Basically my shift had ended at 5pm and I was ready to go home. Awkwardly a staff member who is also a Nurse was in the elevator with me she was going on her break. Greeted her and then she began sobbing, and I really was trying to avoid this situation. She began telling me how she is a single mother of 2, and that she had recently gone through a divorce 2 months ago and she didn't know what to do. I'm a very confidential person, I don't like gossip and such. I told her I was sorry she was going through this situation, but I told her to stop telling me more information, and divulging myself into her personal life. I said sorry I do not want to get involved, its not my business. She kept asking me for advice, I said look it has nothing to do with me please stop asking, and I referred her to our facilities Director of care and social worker. The next day I was called into the Directors office and that Nurse had reported me to what I said to her and they made a case that I was bullying her?
Nothing wrong with what I did, I don't put my problems at work. The boss said well you are a Nurse and you should figure out how to help someone. I told them...
1) my shift was over.
2) It had nothing to do with me in the first place.
None of this was in the job description when I applied. I of course did not sign the letter and will fight it, I did not feel like I was bullying her.
Have you ever thought to yourself if the medical field is your calling?
It takes patience, passion, love, integrity, caring, teamwork… etc the list can go on. Not just on the floor but off the floor as well..
At that moment you could have been the one to save this persons life… what if that day she contemplated on suicide?! She had so many issues/personal problems she was dealing with. That a simple. “Oh no I’m sorry you’re going through that” and finding a nice way to end the conversation. Does no harm.. But the fact you said what you said to her… she could of ended her life right then… Remember this the next time.. you never know who life you could be saving by taking a selfless moment to hear a person out. In Nursing it’s about going over and beyond your job description by doing the simplest things.
As an introverted male nurse on a very large unit where I am surrounded by female coworkers, I have on occasion been subjected to impromptu therapy sessions with coworkers. Most of their problems involve men and they want a man's perspective. I am not the comforting, tell them what they want to hear type. My "therapy sessions" are of the tough love variety. Most of them acknowledge that it was not the advice they wanted to hear, but the advice that they needed to hear. I have never been reported to my manager for giving a coworker non-compassionate advice on a personal matter.
I would need to read the other threads that the OP has posted, but his responses to his coworkers seemed too blunt even by the "typical guy" standard. There are numerous tactful responses that could be given to pacify a coworker in an elevator without telling your coworker essentially "I don't care what your problems are. It is none of my business. Leave me alone."
Have you ever thought to yourself if the medical field is your calling?
It takes patience, passion, love, integrity, caring, teamwork… etc the list can go on. Not just on the floor but off the floor as well..
At that moment you could have been the one to save this persons life… what if that day she contemplated on suicide?! She had so many issues/personal problems she was dealing with. That a simple. “Oh no I’m sorry you’re going through that” and finding a nice way to end the conversation. Does no harm.. But the fact you said what you said to her… she could of ended her life right then… Remember this the next time.. you never know who life you could be saving by taking a selfless moment to hear a person out. In Nursing it’s about going over and beyond your job description by doing the simplest things.
May be not but have you thought about an insurance job? you sound like you would be great over the phone refusing someone's claim.
You don’t have to get upset with me… I was just stating facts… as another commentator said… Why ask us for advice when you said you don’t want to be involved in others problems… we don’t want your problems either LOL…LOL
My comment was not in response to anything you said. It was directed to a quote from the OP. I was saying he might be great at denying claims if working as an RN in insurance was in his skillset. No emotion needed
Personally I agree that the OP could had handle that situation better; but, the reality is that, no one is obligated to deal with other people emotional baggage. Being reported and written up for it?? Nope...that manager is way out of line. As someone mentioned before , sounds like she is trying to create a paper trail; seems to us like he might had others incidents that had gotten him in her radar.... He better threat lightly.
I get not wanting to get involved in other people's lives, however if someone is visibly upset, a simple, response of I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time.
It appears he tried this, albeit not in a well-executed manner
On 12/5/2021 at 5:44 AM, DK123 said:
I told her I was sorry she was going through this situation, but I told her to stop telling me more information, and divulging myself into her personal life. I said sorry I do not want to get involved, its not my business.
Yes, he should have stopped after I'm sorry but I don't think the other person would have let him off so easy. See below.
On 12/6/2021 at 4:35 PM, CommunityRNBSN said:
Something much more elaborate went on here--
As evidenced by this.
On 12/5/2021 at 5:44 AM, DK123 said:
She kept asking me for advice,
He asked her to stop but she kept on.
I'm really glad there are so many people here who, when ambushed by perfect strangers in an enclosed box, can perfectly execute a therapeutic session on the spot but not everyone has those skills and they should not be dragged through the mud over it. Despite the mischaracterisation of me as person by a previous poster I, personally, have gotten mired in such situations with people who became inappropriately open about their problems and intrusive into my life because I was willing to listen to them. These kind of people often have boundary issues and poor impulse control. It is extrememly difficult to extricate yourself from such situations as the OP, and I, have learned. While I believe the OP was too blunt I do not for a second blame him nor feel being written up was appropriate.
ftr: the bolding was just for clarity since there are so many quotes.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
9 hours ago, Wuzzie said:
It appears he tried this, albeit not in a well-executed manner
Yes, he should have stopped after I'm sorry but I don't think the other person would have let him off so easy. See below.
As evidenced by this.
He asked her to stop but she kept on.
I'm really glad there are so many people here who, when ambushed by perfect strangers in an enclosed box, can perfectly execute a therapeutic session on the spot but not everyone has those skills and they should not be dragged through the mud over it. Despite the mischaracterisation of me as person by a previous poster I, personally, have gotten mired in such situations with people who became inappropriately open about their problems and intrusive into my life because I was willing to listen to them. These kind of people often have boundary issues and poor impulse control. It is extrememly difficult to extricate yourself from such situations as the OP, and I, have learned. While I believe the OP was too blunt I do not for a second blame him nor feel being written up was appropriate.
ftr: the bolding was just for clarity since there are so many quotes.
Admittedly, I haven't read through DK123's threads people have referenced, so based on the information presented, I wouldn't call the interaction "bullying", and I feel this was the appropriate action, DK123, considering all the circumstances, especially the boundary issues.
Quote
I said look it has nothing to do with me please stop asking, and I referred her to our facilities Director of care and social worker.
Prissy2022
13 Posts
Have you ever thought to yourself if the medical field is your calling?
It takes patience, passion, love, integrity, caring, teamwork… etc the list can go on. Not just on the floor but off the floor as well..
At that moment you could have been the one to save this persons life… what if that day she contemplated on suicide?! She had so many issues/personal problems she was dealing with. That a simple. “Oh no I’m sorry you’re going through that” and finding a nice way to end the conversation. Does no harm.. But the fact you said what you said to her… she could of ended her life right then… Remember this the next time.. you never know who life you could be saving by taking a selfless moment to hear a person out. In Nursing it’s about going over and beyond your job description by doing the simplest things.