11/7: what I learned this week: Trey Anastasio wants to weigh your head; Cerner is stupid

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I have an absolute passion for discharge teaching, especially with new meds and diagnoses.

Sometimes compliance really does depend on convenience.

Cerner is stupid. A one-time stat dose of a med IV will cancel itself and mark itself as complete when that dose isn't given within an hour. The problem with this is if the dose is ordered in the ED and isn't immediately given because the patient needs fluid boluses, dopamine and atropine first, they come up to the floor and it looks like either someone discontinued the med, or administered the med. If anyone less neurotic than me got this med, they wouldn't have spent the half hour I spent going between ED nurse, hospitalist and pharmacy trying to figure out what happened.

Had a patient who is fairly new to alcoholism. New enough that no real damage has been done yet. He came in HR in 30s, SBP in 60s, after falling out in the kitchen. He is the first alcoholic patient I've had that I genuinely believe may be quitting. He's been scared sober.

After sitting on it for nearly two years, I have finally decided on grad school, which one and how to approach it. What I learned from this decision is that I'm probably really going to miss my unit. It's the most chaotic, busy unit in the hospital, and some days are soul crushing, and yet, I just love the people (usually).

If you have an LPN doing an admission assessment, first, make sure it got signed by an RN, but also, actually make sure what was charted is accurate.

If a cardiologist blows off intervention on a patient who has had a ridiculous number of 4-9 second pauses over several days, that patient may become brady and hypotension to a dangerous degree, right before shift change, causing her to need a temporary pacer before she gets the permanent one she was scheduled to get the next day.

AND, if that same cardiologist blows off an intermittent heart rate in the 200s for two days before deciding cardizem might be nice, probably an incident report would be a good idea.

AND, my favorite, most helpful cardiologist has left my favorites list and gotten onto my ess list.

When the generally lazy CN actually tries to "help", she may actually make things SO MUCH WORSE.

When upper management is entirely made of nurses, I genuinely believe this contributes to a wonderful work environment.

Did I mention I love patient teaching?

Four discharges going in simultaneously for four impatient patients makes for a horrible day. HORRIBLE. And of course, discharging 4 means more terribleness. Brace yourselves. Admissions are coming.

When your patient has been saying literally the entire day that she will sign out AMA if she is not discharged, expect her to pull a bait and switch while her husband talks to you at the nurses' station. Also, expect to get security involved when you can't actually find her anywhere. Expect her to be hiding around the corner of the building chain smoking, literally leaning on the "no smoking sign". Expect her to flip out when she thinks security is approaching to force her to go back inside. And then expect your coworkers to be confused when you tell them you had to find her to get her IV out. Dude, I'm not giving her free access to a vein.

(Also expect that to happen at shift change as well.)

Benzos and opiates can metabolize so quickly that ED doses may not pop a UDS positive that evening. I didn't even want to send the UDS to lab because the most likely meds to pop positive on, she'd just gotten in the ED. Unless, of course, grandma is doing coke, meth and ecstasy.

I'm really lacking patience for a couple of posters in the controversy vaccination thread.

Some patients have no problem whatsoever being really nasty to everyone EXCEPT their nurse when they feel the nurse should have done something that that nurse chose not to do. For instance, patient complained of headache and noted there was a nitro patch on, with no order to continue nitro patches. Removed it, waited a little while to see if that worked. The tech goes in and the patient tore him a new one over not getting pain medication. Every time I went into this room, the patient was sound asleep. She got medication and tea with her 2200 meds, and hers were given last because she stayed asleep. When I woke her up, not one single complaint. It's just weird.

I'm incredibly disappointed when floor nurses identify a need, and case management blows it off.

Got a song stuck in my head. It's not all instrumental, I promise. And the lyrics are.... Well, you'll hear. Enjoy.

Phish - "Weigh" (HD) - YouTube

Specializes in critical care.
I've learned that there are some really inconsiderate nurses in the world.

I was waiting with my patient (I do PDN) for his discharge, and it was taking FOREVER. I kept making excuses to my client about how the hospital nurses have to do a lot of paperwork/computer work for a discharge, yada yada yada, even though his actual discharge was ridiculously simple and the paperwork portion was already completed.

I finally went and asked another nurse (because I couldn't find his anywhere) if there was any kind of time frame for completing the discharge, and that's when I found out that his nurse WENT TO LUNCH instead of completing his discharge. Seriously?

Needless to say, I was NOT impressed with that facility!

On two occasions, I've had to delay discharge for lunch, both times because the cafeteria was closing about 5 minutes after I'd reached a point when I could leave the floor (it closes at 1430, shift starts at 0630, so by that time I had gone 8 hours without food). I genuinely felt bad for making people wait, but when lunch comes that late, I'm usually feeling pretty shaky and unwell.

Also, my floor used to have required lunch time slots. If you were scheduled at 12:30, you were absolutely required to go at 12:30. Not trying to say what happened didn't suck, mind you. Waiting even longer sucks no matter what the circumstances are. Just saying there may have been a requirement for the ill-timed lunch break.

Specializes in Med-surg, school nursing..

This week I have learned...

That I am bigger at 29 weeks pregnant than I was the entire time with the last two, and that my scrubs pants WILL NOT fit anymore, (see...work related) had to leave work to get my maternity jeans (Hallelujah for jeans day until Thanksgiving!!!)

How incredibly annoyed I get when I return to my office from a run to another school only to find that a student has been sitting there for 10 minutes waiting on a band-aid. Really?! You can't slap a band-aid on the paper cut so the kid doesn't unnecessarily miss class?!

How much I hate my PRN job, which used to be my full time job. All of the nurses are quitting because it has gotten so bad and management doesn't care. I wish I didn't need the extra money.

Side note: send good ju-ju for me to sell my house! Running out of room, and our realtor-God love him-is retired and this is his side job, so he isn't really motivated to sell.

This week I have learned...

That I am bigger at 29 weeks pregnant than I was the entire time with the last two, and that my scrubs pants WILL NOT fit anymore, (see...work related) had to leave work to get my maternity jeans (Hallelujah for jeans day until Thanksgiving!!!)

How incredibly annoyed I get when I return to my office from a run to another school only to find that a student has been sitting there for 10 minutes waiting on a band-aid. Really?! You can't slap a band-aid on the paper cut so the kid doesn't unnecessarily miss class?!

How much I hate my PRN job, which used to be my full time job. All of the nurses are quitting because it has gotten so bad and management doesn't care. I wish I didn't need the extra money.

Side note: send good ju-ju for me to sell my house! Running out of room, and our realtor-God love him-is retired and this is his side job, so he isn't really motivated to sell.

Squeeeeeeee!

I love pregnant bellies!

Specializes in Med-surg, school nursing..
Squeeeeeeee!

I love pregnant bellies!

I have a 3 year old, a 19 month old, and I am due in January... but pregnant belly says "Give me a break lady!"

Specializes in ICU.

I hate Cerner, too!!!! Extra exclamation points needed! It's the worst system I've used, hands down. My PRN job uses it and it's just so cumbersome and difficult to chart in.

I've learned that I have kind of a short fuse with non medical people. Not patients> Educated people who have no common sense about anything at all medicine related.

I'm going to have to give you a hallelujah here. I don't mind stupid people quite so much - it's the smart ones that know absolutely nothing about medicine and aren't receptive to anything I'm saying that drive me up the wall. They are clearly intelligent enough to understand, but just don't give a crap, and I find that very frustrating because I'm not just talking to hear myself talk!!! Ugh.

I learned that every code I have been involved in throughout my career has no discoverable cause and always ends in the patient dying.

I'm sorry. This is why I could never work somewhere without all the monitors. Kudos to you for working in that sort of environment, really, because it would absolutely drive me nuts. I have never had a patient code unexpectedly on me as a nurse, only as a CNA (knocks on wood) because they're on continuous monitoring and I only have two of them to watch. I'd say I've gotten pulses back in at least 75% of my codes. There's something to be said for working somewhere that you can see it coming, and you have at least six people in the room, the crash cart present, the pads hooked up, and the physician on the way before the patient even loses a pulse, which you figure out pretty quick because someone's probably standing there with a finger on the carotids - and that's only if we weren't able to push something to ward it off first.

Not saying they live to discharge, because they don't, but we have way more people die because we withdraw on them than people who die during a code. It's still sad, but it's not unexpected, and that really makes a difference for the families.

Specializes in critical care.
This week I have learned...

That I am bigger at 29 weeks pregnant than I was the entire time with the last two, and that my scrubs pants WILL NOT fit anymore, (see...work related) had to leave work to get my maternity jeans (Hallelujah for jeans day until Thanksgiving!!!)

How incredibly annoyed I get when I return to my office from a run to another school only to find that a student has been sitting there for 10 minutes waiting on a band-aid. Really?! You can't slap a band-aid on the paper cut so the kid doesn't unnecessarily miss class?!

How much I hate my PRN job, which used to be my full time job. All of the nurses are quitting because it has gotten so bad and management doesn't care. I wish I didn't need the extra money.

Side note: send good ju-ju for me to sell my house! Running out of room, and our realtor-God love him-is retired and this is his side job, so he isn't really motivated to sell.

I bet Peaches elastic waist would make for good maternity pants, if you're like me and hate stuff clinging to your belly. I loved them when I was mix-matching with school scrub tops. I tried them for work scrubs and they size on the large size. Their extra small is closer to a large size small, or even a small medium.

Specializes in critical care.
I have a 3 year old, a 19 month old, and I am due in January... but pregnant belly says "Give me a break lady!"

Oh, man..... How many times do you get asked if your tv is broken? My third pregnancy, my kids were 2 and 4. Everyone thought they were soooooo hilarious and original.

Specializes in Hospice.
ROPA is rule out sexual assault:

Psexual??

Specializes in ICU.
Oh, man..... How many times do you get asked if your tv is broken? My third pregnancy, my kids were 2 and 4. Everyone thought they were soooooo hilarious and original.

So silly. I would probably try to humiliate people who asked me that. "Why would my TV being broken matter? Is your sex life so boring that TV is more interesting than what you do in the bedroom or something?"

:blink:

So silly. I would probably try to humiliate people who asked me that. "Why would my TV being broken matter? Is your sex life so boring that TV is more interesting than what you do in the bedroom or something?"

:blink:

One time a fresh faced July Resident dared to touch my pregnant belly. An Opthamology Res- :sarcastic:

I told him I had ascites and "...what did he think he was doing?!"

hahhahahhahahaha!

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

I learned that when the first words out of PICU admit's dad's mouth are "I'm a physician" you can count on a fun filled night of excessive call lights and mysterious monitor parameter changes.

Also, I am becoming apprehensive about finishing my DNP and leaving the bedside. I've never not been a bedside nurse, and I wonder 'What if I hate being a full-time educator?"

I learned that when the first words out of PICU admit's dad's mouth are "I'm a physician" you can count on a fun filled night of excessive call lights and mysterious monitor parameter changes.

Also, I am becoming apprehensive about finishing my DNP and leaving the bedside. I've never not been a bedside nurse, and I wonder 'What if I hate being a full-time educator?"

You won't.

But the bedside ain't goin' anywhere, MMJ. If you hate it, go back!

And congrats in advance. :)

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