I'm too sensitive, says my husband

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Apr 29, 2015

You will have to develop a thick skin because there will be death & irritable family members. Even nurses who have been working for awhile still get emotional from a patient passing but you can't let a family member get to you all the time. There are people you just can't please no matter what you do. If nursing is what you want to do, then do it just learn to grown thick skin.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Apr 30, 2015

You will have to develop a thick skin because there will be death & irritable family members. Even nurses who have been working for awhile still get emotional from a patient passing but you can't let a family member get to you all the time. There are people you just can't please no matter what you do. If nursing is what you want to do, then do it just learn to grown thick skin.

THIS.

I think you will have to go through it to get that thick skin; I think you will have to find ways to develop your thick skin-I don't have any suggestions because I had somewhat of a thick skin prior to working in healthcare, and learned a few tweaking lessons on how I wanted to be treated and what I wasn't going to take, and then I learned how to hone soft skills in order to handle challenging patients, families, and even peers; I had to do it my way.

You knew your weaknesses; you can turn them into strengths; best wishes.

HisKids37 · Apr 30, 2015

I'm very sensitive too, but you really do learn to temper your emotions. First semester, I would agonize over how was this patient or that one doing. I wondered how nurses every emotionally survived, wondering and wondering how their patients were. Well, I'm only in 3rd semester and already I just don't get as worked up. I care, and I think about some patients, but they don't occupy an inordinate amount of my mental energy any more. You really do just get used to seeing things, I guess. Let your sensitivity be an asset!

mbtsab · Apr 30, 2015

thanks everyone for the feedback---I work in the medical field, just not clinical, I am constantly thinking about my patients when I go home---again thanks everyone

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Apr 30, 2015

"Compartmentalization" is an essential characteristic for successful clinicians. Basically, we have to maintain emotional distance in order to perform our jobs effectively. Visualize a nurse freaking out and bursting into hysterical tears rather than calling a code after coming upon an unresponsive patient.....

Our jobs are about THEM (patients) not about US. We have to learn to treat our patients AS IF they are family... not AS family. Do you see the difference? If you can't, your nursing career can turn into be a never-ending codependent nightmare. It's challenging because Our jobs include emotional labor. We deal with patients/families experiencing all sorts of extreme emotions. Sometimes, we have to deliberately elicit emotions from our patients - e.g., L&D nurse helping a laboring mom calm down enough to focus on instructions. But in order to remain emotionally whole, we have to maintain professional boundaries.

NurseBulldog · Apr 30, 2015

At home I cry at everything, but when you get me to work I'm completely different. It's sort of like putting your game face on and it's something you'll learn, or it may come naturally to you.

That compassion you have though is a brilliant thing so don't harden too much, enough for your own sanity and professionalism but not so much you become cold and stoic.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Apr 30, 2015

"Compartmentalization" is an essential characteristic for successful clinicians. Basically, we have to maintain emotional distance in order to perform our jobs effectively. Visualize a nurse freaking out and bursting into hysterical tears rather than calling a code after coming upon an unresponsive patient.....
Our jobs are about THEM (patients) not about US. We have to learn to treat our patients AS IF they are family... not AS family. Do you see the difference? If you can't, your nursing career can turn into be a never-ending codependent nightmare. It's challenging because Our jobs include emotional labor. We deal with patients/families experiencing all sorts of extreme emotions. Sometimes, we have to deliberately elicit emotions from our patients - e.g., L&D nurse helping a laboring mom calm down enough to focus on instructions. But in order to remain emotionally whole, we have to maintain professional boundaries.

I agree with this 100%. You have to learn to separate things in your brain. I got to attend an autopsy about a month ago. The only way I could do it and learn was to compartmentalize it. I had to not look at this person as a dead human being. I had to look at it as a medical process. I have to do that in clinical too. You will see things that will absolutely break your heart. Pretty much every day. At first I wanted to fix everyone and take them home with me. But I learned to be a nurse without personally fixing everyone the way I think they should be fixed. It's about how the nursing process can fix this person at this moment. Not how I as a person should think they should be fixed. In my opinion it's a learned process.

Dranger · Apr 30, 2015

You'll get to a point where you code a patient for 20 min, they die, and you go get lunch after.

That unhealthy emotion will fade.

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Apr 30, 2015

When you walk barefoot a lot in the summer, the soles of your feet thicken as the weeks go by. When you are learning to play a string instrument, your fingertips thicken.

When you are in nursing school, you are also gradually acquiring a thicker skin. All you have to do is be aware that it's happening-- it's part of the process of becoming a nurse. It doesn't mean you become heartless or uncaring. It means you learn, as you must, how to set interpersonal boundaries to recognize what is about you and what really isn't, to protect yourself so you can be of use to others.

And as an aside, if your husband makes a habit of telling you what to do and discouraging you from your heart's desire, think long and hard about how to tell him to back off.

mbtsab · May 1, 2015

Thanks everyone---side note--my husband only said dental hygienist because I had been considering that at one point---I like the analogy of walking barefooted and playing the musical instrument, that's a great way of looking at it

amoLucia · May 1, 2015

Hey, I don't think dental hygienist is such a bad idea. Seriously.

Nursing today is tough. educationally and then professionally (and I'm not even talking about getting that first job with only an ADN - might be a bit tough). Don't know what the job market is for hygienists, but there's a place for them. Schooling is pretty much time same for the. The pay isn't bad. No holidays, maaaaaybe an occ Saturday weekend. Dental offices DO close for bad weather. I don't think you get so much nasty family issues. If you get into a good practice, those staff are there for a long time.

At one time, I thought of a possible change. But I'd have had to been a lot more skinnier to fit in the close quarters they work - the only downer I saw. :cheeky: