Im Pagan and a Hospice Nurse....

Wrench Party · Mar 3, 2012

I'm in the Bible Belt and have recently accepted the tenets of Buddhism into my life. I still consider myself rather

undecided of the question of whether there is some sort of higher being or not.

Regardless of that, I'm surrounded by Christians both in the hospital and in school as a student, and I take a

"live and let live" attitude. I do enjoy opportunities to help patients in any way I can- I had one

recently ask me to pray with her and I found it a very spiritually fulfilling and comforting experience despite

our different backgrounds.

Embrace your faith and embrace theirs as a learning opportunity.

WildOne · Mar 3, 2012

I definitely know how you feel. When I was a student I was administering puffers to a patient and she had like 4 so I had to wait i think it was a minute between each puff. While doing this, a minister came in to pray with her and I was trapped between the bed and window with the clients son directly across from me. It was definitely awkward but, interesting to watch the way he prayed...I believe he was a catholic priest as he offered her a cracker (not sure if this is the right term!)

He invited me to pray with them and since I was boxed in I was stuck . I was able to get out of that situation eventually but I couldn't imagine having a coworker shove religion down my throat during each shift :bowingpur

DaniannaRN, ASN, BSN · Mar 3, 2012

I am an atheist and worked in a hospice that prayed before staff meetings also. This company was not religious based so I have no idea why they were praying. However, when they did pray, I just finished up my remaining paperwork. It didn't bother me too much. There was another woman there who was Hindu and didn't pray also. No one asked us why or nagged us to join in.

Yes, it's wrong that some Christians assume that everyone share their beliefs. Yes, it's wrong to pray at a secular staff meeting. But if they leave me out of it, I'm ok.

As for that nurse you mentioned that made those statements, I would confront that person right on the spot. I will not be be subjected to that type of stuff at work. You can think whatever you want about atheists and non-Christians, keep it out of the workplace.

If you continue to feel a certain way about comments made, it may be time to move up the chain of command.

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2012

perhaps in the interest of future clients, it would be a mitzvah to coordinate a series of inservices from clergy of other faiths and traditions, to speak about their faiths' view of death and so forth. do one a week for five or six weeks. everybody might learn something.

rn/writer, RN · Mar 3, 2012

Even though this seems like an invitiation to awkward situations, you could end up being the go-to person when your facility takes non-believing clients. In that situation, you would have the opportunity to prevent a lot of uncomfortable feelings (on either side of the equation). Ideally, everyone should be able to handle any type of beliefs the patient has, but in the real world, some combinations are more of a stretch than others.

You wouldn't even have to make a big announcement about your own beliefs or lack thereof. You could just let it be known that you don't have any problem with taking patients who call themselves atheists or Wiccans or whatever.

GrnTea also had a good idea with the inservices about other types of belief.

This could be an opportunity rather than a pitfall.

SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS · Mar 3, 2012

You could look at this way: a Christian working in hospice will always feel sad if a non-Christian is dying. You will not. You will be able to administer comforts, medications, etc to help the dying person be as comfortable as possible without any kind of judgement. How blissful is that?

(I'm a Christian, and I worked in hospice with mostly other Christian staff.)

MN-Nurse, ASN, RN · Mar 4, 2012

What is the best wat way to "handle" , if you will, co-workers and patients in a way that is respectful to them but also to....myself??

Just do what we always do. Focus on the needs of your patients and do your best to ignore stupid things done by your coworkers.

romie · Mar 4, 2012

There are a lot of really good suggestions. I definitely agree that some transcultural nursing competence could be improved among your coworkers because dying is not limited to people of the Judeo-Abraham faith (Christians). So having regular inservices lead by leaders of other religions could certainly help achieve that objective. An added plus would be that some of the pressure would be taken off of you and the tone of the organization could be a little bit more bearable for you.

If your coworkers and the organization balk at the idea, I'm pretty sure they are getting reimbursed by Medicare so they have to use approved practices, including giving meeting the patient's preferred religious needs. If they are not meeting the patient's spiritual needs but only pushing their own agenda then they really should evaluate whether or not it is appropriate for them to receive Medicare funding.

I think the answer is really a balance of what everyone else before me has posted. Laying low, but not lying down, focusing on your patients' needs but also being true to yourself and meeting your own needs so that you can be in the position to take care of your patients. And of course that whole cultural sensitivity/ diversity "we should do it not just because we are getting federal funds, but because it is the right thing to do."

Good luck and thank you for sharing

burnoutward, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2012

First off, I give you props for your specialty, end of life care has been one of the most rewarding experiences of nursing for me. Hospice/End of Life has such a big spiritual component as you are dealing with crossing over into something we don't know and/or really understand and the need for spiritual support/connection is important for many patients no matter what faith. Unlike your coworkers, you are blessed to be coming at this from another angle and you can potentially serve a population that doesn't always get strong representation.

Like you, I am technically Pagan (altho I am not Wiccan). From personal experience, I would not recommend making ripples or pressing for big changes/making a big scene until you have been there for a bit and established that you are an amazing nurse and have compassion for all the patients, Christian or not.

Have compassion for your coworkers limited views and SHOW them by example of your care for patients that religion and peace is not limited to one faith and you can give patients of different faith support without condemning them. Instead of viewing the prayer during the meeting as offensive, maybe at someone point ask if you could share something that is a bit more broad spectrum, a great resource is the Universal Unitarian community they have some beautiful pieces. Then when you have been there long enough and demonstrated by your work compassion for those patients who are being condemned by your coworkers, discuss with your manager about the need for in services to support different religious beliefs/spirituality around death.

Another connection for advice is Pagan Hospice Chaplains, or the Summerland project. Here is a link that might help. Pagan Chaplaincy: Caring For The Pagan Patient

I hope this helps.

ErinS, BSN, RN · Mar 6, 2012

I would take a month and feel out your coworkers. Find someone who you feel you can talk to, and bring it up. I work in a state with what I would describe as a 'stifling' religious culture, of which I do not partake in the primary religion. In addition, it is a very conservative environment. Our team is comprised of team members of various religions, races, and sexual orientation. We also have a prayer at our meetings, but it is not always Christian prayer. Our chaplain leads our 'spiritual thought', and it is often from various religious backgrounds- like last months was a Jewish prayer.

Perhaps you could even discuss this with your chaplain as an option. I think it makes me a better hospice nurse to recognize a broad range of spiritual beliefs, even in my community with a very predominant religion.

OCNRN63, RN · Mar 12, 2012

I am new to hospice. I have been a nurse for three years and have previously worked in a fairly religously nuetral environment. I suppose I shouldve guessed that hospice would not be such an environment, but I think what has surprised me the most are my coworkers, who seem to be completely unaware that any religious trains of thought exist outside of christianity. I have no problem listening to them and am glad that they believe so whole heartedly in their views, I simply do not agree with them. But the other day I attended my first group meeting with our aide, volunteers, chaplain, sw, etc and they actually prayed before the meeting, assuming, everyone in the room shared the same beliefs as them! This, I found offensive. I am Pagan, Wiccan, more specifically, and I also value religious tolerance, but I am rapidly becoming aware of how much tongue swallowing I am about to be doing.Many of our patients are Christian as well, I expected this, and am ok with it. I am hoping I can find some advice from others who have already walked in my shoes. What is the best wat way to "handle" , if you will, co-workers and patients in a way that is respectful to them but also to....myself??

Would you be comfortable going to your NM and discussing this, with the offer to give your co-workers an inservice on what Pagans/Wiccans believe? Surely, not all of the patients they encounter will be Christian, and some may be Wiccan.

If you're uncomfortable with the prayer, I would ask if you could join the mtg. after the prayer. You're not going to change longstanding customs there, and it might not be in your best interests to try as a new staff member. You could make a lot of enemies that way. I can sympathize. My faith is not exactly popular, and when I worked in hospice I had several issues with staff because of it. You just have to decide what battles you want to fight.

tsconard · May 1, 2012

I would just not say anything. I work in a very catholic hospital. I love working there, but I am not religious what so ever. Theres numerous times where prayer happens. Over the intercom twice a day, sometimes with patients and families and the docs in care conferences. If thats what the family believes, support them in it. I just lower my head while they pray and thats the end of it. Its not about you, its about the families and patients. It shouldn't matter what your faith is. Now if there was a patient who shared similar beliefs to you, then you could help them out and lead them in how ever you pray or acknowledge your faith, but otherwise, just be there to support the patient.

I agree with you on this one....as a hospice nurse, you will have to focus yourself on the fact that ...it is not about you...but the patient/family. I am Christian, however when we have staff meetings for all employees, and start with prayer in a room of 150, i sometimes find myself wondering about those who do not share our faiths and that it must be uncomfortable for them.