If you didn't have to bite your tongue?

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What would you say to patients?

Specializes in Critical Care.
On 10/13/2021 at 3:29 AM, macawake said:

I honestly very seldom feel that I have to bite my tongue. I have no problems with the vast majority of my patients. What I think helps me feel quite zen about my patients is that I realized a long time ago that I can only change me. I can’t force other people to change so there is no use getting worked up about it. The second thing that helps me is that I don’t feel contempt for weakness. I feel anger and contempt towards people who are deliberately cruel and selfish, but not weakness. That really helps me because as a result, I seldom get frustrated with people’s behavior. 

It’s a very small percentage that I allow to get on my nerves. And yes, I used the word ”allow” on purpose. It’s a choice. 

Most of the time when I speak my mind to a patient, it’s not because they’ve managed to get under my skin. It’s more that I feel that I have an obligation to let them know that they’re behaving in a less than stellar fashion. I realize that it might sound slightly weird. I feel a bit detached from it all but still think there are certain rules that we should adhere to when it comes to how we interact (in polite society). 

If a patient or loved one is being rude, I will often look them straight in the eye and say something like: ”you know, in life I’ve always found that I catch more flies with honey than vinegar.. I understand that you’re in pain, feel scared and that you’re likely frustrated due to loss of control, but I’m here to help you. Lashing out at me is misdirected. Allow me to spend my time and energy on helping you, instead of engaging in this unproductive back and forth”. Nine times out of ten, the patient will apologize for their behavior. I find most people are actually quite reasonable if you only talk to them. 

If the patient’s behavior is more than rude, and crosses the line to being abusive, threatening and/or violent, I will simply say that ”the behavior you are displaying now, is no more acceptable here than it is in the outside world. If you continue down this path, I will contact the police. You need to stop it right now.” This is of course if I think they are in control of their faculties. I’m obviously not going to threaten my head trauma patient with the police, as I wheel them off to the OR”. 

As I started off by saying, I get along just fine with most of my patients. Many express gratitude and share that I made them feel safe and seen, as we say our goodbyes. I could never have a job where I felt angry a lot of the time and felt that I had to hold stuff in. Since my first career was in law enforcement, I think that I’ve developed some coping skills that help me today. I am not responsible for people’s poor choices and bad behavior. Human beings often make poor choices, it’s part of being human. We as healthcare professionals can offer support and provide information, but we can’t force people to change. It’s liberating to recognize that, because it takes away so much frustration. 

 

This is really good. Thank you for sharing this! 

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Specializes in Emergency Department.
13 hours ago, LibraNurse27 said:

I hope one day America will get socialized medicine, although I know it's not perfect. It could help improve the inequities in our system and no more satisfaction reviews if it's all the same system!

Unfortunately, I have a feeling that socialized medicine will not improve the entitlement attitude of our patients. They'll still find a way to blame the nurse for the fact that it wasn't a 5-star hotel experience: "I'm paying for this. You OWE me."

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Specializes in Community health.

“Yes, that doctor IS an idiot. She doesn’t listen to your concerns at all— you’re right. She is the worst doctor here in the clinic. Her diagnostic skills are terrible and her approach to every problem is ‘just send him to the ED.’ You should get a different doctor ASAP.”

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Specializes in ER.

"Maybe if you lost 200 lbs you'd see a dramatic change in your 2 page laundry list of problems, eh?"

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.

Patient: “Imma do me regardless”.

Me: “You doing you is the reason why you’re seeing me. I just want to thank you and others like you for my new car, new shoes, new purse, new house. Keep doing you so I can get that new iPhone”.

Patient: “You don’t care”.

Me: “No, it’s YOU who doesn’t care. I’m doing everything I can to prevent ME from being like you. That’s how I do me”.

This is an actual conversation that happens more often than it should. People just don’t seem to care anymore. They do what they want because they can run to the nearest healthcare facility for a quick fixer-upper. 

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Specializes in Operating room, ER, Home Health.

While working in the ED it would have been “Are you that f’ing stupid”

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Specializes in Operating room, ER, Home Health.
On 10/13/2021 at 7:18 AM, macawake said:

Yes, that ought to shut them up ?

Living and working in a country with universal healthcare is the remedy. Both healthcare staff and patients pay taxes, so very few patients act like entitled brats. 

Really, just wait the entitlement will only increase. 

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

I didn't fully realize until I left LTC how much some of the families grated on my last nerve. Never there to visit dear old Dad but the first to throw actual adult temper tantrums for the dumbest crap that of course all staff are pretty much required to validate by bending over backwards to make them happy.

The worst though are the family members that are absolutely clueless about the actual prognosis for dear old Dad. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to say Dad is 97 years old with advanced dementia, diabetes and a  laundry list of other diagnoses.  He can only urinate because we have a tube inserted in his member, because of this he gets frequent infections. He can't eat or drink without our help and can only eat pureed food, drink thickened liquids and take his 50 pills a day crushed in tiny bites with applesauce.  He can't take care of even his most basic needs, we do everything for his care. So no, he's not going to get up and start walking again with a little therapy.  No, he's not getting better and coming home.

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On 10/16/2021 at 3:33 PM, Emergent said:

"Maybe if you lost 200 lbs you'd see a dramatic change in your 2 page laundry list of problems, eh?"

“I don’t care what the scale says, we have to get vitals, including weight, on every patient, so shut up, take your shoes off, and get on the scale.  I don’t care if it is ‘just the ear doctor’, you are AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE”. 

 

On 10/17/2021 at 11:35 AM, NotMyProblem MSN said:

Patient: “Imma do me regardless”.

Me: “You doing you is the reason why you’re seeing me. 

I have said that LOL. I give my Q-Tip lecture (nothing goes in the ears, no Q-Tips, car keys, ink pens, Bobby pins, long fingernails, etc.).  Pt argues about how are they suppose to clean their ears out and I give them proper instructions. I had one tell me “well, I don’t put it in my ear, I start at the edge and rotate it as it goes into the ear, so I’m not pushing it straight in.”  I looked at him and said “and look where that landed you.”  He got mad and stormed out the door. And yes, he was being seen for ear fullness and had to have his ears suctioned to get the impacted cerumen out of it. LOL. 

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.

For quite a few of these folks, the dots fail to connect. 

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On 10/13/2021 at 7:18 AM, macawake said:

Yes, that ought to shut them up ?

Living and working in a country with universal healthcare is the remedy. Both healthcare staff and patients pay taxes, so very few patients act like entitled brats. 

My favorite THOUGHT was “I’m here to save your dumb ***, not kiss it”.  
 

Then there was the patient that was ranting about her “flan” being missing from her meal tray….I had to duck into the Med room And pull out my phone to Google what the heck flan was….she was homeless…I was well employed….I guess she was busy shooting up or eating up whatever money she had because I sure as heck never had that before. What ever happened to hospital jello?

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.
4 hours ago, NurseSpeedy said:

My favorite THOUGHT was “I’m here to save your dumb ***, not kiss it”.  
 

Then there was the patient that was ranting about her “flan” being missing from her meal tray….I had to duck into the Med room And pull out my phone to Google what the heck flan was….she was homeless…I was well employed….I guess she was busy shooting up or eating up whatever money she had because I sure as heck never had that before. What ever happened to hospital jello?

Sooooo.....flan is hospital jello?????

(trying some hard not to laugh at this.................................................??????????????????)

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