I don't take it, but she does, do you?

[flowerchild]

I was talking to a family member, who is also a RN, about not taking abusive verbal attacks from anybody, including people at work like Docs, pts, and family of pts. She said, she takes it b/c it's part of her job and that if she hung up on an irrate doc, etc. that she would loose her job. It's part of customer service according to her.

I thought we nurses had come further than that.

What do you do and why?

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

That's what's sad. Technically we can't tell our vsitors they have to leave, but every once in awhile you get that patient who hasn't quite had enough of a nerve medicine and says "ALRIGHT GET OUT!!!"

It wouldn't be so bad if the visitors weren't bringing in their screaming uncontrolled children, leaving the dang TV on, chatting like a group of hyenas, then WONDERING to the nurse why MOTHER can't SLEEP!!!

[mother/babyRN, RN]

That person is mistaken big time..Verbal abuse is part of the job but it is up to the person being abused to stop it or take steps to stop it..And, it is against the law to get rid of someone who is being abused who speaks up......I choose my battles wisely too and there is a lot to be said for witnesses..If I think I will have some problems with a person I need to call, I make sure he or she knows there is someone else on the line or, if their response is negative or inappropriate, I will ask them if they would like me to record their exact responses in the nurses notes...Makes people much more aware of my position....

[rdhdnrs]

There's never any excuse for one adult to be abusive in any way toward another. I have taken residents aside into the call room and explained that we are separate and collegial professionals with only one purpose: to take care of the patient. If they can't deal, then I will go up the chain of command. I am not about to let anyone take advantage of me or make me look stupid in front of the patient or my coworkers. My feet hurt too bad for that kind of nonsense.

As to the subject of too many visitors, I feel that a nurse should have the right to limit numbers, especially when it interferes with the wellbeing of the patient. I have had instances where family members were literally in the way of the IV pump, monitors, etc. My primary duty, and what I will be called to account for, is the safety of the patient, not if Dad or Grandma was comfortable at bedside. Try explaining in court that you allowed the situation in the room to be such that you couldn't do your job. Somehow the public has gotten the idea that the signs say Hilton instead of Hospital. Let's face it, with the way managed care is today, if you are admitted to a hospital, you are really sick. It's not the time for a family reunion.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Interesting about the visitor question. I've never heard that I cannot tell visitors that it might be a good idea to leave and let the patient get some rest. I have also kept visitors out if the patient needs rest, as in a new mom who is exhausted. I've never had a problem. If you frame it in such a way that the visitor thinks they are doing something good for the patient, they almost always do the right thing.

steph

[Todd SPN]

I've taken and seen more abuse and rudeness on this board than in all my jobs combined.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

Originally posted by Todd SPN

I've taken and seen more abuse and rudeness on this board than in all my jobs combined.

This board has the ignore feature. Jobs do not.

[angelbear]

We have one Dr at our facility that noone ever wants to call. He never gives us what we ask for and gets p.o'd over everything. Even our nurse managers dont have us call him they will tell us to monitor until one of the other doc's is on call. I have only had to deal with him twice the first time he was rude and said my pt was dieing I in turn said excuse me but not on my watch. He continued to be snotty so I just said excuse me but maybe you did not realize this is a person we are talking about. He gave me the order I wanted and then hung up on me. The second time was short and sweet. I do work 3rd and I know that makes it a little harder for some docs but you know what they chose that profession not me. If ya cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen Is my oppinion. I have never gotten any more forward or agressive than that. I would probably get fired if I did.

[Todd SPN]

Originally posted by LPN2Be2004

This board has the ignore feature. Jobs do not.

Which brings up a question. Has anyone ever just ignored rude behavior giving the person the benefit of the doubt that maybe they are just having a rotten day, or do you alway meet it head on?

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

I give it the benefit of the doubt all the time on the board.

However, when someone starts judging and putting down my character due to an opinion i post or sends PM's that feature vile namecalling and childish references, then it's ignore time. Bad days do not give anyone the right to call me a female dog in a PM just because i do not agree with them.

[Todd SPN]

Originally posted by LPN2Be2004

I give it the benefit of the doubt all the time on the board.

However, when someone starts judging and putting down my character due to an opinion i post or sends PM's that feature vile namecalling and childish references, then it's ignore time. Bad days do not give anyone the right to call me a female dog in a PM just because i do not agree with them.

Guess I should have clarrified my post better. I was thinking about when one is on the job. I know there have been times I have just ignored the behavior, not taking it personally. But there have been other times...Guess alot depends on my mood.

But I understand what you are saying. Thus, my original post on the subject. Sometimes there is not alot of tolerance, but some really staunch opinions that someone really wants to cram down your throat and if you do not agree they think they can change your mind by doing what you state above.

[Brownms46]

Originally posted by Todd SPN

Which brings up a question. Has anyone ever just ignored rude behavior giving the person the benefit of the doubt that maybe they are just having a rotten day, or do you alway meet it head on?

In real life, I'm not a person most people feel comfortable in being rude to. Most people kind of know who they can confront, and who they can't. For those who are ill, I give them the benefit of the fact they're ill, and not thinking correctly. I realize that fear of their dx, their anxiety about being in a hospital, and pain can alter a person's perception, and their responses. Many times when pt. have been rude, and or yelling at me, it has nothing to do with me.

I also realize that family member can be traumatized by their love ones being ill. They also can react poorly d/t to fear and anxiety. But when they're comprising the health, and healing of the pt. I'm caring for, I call them into the hall, and ask them to consider letting the pt. rest. I assure them I will watch over their love one, as if they were mine. Most people as steph said, are cooperative.

But there are always those who can be unreasonable. I find though that putting people at ease with humor, and getting them to smile, goes a long way to defusing situations. It doesn't work all the time, but most times it does.

Had a situation the other day, when this elderly gentleman, was intent on being a pain, from the moment I went to get him for his procedure. I refused to allow him to draw me into a disagreement.

By the time I had him ready, which took a lot of restraint on my part, he was telling me how I quickly saw though him, and knew he was all bark, and no bite.:chuckle. He told me I was one of the best he had met, and there should be more like me!

Another lady was being very difficult with me, but I looked into her eyes, and could see the fear there! When I looked on her H&P I saw she had a newly dx anxiety disorder. I got her to allow me to start the IV, so she could be given some Versed prior to even getting into the procedure room, as there would be a little wait, and she was coming out of her skin. She went thru the procedure with no further problems:D

A nurse has to sum up a situation quickly many times, and think on her feet. She has to decide how best to handle a certain situation without the benefit many times of knowing exactly what is the real problem. Sometime we assess correctly, and sometimes we don't. Sometimes we react instinctively, instead of taking the time to think first. We're human, and being thus we can only do the best we can, and when we fail ..we just learn from it, and try to do better.

I don't and never have, accepted rudeness from an MD...unless this isn't their normal way of dealing with me or others. There are times, we would all like to take back something we said or did.

I try to see where the person is coming from. But then again, sometimes I don't, and I just react. Like I said...just human, and not a machine. I can only hope that, there will be more times when I think first, and less times when I just react.

[Teshiee]

Since when does customer service override someone's health? Blood pressure that high noone would be in there! What were they waiting for him to stroke out? Just like in NICU one of my pet peeves is when I have a baby that doesn't respond well to excess stimulation and the parents keep on touching the baby but can't understand why the baby is having apneaic and bradycardic spells?