I don't take it, but she does, do you?

Noney · Sep 5, 2003

Essarge,

Yes I think it's appropriate to suggest that visits spread their visits. And It's OK to show them a lobby that's close by. You need to be careful in how you word it. I'm assuming that the RN was doing something else for his BP. But your suggestion could have helped.

Noney

Audreyfay · Sep 5, 2003

I do not take it. I say something like, "If you want me to help your patient, I need you to speak to me with respect." If they don't respond, I say, "Please call me back when you are ready to speak to me with respect>".....and I hang up. When I talk with a patient and if they are swearing,, I will tell them that profanity is not permitted. If they want my help, they must use proper language. If necessary, I hang up.. Good luck, my friend. I am under the philosophy that the more profanity my ears hear, the more likely I am to use it in my life! For pete's sake, I am a pastor's wife. Doesn't help me any!

JenNJFLCA · Sep 5, 2003

My grandma has been an RN 52 years, and she once had a Doctor push her up against the wall and threaten her. (This was about 30 years ago). She told him that he better not ever touch her like that again if he knew what was good for him. Go Grandma!! You can't let people bully you around...EVER.....in ANY situation! I've heard horror stories recently about the way RNs are treated (sexual harassment seems to be a big one) and when I become a nurse (2006!) I know I won't put up with any of that!!

colleen10 · Sep 5, 2003

I just started clinicals so I can't comment on receiving abusive behavior from docs. and families but I can comment on it from my experience in the "private sector". Wish I could say that that type of behavior only occurs in the rush and heat of a busy hospital floor but sadly it does not.

I have worked in companies where physical violence (pushing, tripping, grabbing) was not uncommon, even amongst women. Employees calling other employees "stupid", slamming phones down on each other, verbal attacks, etc.

The way I figure it, I wouldn't accept that type of behavior from my 5 year old neice, I certainly am not going to accept it from an adult who should certainly know better.

I will consider the source and the circumstances under which such behavior does occur. ie. the family of a patient in serious trouble, a doctor or co-worker that is going through an especially difficult time. That doesn't mean that I will take what they give me, it just changes my approach to them.

Sticking up for yourself and putting an end to such behavior when it occurs is not just a means of sustaining your own self respect. Abusive behavior is an in-effective means of communication and does nothing but negatively affect the work environment and patient care. It has no place anywhere.

tonchitoRN · Sep 5, 2003

there are ways to handle every situation. everyone here has wonderful suggestions. i think noone should put up with abuse in any form from anyone including family. the hospital i used to work was trying to be customer friendly. so anyone who raised their voice or became abusive was all of a sudden treated like royalty. it got out of hand because after a while the word gets out in the community and those frequent fliers knew that all they had to do was yell and complain and they would get a private room with meals for everyone.

eventually you have to put your foot down and put a stop to abuse. can you imagine if law enforcement let go of every bad person who complained? they have it right. the more you verbally abuse an officer, the more you threaten an officer or heaven forbid you hit one the more chance you have of going to jail. if this was enforced in healthcare then you would see a lot less abuse in the workplace.

maggiesma · Sep 5, 2003

After hanging up and/or using profanity under my breath and getting in trouble for it, I have come along way ( I think)

What I usually do is to keep a calm tone to my voice and if I am being attacked verbally, I request that the person "hold it right there" and "stop yelling at me". Then I proceed to tell them if we can't discuss the situation in a civilized manner then the discussion will not occur today. It usually works, but not always. If it doesn't work or the attacker is not someone that can be reasoned with, I file a formal complaint to whomever is that person's supervisor. I usually make sure the attacker knows that I am going to complain.

There have been times that I have had to "hang up" because I just can't "Take it" anymore (with a physician) and in those cases I just say "okay I am hanging up now".

One advantage (among many disadvantages) is that with the increased use of e-mail I have a chance to think through my response before responding.

2banurse · Sep 5, 2003

You are only going to get as much respect as you expect. For those nurses who expect to be treated with abuse, that is what is going to happen.

Kris

pwp1289 · Sep 5, 2003

i usually tell them "that is inappropriate behavior/i'm not yelling at you,please don't yell at me"--if that doesn't work i will leave the room/hang up phone-----and i have done both

sjoe · Sep 5, 2003

" if she hung up on an irrate [sic] doc, etc"

There is a difference between being assertive and being aggressive and/or simply rude (though, of course, each of the three has its place). Most of the abuse I have seen in this field has been between nurses, often one of them usually a manager/supervisor.

I'm sticking with my sig line:

Rapheal · Sep 5, 2003

A few weeks ago a new, rude and disrespectful intern told me not to call him again. Was dealing with an unstable patient. Of course I called him anyways and he had to come check the patient. He walked over to me with the nurses notes and said "This doesn't make me look good". Yep, I had charted what he said. He is much nicer now.

sanakruz, ADN · Sep 5, 2003

Document,Document,Document, Raph!

live4today, RN · Sep 5, 2003

Originally posted by essarge
........This patient also had 6 visitors in the room (including a 2 year old). When I suggested to the nurse (I'm a nurse extern), that maybe we should ask the visitors to just come in two at a time to lessen the stimulation going on, I was told that we can't tell any visitors anything like that because it is not "customer service".

Do you think I was wrong for suggesting that? What would you have done in this situation if it was your patient?

You know what essarge? A similar situation like this happened to me. I was told by my nurse manager that I cannot ask visitors to leave the room no matter how many of them there are. :eek:

The nurse manager told me that even though it is hospital policy, if one nurse says her patient can have ten visitors, and another nurse comes along and tells that same patient on a different shift that they can't...big PR issues arise, so we have to "dance around the visitors" to do our patient care.

How belittling that is to nurses who are there taking care of those visitors loved ones so they can get out of the hospital in an upright position and return to their lifestyle!

So, once again........nurses have lost autonomy in the profession. Let's face it nurses.......unless we all step forward and march to the white house steps and demand to be heard as nurses, I'm afraid more and more of what we use to be able to do as nurses will be taken away from us. What's next for us?