I'm in a Quandary

[Hooligan]

A little history...I am an RN and worked as an adult med/surg and pediatric nurse part-time for a little over 5 years. Almost 4 years ago, my hospital did a mandatory switch to 12 hour shifts and I was always a 3-11 girl since it worked out well for my family at the time. The kids were younger at the time, and one was just entering pre-school and working a 12 hour shift on either end was not conducive to our family life. My husband's job requires night time on-call once a month and he needs to be able to leave at any given time. We need a bit more stability and home front coverage than 12 hour shifts can provide.

At this same time though, as if by some divine intervention I was contacted by my local high school asking if I'd be interested in teaching Anatomy & Physiology and Medical Terminology for their Career and Technical Education program. I thought I was in heaven! No more weekends or holidays, summer break with my kids and if there was a snow day, no worries! I work in the same district they attend so absolutely no impromptu childcare needed. Everything sounded great!

The pay was not ideal, but I justified that thinking that I made about the same working part-time as a nurse as I would if I considered my summers off as part-time work and the pay schedule based on years of service and education would eventually "catch up" in the pay department. The thing is, our district has been experiencing budget cuts and I have only received one raise after my first year and I'm now finishing my 4th year of teaching and still only making what a 2nd year teacher would make. I have been assured that my position is safe and is not on the chopping block...unlike our unfortunate culinary teacher who has been cut and will not be returning next year.

What I did not anticipate was the sheer overload of after school work during the school year! My God! I had no idea how much uncompensated, extra work teachers do at home in addition to what they do in the classroom! I never cried in nursing...this job brought me to tears from just utter exhaustion and the transition from nursing to teaching was rough. When I got to the school, there was no program in place and I was making everything from scratch. Hours upon hours of making PowerPoints, work sheets, and studying. I had to relearn in great detail a lot of the A&P I hadn't reviewed since nursing school so that I could effectively teach the material in a way that high school students could understand. Needless to say, much of that has improved and I am a very good teacher. My frustration comes from being so sorely underpaid for the amount of BS I have to do. Also, if the current referendum doesn't pass for extra funding to pay the teachers, I'm looking at not getting a raise in the near future.

My students are driving me crazy as well...perhaps it's just this year, but I feel as though the kids are getting worse and worse. They have no drive, don't want to study, and can't manage to stay off their frickin' cell phones and are not punished adequately for using them. They are becoming increasing disrespectful and argumentative and again, for the pay, I question if it's all worth it?!? It's not just me either...all of the teachers are complaining about the students and about how this particular group is just awful but according to the middle school, the next group is going to be worse! Don't get me wrong, the kids aren't juvenile delinquents or anything, but they are coddled in a way like I have never experienced before. They are not disciplined at home or at school and it is apparent by their unwillingness to do their work. They expect you just to crank open their skulls and pour the knowledge in like soup from a can. I have a handful of students who I'm very fond of and I feel as though I would be letting those kids down, but bottom line I have to do what is best for myself and my family. The problem is though, that I'm not sure what "the best" really is.

To further complicate things, I was recently diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy and was unable to drive for several months. During this time, the school librarian picked me up every day and drove me to work. I work with great people, and I live only about 5 miles from the school and the school is a pretty small school with a small-town feel, which I love. If I went back to nursing, what happens if I have another seizure and can't drive again? This situation only complicates things. On the plus side, my own children will attend high school there and I like knowing that I'm part of the community and making a difference on that level. I like seeing my students at the store, and get a kick out of seeing them at their after school jobs when my family and I are out. The overall scheduling works well for the family, but the day to day demands of the job are taking a toll. I used to be the mom who would plan special birthday parties for my girls, sew their Halloween costumes, and make their lunches. I haven't attended a field trip or been able to be room-mom or do any of the things I want to do for my own kids. With nursing I was able to do that. Granted, I missed out on every other Holiday and missed out on every other summer weekend which worked when they were small and didn't realize that Santa came on a certain day. I just honestly don't know what to do. I also find that I get resentful towards my students when they complain about doing activities for class that I took time away from my family to create/plan for them! Ugh...I just don't know...I do feel though that I need to make a decision soon. I've been off the floor for 4 years, and each year I stay away, I lose my marketability in the nursing field. I have thought about going back to nursing part time and taking an online FNP program through Simmons College and just moving on in nursing, but then I just keep thinking, what if I regret leaving the teaching gig...maybe it's just a bad year...maybe things will get better...

My husband is no help whatsoever. He is supportive of whatever decision I make God bless him! He would welcome more pay, of course, but bottom line, he just wants me to be happy. Unfortunately, the only time I'm happy is during the summer when I'm spending time with my kids. I hate the hustle and bustle of the school year and I feel like I miss out on so much! I feel like I had a better work-life balance in nursing even if the scheduling was erratic.

I feel as though I have gone from one marginalized career into the next. What's next?...Social work? Anyway, I realize this post is just one long pity post...so I apologize for that...but does anybody have any thoughts?

[lovinglife2015]

O please. What a ridiculous reply. I don't consider clean water and a job something to be thankful for in a first world country. These should be rights, not something to praise a phantom in the sky for.

Put down the Karl Marx pamphlet for minute. No one has a "right" to a job. A job is earned through education and experience or having the knowledge, talent and ability to create your own business --and even that can fail. There are no guarantees in life.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

If this is a required course for some students, or they need to have a minimum grade in it, then you have a whip hand.

(Big smile for first day of class) "Who owns a cell phone? Hold them, up please! Excellent! Wow, 18 (or whatever-- count!!) of you! Now, since we are in an important class, there will be no cell phone use in this room. Every time you enter this classroom you will turn your phone off and place it in this basket. If I don't have every cell phone in the basket by three minutes past the hour with everyone in their seat, everyone will be marked absent and receive a zero grade for the day (peer pressure! This will work well to have them enforce this). You'll pick them up at the end of the hour. Thank you."

There will be incredulous p***ing and moaning. Ignore it completely. You will get calls from angry parents. Explain calmly. "Since some students chose to be disrespectful of everyone's time in class by being on their phones, texting/facebook/instagram/candy crush/etc., the only fair thing is to collect all phones during my class. Since surely your child wasn't one of them, and the phone would be back in his/her hands in 50 minutes, you can agree that it shouldn't inconvenience him/her in any way. Whatever it is, it can surely wait that long, don't you agree? Of course if there is any emergency and you can't get through to a student during class hours, you should call the school office at xxx-xxx-xxxx (have that number handy for these calls!) and your student will be contacted immediately."

If you really want to do something for the public health in the building, run this plan past the rest of the faculty and get them to do it too. They will probably kiss your feet. You'll have to give a heads-up to the school secretary who will be fielding the calls from the parents; tell her to take numbers and you will call them back. I can promise you you'll only have to call them once. Optimally, your principal should have enough guts to make it a school policy, send / email home a notice the first day of school that the policy will be in effect beginning next Monday, and that's it.

I agree on the third-+ year makes it easier. Same lessons, same slides, just make the quizzes different so there's no saving them from last year. Personally, I favored handing out "note taking outlines," where the headers were on the sheet but the actual facts had to be added in by the student. Kept them busy, and I didn't have to do all their work for them (I love the can of soup visual). I also threw in random slides of cartoons, scenic vistas from far away places, little things, sometimes with applicability ("This is the Mona Lisa, painted by Leonardo da Vinci, who also did these beautiful anatomical studies of the shoulder that we are going to see today," for example) about once a week to keep them awake.

Hang in, summer is almost here. :)

[Altra, BSN, RN]

I'm struck by your expression of some of the intangibles in this job - your sense of belonging in the community, etc. Please consider carefully before giving up those things. While you still have children at home, perks like summers and holidays can be priceless.

Longer term, this educational experience could propel you in a different nursing direction that might not otherwise have been available to you if your resume consisted solely of staff nurse positions.

My social circle includes several teachers, at different experience/career levels, who teach in different settings ... and there is not one of them who is not counting down the minutes until the end of the school year at this point. It's an annual cycle.

Here's hoping you'll take the summer to refresh and recharge. Good luck to you!

[MassED, BSN, RN]

Have you considered being a school nurse?

that's not much more money - I sub as a school nurse, which is more than the full-time ones make.

OP, what about per Diem somewhere, picking up more time in the summer?

[MassED, BSN, RN]

Just quit then. If you hate the job, but you keep doing it then your decision is made. And using terms like "they have no drive" is a generalization and devalues any point you are trying to make. And "unpaid" time...Are you in the classroom 40 hours a week? Being a teacher isn't just when you are standing in front of a classroom.

The bottom line is if you are miserable then quit. What exactly do you want people to say? You talk about God in your pos...well maybe be appreciative of every single day and appreciate the fact that you are not living in poverty and have clean water and food and a roof over your head. All your complaints are things that only you can change. No one else. Make a decision then stop complaining and just do it.

alright, slow your roll. No need to get irritated with the OP.

[Farawyn]

If this is a required course for some students, or they need to have a minimum grade in it, then you have a whip hand.

(Big smile for first day of class) "Who owns a cell phone? Hold them, up please! Excellent! Wow, 18 (or whatever-- count!!) of you! Now, since we are in an important class, there will be no cell phone use in this room. Every time you enter this classroom you will turn your phone off and place it in this basket. If I don't have every cell phone in the basket by three minutes past the hour with everyone in their seat, everyone will be marked absent and receive a zero grade for the day (peer pressure! This will work well to have them enforce this). You'll pick them up at the end of the hour. Thank you."

There will be incredulous p***ing and moaning. Ignore it completely. You will get calls from angry parents. Explain calmly. "Since some students chose to be disrespectful of everyone's time in class by being on their phones, texting/facebook/instagram/candy crush/etc., the only fair thing is to collect all phones during my class. Since surely your child wasn't one of them, and the phone would be back in his/her hands in 50 minutes, you can agree that it shouldn't inconvenience him/her in any way. Whatever it is, it can surely wait that long, don't you agree? Of course if there is any emergency and you can't get through to a student during class hours, you should call the school office at xxx-xxx-xxxx (have that number handy for these calls!) and your student will be contacted immediately."

If you really want to do something for the public health in the building, run this plan past the rest of the faculty and get them to do it too. They will probably kiss your feet. You'll have to give a heads-up to the school secretary who will be fielding the calls from the parents; tell her to take numbers and you will call them back. I can promise you you'll only have to call them once. Optimally, your principal should have enough guts to make it a school policy, send / email home a notice the first day of school that the policy will be in effect beginning next Monday, and that's it.

I agree on the third-+ year makes it easier. Same lessons, same slides, just make the quizzes different so there's no saving them from last year. Personally, I favored handing out "note taking outlines," where the headers were on the sheet but the actual facts had to be added in by the student. Kept them busy, and I didn't have to do all their work for them (I love the can of soup visual). I also threw in random slides of cartoons, scenic vistas from far away places, little things, sometimes with applicability ("This is the Mona Lisa, painted by Leonardo da Vinci, who also did these beautiful anatomical studies of the shoulder that we are going to see today," for example) about once a week to keep them awake.

Hang in, summer is almost here. :)

If I could like this a million times, gild it and frame it, I would.

I asked my Principal for help with this, The Cell Phone Issue. No go. Because entitled parents with entitled children get entitlements.

[sjalv]

Just quit then. If you hate the job, but you keep doing it then your decision is made. And using terms like "they have no drive" is a generalization and devalues any point you are trying to make. And "unpaid" time...Are you in the classroom 40 hours a week? Being a teacher isn't just when you are standing in front of a classroom.

The bottom line is if you are miserable then quit. What exactly do you want people to say? You talk about God in your pos...well maybe be appreciative of every single day and appreciate the fact that you are not living in poverty and have clean water and food and a roof over your head. All your complaints are things that only you can change. No one else. Make a decision then stop complaining and just do it.

This was completely unhelpful and rude. The OP formulated an easy-to-read post that was well-formatted and explained her feelings from various angles. She presented us with her own obvious alternatives and even thanked us at the end for reading it. If you don't have any real advice, which you apparently don't, then why post something so scathingly condescending? "Stop complaining and make your own decision." is not advice, it is poor form.

[Red Kryptonite]

My kids' school has a policy that cellphones are turned off and kept in lockers during the school day. Being seen with your phone on campus during class hours will get you written up and can lead to detention.

Why doesn't every school have this policy?

[jj224]

The pay as a school nurse may not be much higher, or may even be the same, but she will get a regular schedule, weekends, holidays, and summers off with her kids and family - which is priceless. Plus, she won't be bringing home the stress / working outside of work.

[Farawyn]

My kids' school has a policy that cellphones are turned off and kept in lockers during the school day. Being seen with your phone on campus during class hours will get you written up and can lead to detention.

Why doesn't every school have this policy?

We do. It's just not enforced.

My idea is to have the bin at the front of every classroom like Grn Tea says. I don't see the problem with this AT ALL

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

To me being able to feed, house and clothe said kids would be priceless.

OP's choices are all a trade off. She is in a situation where the basic needs are covered.My point was ... additional money is not going to buy anything that is more precious than time with the kids.

[nyv2015]

Dear Hooligan,

I rarely post on this website, although I do love to follow others' posts. I felt compelled to reply because I am a teacher. I teach Junior High School English as a Second Language in NYC and I have also taught overseas. I can relate to a lot of what you mentioned, also have to create materials etc.., 40 kids in a class etc... lol A word of advice as far as teaching is concerned: Think first about what is best for your students. It can be a thankless profession, much as nursing can be I am sure. If, however, you find that you are resenting the kids more than empathizing with them, then you should definitely leave. Go back to nursing so you can keep the nursing skills you have (which I am sure you're great.) Once you stop truly caring for the kids(if you've gotten to that point), you're not doing them any favors by being there. Trust me. Yes pay isn't as great as nursing, but we get more time off. Yes a lot of that time is spent planning, but you really do get amazing vacations. That being said, don't forget that kids are kids. You cannot expect them to reciprocate the work you put in. They may not appreciate you until 20 years from now when they look back and realize what an ass they were. = ) The good thing about teaching is you can always return to it at any age. Nursing, however, (and correct me if I am wrong) you need to really keep your skills fresh? I would recommend going back to it. Yea you'll have to work the holidays but if you were more emotionally exhausted as a teacher, than you can't really enjoy those holidays and free-time anyway because you will be dreading going back to work. I remember when I was in undergrad I waited tables and worked every holiday, late nights etc. It can suck, but at least as a nurse you are working those days because someone needs you there and that is pretty special, something to be proud of.

P.S. If you're wondering why I am stalking this website it is because I am applying to nursing school in the fall, almost done with pre-reqs. -PLEASE don't anyone comment on what job is easier or harder or better as a career choice, everyone is different and responds differently to different types of stress. (..and yes I know there is no nursing shortage lol)