If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry: Nursing Things that are so Frustrating They're Funny

[missnursingstudent19]

1. Just walked onto unit for my shift and grabbed my assignment sheet, haven't even take report on anyone yet..”The ER is calling report on your patient coming"

2. Only like 25% of my patients' medications are in the med room - the rest I'll have to order from pharmacy and wait and wait until they send it

3. Unit secretary: "so and so called and said their IV came out and blood is everywhere" (99% of the time this is at shift change)

4. Got everything settled with my admission and think they're good to go, 5 minutes before the next shift arrives the MD puts in a million orders for the pt.

5. Pt. has probably 20 pills in a med cup. Proceeds to dump them all in their hand and miss their mouth.

6. NG tube that won't unclog, attempt to flush it and then get sprayed in the face 

Add yours below...

[Davey Do]

Back in the mid '80's, a psychiatrist said, "If you don't laugh you will cry" when we read an article in the local newspaper.

A former recidivistic patient who had a diagnosis of Bipolar D/O with Psychotic Features announced that they were opening a clinic with some kind of wonderfully majestic therapy that was guaranteed to to help others find mental health.

[Davey Do]

Back in the late '90's, as a community nurse for the ACT (assertive community treatment) team, I would visit the patients who I normally saw in the community if they were admitted as inpatients.

One patient that I had known for about 15 years had been admitted for a suicide attempt.

The patient was informing me of the precipitating reasons for the psych admission:

"I thought I was taking cyanide, but it turned out to be Countrytime Lemonade."

I empathetically replied, "Yeah, I get those two mixed up also".

[JKL33]

Same problem that requires a work-around day after day after day or multiple times a day, and the entity who could easily fix it "....is aware." You know? People are always "aware" of things....for months and months. ?

If I could put curses some of them would be on these people that go to sleep at night knowing that they still didn't fix it so the ceftriaxone would scan...?

[Sour Lemon]

One of my favorites was a ranting, screaming patient at the beginning of my night shift who announced, "I'M LEAVING AMA FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!".

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

1 hour ago, Sour Lemon said:

One of my favorites was a ranting, screaming patient at the beginning of my night shift who announced, "I'M LEAVING AMA FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!".

Gotta wait for that delicious breakfast! 

[BSN-to-MSN, ADN, BSN, RN]

When I'm at the nurse's station and a doctor walks in, and asks where so-and-so is, and expects me to drop everything and help them look for so-and-so. Poor doctor is so helpless, I don't know how they even found the unit or the hospital! 

[sevensonnets]

Seventeen pills in the cup. Patient separates them out then says, "Where's that little pink one?" Nurse says, "What's the name of it and what's it for?" The answer is ALWAYS I don't know but the doctor told me to take it every morning.

[CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN]

My current job (an outpatient setting) used to have five nurses in my department. Two quit. Two are assigned to vaccinate full-time now. Leaving yours truly to do the work of 5 nurses. Every time I send an SOS to my boss or my boss’s boss, they are sympathetic and basically say “Damn, that’s crazy. Good luck with all that, we are rooting for you.”

[Davey Do]

14 hours ago, CommunityRNBSN said:

 “Damn, that’s crazy. Good luck with all that, we are rooting for you.”

Interpretation: "Sucks to be you."

[evastone, BSN, RN]

When the actively COVID positive patient says "Why are you placing me on the covid unit? I don't want them to make me sick!"

The patient presents to the ER at two in the morning with mild chest pain...for a year. No other symptoms, nothing has changed. Decided now was the time to discover the pain source. 

Patient states "I have no medical conditions. I'm completely healthy!" Then dumps a truckload of medications that he takes on a daily basis.

"I had diabetes but the Januvia and Metformin keep my sugar in normal range so I don't have it anymore."

Patient comes in with severe abdominal pain, registers, and moments later asks the nurse (before even being fully triaged) "So when am I going home?"

 

I've got many, many more...

[Davey Do]

36 minutes ago, evastone said:

When the actively COVID positive patient says "Why are you placing me on the covid unit? I don't want them to make me sick!"

 

Thanks, evastone!