Yes, it's true. I've decided the school doesn't need me, they only need someone who can call home. Kinda like a robot. Nursing judgment, eh, what does that mean??? My school is filled with special snowflakes who need to go home immediately if experiencing any discomfort at all (real or perceived), including the "I don't feel like being here any more" flu". Never mind that there's absolutely no signs or symptoms of illness or injury. So, I have taken the liberty to create my own, new job description:
Wanted
Nurse-like figure needed for school clinic. Must be able to call multiple phone numbers constantly during the day. Strong forefinger to hit buttons over and over again on phone desired. Must be able to handle the occasional angry, cursing parent who doesn't want to come get their "sick" child. The ability to detect BS is not required. Note: critical thinking skills and practicing nurse judgment is not required, and not welcome.
Specializes in School Nurse. Having conversations with littles..
Aww, thanks everyone (((hugs back))). Yup, it's been a bad one. A small sampling of recent conversations had with parents: Today, for example, I discovered I had the ability to create a fever in a second grader! I admit it - it's my fault your little one had a fever. You're on to me, Mom! I take pleasure in taking little ones who are perfectly healthy, then waving my magic wand and making them have a fever so you'll have to come pick them up. And we won't even discuss what choice words Dad had for me when I called to tell him about said fever his son had, because I couldn't find Mom.
Yesterday, another Mom asked me if I was happy she was going to lose her job because she can't get rid of the lice in her kids hair because, after all, (are you ready for the chorus, all together now!) "It's the school's fault they keep getting them". Yes, I take pleasure in that, too. 'Tis my little secret that keeps me going throughout the day. Oh wait, here's another one...."You're calling me too much. Stop calling me when special snowflake throws up. I don't have time to keep coming to the school every time it happens"
Ya know, some days I can handle it, and some days I-just-can't-anymore. It does seem like the I-just-can't days this year have far outweighed the good days. It's been rough since day 1.
Sigh. Please forgive me for hijacking my own thread, though I did think of another criteria to add to my revised job description, so here it is:
Ability to remember "Dialing for Dollars" also helpful.
Again, thanks everyone. It really helps me feel less alone when you all seem to understand.
mc3:blink: (back to hiding my head)
P.S. I miss Far! Did she ask our permission to go on this so-called field trip? I think not!
mc- I am just catching up on this thread. I am so sorry that your year has been so rough. I don't have a biggg squishy hug to offer, but I have a nice big ole motherly/granny/nurse/been/there/done/that huggggg.
I hope your week has gotten better. At least not worse. Wish we could show up and show you some love with chocolate and whatever your school appropriate drink of choice is!!
Yesterday, another Mom asked me if I was happy she was going to lose her job because she can't get rid of the lice in her kids hair because, after all, (are you ready for the chorus, all together now!) "It's the school's fault they keep getting them". Yes, I take pleasure in that, too. 'Tis my little secret that keeps me going throughout the day.
Haha! I got the whole "I lost my job because I had to call in because of lice so many times...and it's all your fault!" speech, too. Our policy does not say that you need to keep your kid home because of lice and you yourself don't need to stay home because of lice. Treat your hair and go to work.
The 1st grade lice epidemic was my fault this year...I heard one of the moms sharing this info in the hallway. THEN, she announced it on our school's facebook page. That was the peak of my school year. I literally give our kids lice THEN, when I inspect for lice I lie and say it's not there so the lice will grow and multiply.
MWAHAHAHA!
Our School Nurse job description doesn't even require that you be a nurse. It just says: moron that just fell off turnip truck. Preferred: JACKASS tattoo on forehead.
Had a kid come in that fell in his driveway on his way to the bus. Pretty good laceration. I called home to have mom come pick up, I felt he needed a stitch or so.
Principal says "I don't know why we are sending him home for a little cut."
Three stitches later I get an email from principal "Good call! I'm so glad you are here!"
.
I do what I do, you do what you do.
Cattz, ADN
1,083 Posts
mc- I am just catching up on this thread. I am so sorry that your year has been so rough. I don't have a biggg squishy hug to offer, but I have a nice big ole motherly/granny/nurse/been/there/done/that huggggg.
I hope your week has gotten better. At least not worse. Wish we could show up and show you some love with chocolate and whatever your school appropriate drink of choice is!!