even more. I've experienced the negative and at that point I decided to refuse to allow the negative to take over my life anymore.
Specializes in UR/PA, Hematology/Oncology, Med Surg, Psych.
To be honest, I tend to lean toward the pessimistic side and really, really try very hard to temper natural self. Like the poster that said she is becoming her mother (although her mother was optimistic,) my mother is EXTREMELY negative. Heck, she is off the chart! I am trying to have a more positive outlook and not end up like her, but sometimes the constant cheerfulness makes me feel so phoney. So please be patient with your 'dark side' leaning co-workers, they are fighting their own natures and demons.
I am the one at work people always say that has a smile on her face. Even when things are very stressful, I'm laughing about it cause thats just the way I deal with stress most of the time.
Now I hope I wont sound like a downer, but I see my self as an realist, but still with a positive attitude, I smile when I come to work, and I generally dont complain, but I hate working with people who are way too happy. Like over the top fake happy, I just find it plain annoying. But on the other end, I dont like working with complainers either. Im a pretty laid back person, and will only complain if something really bothers me, but otherwise, I just let it roll off my back if theres negativity.
Now I hope I wont sound like a downer, but I see my self as an realist, but still with a positive attitude, I smile when I come to work, and I generally dont complain, but I hate working with people who are way too happy. Like over the top fake happy, I just find it plain annoying. But on the other end, I dont like working with complainers either. Im a pretty laid back person, and will only complain if something really bothers me, but otherwise, I just let it roll off my back if theres negativity.
Cher
I totally agree with you on this. My example of the fake "way too happy" thing is Safeway. On the rare occasion that I have to go there at 0600 for milk because I don't have any and I need some for that mocha at home, everybody in the store is so fake perky you just know it is mandated by the powers that be. Not unlike those crappy little scripted things they are trying to shove down our throats too. Don't they know that most of the general public KNOW when you are saying something you are told to say instead of saying it because you genuinely feel it?
Back to Safeway: I would think that at least one of those people would be able to "read" my body language and realize that I do not want to make conversation and that I am not particularly awake just yet, or even happy about being there. Just take my money, give me the milk and we'll all be better off.
I hate working with people who are way too happy. Like over the top fake happy, I just find it plain annoying.
Cher
I'm like you. I'm not smiling all the time and I'm not perky. I'm just optimistic and try to see the positive in everything/everyone.
Back to Safeway: I would think that at least one of those people would be able to "read" my body language and realize that I do not want to make conversation and that I am not particularly awake just yet, or even happy about being there. Just take my money, give me the milk and we'll all be better off.
One of the reasons I don't shop Safeway unless I have no choice. My hubs and son work for another grocery chain. My daughter works for Safeway in another town because it's the only chain there. She hates it and wishes that the guys' chain had a store in her town.
Now I hope I wont sound like a downer, but I see my self as an realist, but still with a positive attitude, I smile when I come to work, and I generally dont complain, but I hate working with people who are way too happy. Like over the top fake happy, I just find it plain annoying. But on the other end, I dont like working with complainers either. Im a pretty laid back person, and will only complain if something really bothers me, but otherwise, I just let it roll off my back if theres negativity.
Cher
You just described me in a nutshell. I almost hate to admit it, but shiney happy over the top giggly happy people annoy me, but it's true. The opposite end of the spectrum annoys me too.
I compalin when it's something that needs change and I have the power to change. Whining and complaining by nature isn't me and I'm very laid back.
MomNRN, BSN, RN
316 Posts
I am one of those perky, optimistic types also. I know sometimes the night-shifters just cringe when I come in at 0700 saying "Good Morning."
I think I have become my mother. She has been eternally perky and it used to annoy the living he*& out of me!
It is too much work to be crabby. I do my share, trust me, but I have found life is easier when you are happier.