I don't fit into nursing& nurse eating

Published

I am 48 and graduated 10 years ago. I have found nursing to be so hostile that I cannot endure it anymore, but I keep plugging on because I am now single and need to support myself. I was recently hired for an orthopedic rehab position that, during my orientation, morphed into a long term acute care hospital.

The staff is very upset about it. We get patients right from critical care and the delivery of patient care was recently changed from primary care to team nursing. I must state here that the staff has a reputation for chasing out new nurses because they are nurse eaters. I don't do well with this.

For compensation purposes an RN must do a full assessment at least once in 24 hours, so the assignments are set up-(like last evening) two RN's, one per hallway and three LPNs that pass the meds and do the treatment. The RNs are responsible for admissions, discharges, IV's, documentation, blood draws, etc. Most full assessments are done on daylight, so it is possible for an

RN to make herself available for prn pain meds, transfers, etc.

Any way, I have had a very hard time with the other staff. It seems that if you are not easy with a quick witted comeback or in the cool clique, you are fodder for their nastiness. I have been told in report that if I press the pause button one more time (d/t interruptions) that this nurse would "break my fingers". The other day we had an inservice on hospice and the discussion was who was going and who would stay on the floor. Due to my former position as a hospice nurse, it was decided that I would stay on the floor. When the supervisor walked away, this same nurse who threatened to break my fingers stated "just last week I killed a pt with IV morphine" Another nurse said, "you had MD orders to give it" and I stated, somewhat lamely " you didn't kill him Susan, what was the dose?" and she turned around and spat at me with venom-"How long were you a hopice nurse, a month?" I backed down because she can get very mean, and I walked away stating "I just don't like to see a nurse beat themselves up because they gave morphine and the pt died." She said "I wish I could kill you with IV morphine." I was very upset for the rest of the day and into the evening. I finally went to report her but the supervisor was in a meeting. The next day she begged forgiveness, and I did forgive her but told her that I was very upset and that it was extremely damaging and hurtful. We spoke congenially after that, but the emotional toll was great. As luck would have it, the next day a pt came in and the wife and dtr told me they were told "he came her to die". I asked if anyone had mentioned hospice, and she said "what is hospice?"

We don't contract with a hospice and we are still a rehap hospital, so it has been very confusing to the staff and family- the wife decided to give it a week to decide and she had much family and friends telling her what she should do. I gave her much impartial support and told her that it was not our job to tell her what to do, but to inform her as much as we could and she decided to take it day by day. NG tube feedings, copious pulmonary secretions, prob pneumonia and aspiration and ESRD. Yesterday the wife decided to let him go. On my 3-11 the pt had another nurse. I was alone at the station when the wife came up and asked me a question. I found out the answer, went to tell her and got involved with much emotional support and letting her know what she would see as far as the death process and how we would make him comfortable. He was very gurgly from the admission and I really thought he would not dry up (he had a scop patch and attropine gtts) and I emphasized that the mso4 would make him comfortable. She cried on my shoulder and I held her. We spoke about how long he could go on and her choices of inpatient if he lasted a couple days. I felt that he could since he was getting water flushes via NGT.

I found out that all the nurses and techs were at the station livid that I was in there and "who did I think I was?" I was then told by the evening supervisor to stay away and let the assigned nurse "handle anything else that comes up" I agreed, but I was really disconcerted by the mentality of the people that I work with. I examined my boundaries. I do not feel I was the only one who could do the job, although my backround and relationship that was established with the wife gave me an ability to give her support in this time. She was very grateful.

I just don't feel that I can fit into this profession. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I feel that my patients are grateful and benefit from my presence, but I just can't deal with the incredible hatefulness that pervades most nurses behavior. I don't have a mean bone in my body, but I come home every day examining my actions and blaming myself for either what comes my way (after all I must be doing something wrong to be so disliked) or hating myself for not standing up to them. I feel that standing up to them is a daily chore and it is just too draining. I have come to hate going to work and I am dreaming of the day I can open a small lingerie store or the like.

Thanks for listening.

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Its amazing how hurtful, mean, and just plain nasty people manage to keep their jobs.

I worked with an NA who the Care Manager thought was the be all and end all. If you had a problem with her, it had to be ur fault because X has been here for years and everybody loves her.

Verbal abuse to the LPN's was so bad the casuals would refuse to work the unit if she was on. She would refuse to make beds, because "this is rehab and who makes their beds at home". This to a woman in a w/ch with a broken leg. Homophobic to the HIV patients who came our way.

Patients in acute started refusing to come to our sub-acute unit in case they wound up in her rooms. (Nursing is a very small world, and its amazing how people know people).

One of these patients was finally talked round into coming to the unit. His family reported the NA to the authorities.

The Care Manger 18 months later, still says she misses X, "she was such a great NA".

Rumour has it she has surfaced as an NA, in the next town's acute care hospital. I wonder who gave her a reference!!!????

She was finally dismissed for patient abuse.

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:crying2: I know how you feel, and it really is true about how nurses eat their young. I'm questioning my judgement for getting into this. It was just a little over a year ago when I graduated. It was a struggle, and now that I am working full time, I am now looking at making a change again. That is sad, considering we are at an all-time horendous nursing shortage. But if the backstabbing and non-teamwork keeps up, this nation will suffer like we've never seen. By the way, my user name is "equity" and I'd like to build up some equity in a job somewhere. So far it's Zero. Hope to year from you.

I am 48 and graduated 10 years ago. I have found nursing to be so hostile that I cannot endure it anymore, but I keep plugging on because I am now single and need to support myself. I was recently hired for an orthopedic rehab position that, during my orientation, morphed into a long term acute care hospital.

The staff is very upset about it. We get patients right from critical care and the delivery of patient care was recently changed from primary care to team nursing. I must state here that the staff has a reputation for chasing out new nurses because they are nurse eaters. I don't do well with this.

For compensation purposes an RN must do a full assessment at least once in 24 hours, so the assignments are set up-(like last evening) two RN's, one per hallway and three LPNs that pass the meds and do the treatment. The RNs are responsible for admissions, discharges, IV's, documentation, blood draws, etc. Most full assessments are done on daylight, so it is possible for an

RN to make herself available for prn pain meds, transfers, etc.

Any way, I have had a very hard time with the other staff. It seems that if you are not easy with a quick witted comeback or in the cool clique, you are fodder for their nastiness. I have been told in report that if I press the pause button one more time (d/t interruptions) that this nurse would "break my fingers". The other day we had an inservice on hospice and the discussion was who was going and who would stay on the floor. Due to my former position as a hospice nurse, it was decided that I would stay on the floor. When the supervisor walked away, this same nurse who threatened to break my fingers stated "just last week I killed a pt with IV morphine" Another nurse said, "you had MD orders to give it" and I stated, somewhat lamely " you didn't kill him Susan, what was the dose?" and she turned around and spat at me with venom-"How long were you a hopice nurse, a month?" I backed down because she can get very mean, and I walked away stating "I just don't like to see a nurse beat themselves up because they gave morphine and the pt died." She said "I wish I could kill you with IV morphine." I was very upset for the rest of the day and into the evening. I finally went to report her but the supervisor was in a meeting. The next day she begged forgiveness, and I did forgive her but told her that I was very upset and that it was extremely damaging and hurtful. We spoke congenially after that, but the emotional toll was great. As luck would have it, the next day a pt came in and the wife and dtr told me they were told "he came her to die". I asked if anyone had mentioned hospice, and she said "what is hospice?"

We don't contract with a hospice and we are still a rehap hospital, so it has been very confusing to the staff and family- the wife decided to give it a week to decide and she had much family and friends telling her what she should do. I gave her much impartial support and told her that it was not our job to tell her what to do, but to inform her as much as we could and she decided to take it day by day. NG tube feedings, copious pulmonary secretions, prob pneumonia and aspiration and ESRD. Yesterday the wife decided to let him go. On my 3-11 the pt had another nurse. I was alone at the station when the wife came up and asked me a question. I found out the answer, went to tell her and got involved with much emotional support and letting her know what she would see as far as the death process and how we would make him comfortable. He was very gurgly from the admission and I really thought he would not dry up (he had a scop patch and attropine gtts) and I emphasized that the mso4 would make him comfortable. She cried on my shoulder and I held her. We spoke about how long he could go on and her choices of inpatient if he lasted a couple days. I felt that he could since he was getting water flushes via NGT.

I found out that all the nurses and techs were at the station livid that I was in there and "who did I think I was?" I was then told by the evening supervisor to stay away and let the assigned nurse "handle anything else that comes up" I agreed, but I was really disconcerted by the mentality of the people that I work with. I examined my boundaries. I do not feel I was the only one who could do the job, although my backround and relationship that was established with the wife gave me an ability to give her support in this time. She was very grateful.

I just don't feel that I can fit into this profession. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I feel that my patients are grateful and benefit from my presence, but I just can't deal with the incredible hatefulness that pervades most nurses behavior. I don't have a mean bone in my body, but I come home every day examining my actions and blaming myself for either what comes my way (after all I must be doing something wrong to be so disliked) or hating myself for not standing up to them. I feel that standing up to them is a daily chore and it is just too draining. I have come to hate going to work and I am dreaming of the day I can open a small lingerie store or the like.

Thanks for listening.

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I too have worked places that are as you describe...they are not all like that...but it

is hard to find a good place to work that

stays that way...everything is always subject

to change. God bless you.

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Specializes in LTC, home health, critical care, pulmonary nursing.

I'm sorry you all are having bad experiences. It's not like that everywhere. Most places, I've learned, but not everywhere. Come work with me, we're nice people!

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I say you need to give this more time and try another job. It's not like this everywhere. Trust me. We need you; please don't give up just yet! Oh and welcome to the boards!

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I am so sorry you have had such a bad experience. It really isn't like that everywhere, and it sounds as though you have a gift of compassion that is truly an asset to the profession. Some people who just don't care anymore feel threatened by those who do. Please look around for another place, and good luck to you.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I am truly sorry that you are having to deal with a hostile work environment. As other posters have suggested, you might consider finding another place of employment. They are not all that bad.

However, another point to consider is that places become so bad because people tolerate it. You can choose not to tolerate it and to address the problem with your management, hospital administration, etc. You have been threatened with physical violence from a fellow staff member at least twice. That's borderline criminal activity. You should not let her off the hook with a simple apology. You should talk about it with your manager -- preferably with someone from Human Resources present. Speak calmly and professionally and explain that the threats of violence against you are distressing and ask for their help in dealing with it. Try not to say things that will make them get defensive ... simply present to them that there is a problem with the workplace environment and ask for their help in dealing with it.

That's the first step. If you never say anything, you can't realistically expect the leadership team to do anything to improve the situation. It's your choice. You can either tolerate the situation and allow it to continue ... you can simply leave and allow the situation to continue for the next person hired ... or you can stand up to the bullies and possibly improve the situation for yourself and/or others. Make the choice that is right for you.

Good luck,

llg

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

So sorry you work in such a pit! Is there a chance you could transfer to another unit? Working in a toxic environment isn't healthy for you.

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i didn't read your whole post, because my feedback has to be limited anyway (i am in a hurry-- killing time on computer) but that woman you work with who "jokes" about killing people, including you, sounds like a psycho to me. i wonder if you could just straighten stuff with her out (hopefully by her crawling away-- far, far away)... i wonder if the rest of it you could straighten out then in your own way, just with that one biggie issue gone. because (as i have said) she sounds really weird. but maybe it is just me?

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Cargal, anytime anyone says "I'd like to kill you", that's reportable. It is harassment, and even if said jokingly is truly NOT OK.

Not all places are like that, or I couldn't work in this profession.

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I thank all of you for your replies. It is a beautiful day and I am taking a former patient who turned out to be my neighbor shopping for a dress for her grandddaughters wedding. She can't tolerate the experience without assistance d/t COPD. I am lucky to know her. Then I am going to make fried chicken for my BF and tomorrow will address the situation with HR as advised above. I knew you all would be there for me!

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