I have been a nurse for 4 years now. My first year I worked on a med-surg unit at a hospital in the city- about an hour and a half from my house. It was okay but the drive got to be too much especially in the Winter when the hour and a half drive turned into a 3 hour drive or I would have to fork out $150 a night to stay in a hotel because the roads were too bad to drive on. I live in a very small town in Indiana- a population of around 1200. There is only one hospital within an hour drive of me, which is where I currently work. It is a very small "Band-Aid" hospital with a small ER, a 6 bed ICU where the most intensive thing they do is give blood, and a psychiatric unit which is where I work.
I have been in psych the last 3 years and I am beyond burnt out. It's not that I don't like the job, but to be honest, I do not feel like I do much or help in any way. We see the same patients over and over again and 95% of them just need a place to stay and eat for a few days. I literally pass pills and chit chat with my patients and maybe get an admission or two and that is it. It is monotonous and I am bored. I did travel for a while last year but due to family obligations at the time (helping my mom), I could not travel far and unfortunately the opportunities dried up so I cam back to my old staff job. It is disheartening going from 10k a month to bringing home 2500 a month. I really want to try out another area of nursing but the issue is, there is literally nothing close to me. There are no outpatient centers. There are no nursing homes. Hospice/home health is not a thing around here. There is nothing besides the small hospital I work at and I do not have an interest in working ER or ICU. There is only a one small doctors office besides the hospital and they are never hiring. The one school in town is also never hiring nurses either.
I would love to do L&D or aesthetics but those are not options anywhere close to me. The nearest hospital with an L&D wing near me is over an hour and a half way and they pay is only $1 more than I make now which would not be worth it by the time I paid for gas. Not to mention in the Winter, I would have to get a hotel when the weather is bad since they do not plow my roads. I looked into aesthetics nursing and every med spa wanted experience or they were a 2 hour drive one way and the pay would literally be my gas money for the week. I am also in grad school- I have 2 more years- and the schedule would not have been feasible with my school as I have set exam times that are not negotiable. I have also looked into remote nursing jobs but they all require experience and the only experience I have is in psych and there are no remote jobs available for this as I have looked for the last year. And the few remote jobs I have qualified for, the schedule was also not feasible with my school/exam schedule.
And unfortunately, moving is not an option. My boyfriend has worked at his company for over a decade but does not have a college degree. He got lucky and got in at the right time and with his military training, got a high paying job and has worked his way up in his company. But the downside is, that means he is stuck there as he would never have a job that pays as well without a degree. Not to mention he is grandfathered into benefits that are no longer available anywhere really. I have brought up how I feel about being stuck and he is supportive but also tells me he does not know what to tell me. He did tell me when we first starting dating 5 years ago that he loves his home here, he only has his dad left and he will not leave him, and he cannot just go anywhere and get a job so therefore he will be staying here. He will bring this up and tell me he told me he was staying here and this is something I knew before we got serious.
I am also 7.5 months pregnant (my Nexplanon failed) so that also puts a damper on my plans as well. I had originally planned to go back to travel and go wherever I wanted or just get an apartment or something in the city and work to get experience but that is not going to be possible now with a baby. I just feel so stuck. I had always had big plans and dreams and wanted to travel and see different things but now I feel like I cannot do that. I feel so lost and dissatisfied and don't know what to do
If there are such limited services in your small community have you thought about possibly starting your own business once you are a provider, or even before and start providing some of those services? It seems to me that the area could benefit from a home health agency.
You could start small, providing limited services until you are comfortable in the role and running a business. Of course I have no clue what regulatory hoops you would need to jump through to get a new health care business off the ground and you would certainly need sound business advice but maybe that would be an option worth looking into. If you are ultimately invested in staying where you are it could provide needed services to your area as well as give you some lacking career fulfillment.
If there are such limited services in your small community have you thought about possibly starting your own business once you are a provider, or even before and start providing some of those services? It seems to me that the area could benefit from a home health agency.
You could start small, providing limited services until you are comfortable in the role and running a business. Of course I have no clue what regulatory hoops you would need to jump through to get a new health care business off the ground and you would certainly need sound business advice but maybe that would be an option worth looking into. If you are ultimately invested in staying where you are it could provide needed services to your area as well as give you some lacking career fulfillment.
A doctor actually did do that a few years back and the business went under because there wasn't enough interest in it. Most people around here are extremely poor and do not have insurance and are the type not not seek medical care out of stubbornness, financial reasons, etc. my hospital has tried a few times to implement an outpatient/home health program a few times and it's gone under due to the costs and lack of interest in the community. Not to mention as an NP, you can't practice independently in Indiana so there's a lot of legal stuff to go through. There are aren't many nurses in the community and it goes back to the location as well. Nurses that live further out are not going to drive all the way out here for the pay and the few nurses that live in the community have worked at the hospital for 20+ years and plan to retire there. I'm the youngest nurse that works in the entire hospital and I think I'm one of the last ones the hired too. People don't leave because there aren't options or they grew up here and do not know anything else or have a desire to get out. And to be honest, running my own business sounds like a headache and not something I'm super interested in
Specializes in Quality Control,Long Term Care, Psych, UM, CM.
Hi OP, first of all congrats on your pregnancy! IMO, it is one of the best things to be a mom! Your life will definitely change, for the better.
I don't live in such a small town like you do, but I feel what you're saying. Are there any residential psych companies near you? I mean group homes/supported apartments/day programs? I used to work in that setting and it was awesome. No weekends and it was 8a-4p with lots of flexibility for my kids.
I currently work for an insurance company. You don't need to live near them, you can be anywhere as long as you have a valid license in that state or a compact license. I'm in NJ and recently took a job in Texas. I also have a job in NY. I am a big advocate of insurance companies. It's all M-F, 9-5, no holidays, no weekends, fully work from home, flexible time to handle family obligations. There are so many positions you can take in the insurance industry, including psych. You can also be an NP there, but I'm not too sure of their roles. If you don't already have a compact license, look into it. It was one of the best things I did as it opened up jobs in about 40 states (and more states are being added).
I don't get the impression your fiance is a "my way or the highway" type. I get what you're trying to say about his job/benefits. However, and I hope you don't mind me giving you some personal advice, I would strongly recommend getting married asap. My husband and I did a small inexpensive ceremony, the total cost was about $300. We only had our kids (from prior marriages) and our best friends there. You can always renew your vows later on and do a huge wedding. That way, you can be covered under his benefits and you won't have to worry about that. It also gives you and your baby legal protection for anything that may occur. Also, it may be better to save the money you would've spent on a large wedding. If someone doesn't like your decision to have a small wedding, that's their problem, not yours. It's up to you and your fiance only.
Are there any residential psych companies near you? I mean group homes/supported apartments/day programs? I used to work in that setting and it was awesome. No weekends and it was 8a-4p with lots of flexibility for my kids.
I currently work for an insurance company. You don't need to live near them, you can be anywhere as long as you have a valid license in that state or a compact license. I'm in NJ and recently took a job in Texas. I also have a job in NY. I am a big advocate of insurance companies. It's all M-F, 9-5, no holidays, no weekends, fully work from home, flexible time to handle family obligations.
Unfortunately no, there are not any residential psych or any outpatient centers anywhere near close to me. There used to be a rehab center about 45 minutes from here but it got shut down. I am not exaggerating when I say that there is nothing within an hour from here except for a few little gas stations. The only healthcare in any way, shape or form within 70 miles of here is the small hospital I work at, the local doctors office, and the one school as a nurse. That's it. As far as remote work or m-f work, I have explained why that is also not an option for me as I have exams in one class every Tuesday at 2pm for one class and exams every Thursday at 1pm for the other. That is why any m-f job, any job that requires me to be on call is not an option. I have spoken with my professors about possibly moving my exams or having a window and they said no, that exam times are non-negotiable and that all the exams for the remainder of the program (2 more years) are either on Tuesday's or Thursday's and at either 1 or 2. Before I got pregnant, I was either going to go back to travel or take my fiancé up on his offer and get an apartment in the city and work in the city, but that's not going to be possible with a baby unless I practically abandon my child for half the week
As far as remote work or m-f work, I have explained why that is also not an option for me as
A lot "NO" here. not matter what we suggest. Ashley, I wish for you all got things for your life....But I don't know why you posted here, because every suggestion is a BUT....
Wishing you a great future with your baby. While you do not marry your baby's father, I would suggest you do something legal beyond the birth certificate naming him the father.
As far as remote work or m-f work, I have explained why that is also not an option for me as
A lot "NO" here. not matter what we suggest. Ashley, I wish for you all got things for your life....But I don't know why you posted here, because every suggestion is a BUT....
Wishing you a great future with your baby. While you do not marry your baby's father, I would suggest you do something legal beyond the birth certificate naming him the father.
Frankly I am not advocating marriage to create an unhappy union. But the entering into a legal union protects YOUR child (this includes Social Security payments ) if someone Mother or Father get disabled.
I'm afraid I must respectfully disagree. I think a baby alone is one of the worst reasons for getting married. And that marriage license alone does not ensure a child's future. I have seen many a single parent do a phenomenal job raising their children, and couples that are miserable can have miserable and unhappy children,
She and the baby's father are happily involved. Just waiting to get married for a big ceremony. I advocate getting married NOW to get the child tied into the parents social security, life insurance at work, and marriage to get a legal commingling funds with checking, savings, housing (it is all his), completing income tax schedules for ALL deductions to give them the best financial situation.
I have never advocated for 2 people to get married that will end in a miserable state.
2 people getting married to make each other miserable, I agree. The OP said they were engaged.
Specializes in Quality Control,Long Term Care, Psych, UM, CM.
londonflo said:
A lot "NO" here. not matter what we suggest. Ashley, I wish for you all got things for your life....But I don't know why you posted here, because every suggestion is a BUT....
Wishing you a great future with your baby. While you do not marry your baby's father, I would suggest you do something legal beyond the birth certificate naming him the father.
I noticed that too. Sometimes people don't really want a solution to their problems. They would rather shoot down every single suggestion because of -insert issue here- instead of trying to find workarounds. There are always ways to fix an issue, you just have to be willing to put in the work.
OP, I also wish you lots of success in your personal and professional life. And hopefully things work out for you.
I noticed that too. Sometimes people don't really want a solution to their problems. They would rather shoot down every single suggestion because of -insert issue here- instead of trying to find workarounds. There are always ways to fix an issue, you just have to be willing to put in the work.
I didn't take it that she came here for advice. I think she came here to vent and have support and instead everyone offered their two cents without truly understanding the nature of the situation and OP has tried to explain to them over and over that she has looked into the options they are suggesting and it's just not a possibility. She stated multiple times that she cannot work a Monday-Friday job due to her exam schedule, which she has talked to her professors about and they have told her that her exam times are set. Yet everyone keeps commenting "do remote work. it's Monday- Friday" She has stated that she looked into home health but there are no services in her area and that her hospital has tried to set up home care and it has gone under several times. Yet people keep commenting "do home health". she has said many times the only healthcare provided within an hour and a half is her small hospital and a small doctors office, yet people keep asking, is there xyz in the area? Starting a business is extremely hard and time consuming, not too mention it costs a lot of money upfront, may fail, and a lot of legalities involved- yet many have commented willy nilly "just start a business" without thinking of all the logistics involved. In a town as small as 1000 people, there probably isn't enough interest in these services and that evident when she said the local hospital has tried to implement outpatient/home care and it went under.
I know exactly what OP is going through because I am from a similar town in Iowa as she described. There's rural areas, and then there's the "boondocks" where you're miles from your neighbors and hours from civilization. There truly is not options in places like that and it is hard to understand unless you have experienced it. It is easy to say do xyz or have you looked into xyz when you come from areas where there's an endless amount of opportunity for a nurse, but it's a whole different world when you live out in the middle of nowhere. And being in school with set exam schedules limits your options even more. I am going through that now. It sounds like she has been looking for options and unfortunately the logistics of the limited options she does have in the area do not work with her exam schedule and with a baby about to be born. Just wanted to give my perspective. I have read through all the comments and I really do understand where OP is coming from because I have lived it. But it is easy to think she's just shooting down suggestions if you have never lived in a place lime the one she is describing. It sounds like she has looked into all her possible options and realized it is just not feasible at the moment and came her to vent and not too feel alone.
Before I say anything else, I would make a recommendation, that you don't make any big changes right now but turn your attention to this blessed gift that is about to come into your life! Congratulations on your pregnancy! For the next 2 years or so, totally focus on getting married, motherhood, and finishing your degree. The local job may be boring but maybe boring is not the worst thing for this short time. Before you know it time will pass and you won't even be 30 yet.
Beyond that...
I get the appeal of having large amount of land and a home that is paid off, with a job that is secure and has good benefits... but really, it sounds to me like it could be a ball & chain that keeps you from adventure and opportunity that you are looking for. Hopefully your husband to be can reconsider his life goals from a different angle.
Think about yourselves 20-30 years from now. You don't want to become resentful and full of regrets. But that is a big possibility if you don't both make some hard choices. Something is going to have to give. Will it be your job/career? Or will it be his? Will it be his house and property? Close proximity to your father-in-law? Or will he give you up/you give him up?
If it's the house and property that gives, it could mean buying a house near the city where you can start your career, he commutes to his job and you still are not more than an hour or two from his dad.
Whatever you choose to do I wish you and your family the best.
Specializes in Post Acute, Home, Inpatient, Hospice/Pall Care.
I have done home health and hospice for many years. Currently as a NP I am doing other things but health in the home is quite incredible. I would suggest you stay where you are at while in school, but I'd start putting together a pitch to your hospital to add home health, and even palliative care/hospice. Do your research and propose why this would be good for your neighbors, believe me it would be. I know IN is seeking FPA and hopefully that happens, if it does you then open your own practice and do whatever you love to do and be your own boss. NP's all over are doing this and are very successful. Primary care in homes is popular because as people age they get out less and less. You could always talk to your one MD office and offer to be their home visiting NP. The last iota of advice I have is to find a place a bit closer to a more active area and you and your fiancé both commute a little bit. Until any of the above mentioned things happen I too would consider remote work. It's there, you've just got to look. You have worked acute care so that gives you a lot of experience. Most big health insurance companies have remote case managers. Just apply to anything remote and interview away! There are also plenty of remote NP jobs that take new grads, I did that part time right out of school. Don't give up, remember you are young, your career is young and you never know what the future brings. NP entrepreneurs are growing, check out what some have done, find inspiration in your future, you can do great things! Congratulations on the baby and your future DNP!
Plus, the house and property is in my boyfriend's name as the property has been passed down in his family and he built the house in his early 20s. It is very important to me to be financially independent.
Ashleynurse101 said:
I have to make my own money and work to be fulfilled. If we were to breakup, I do not want to be in my 30s+ with no house to my name, no savings, no retirement, no investments, etc.
I think to use case scenario although you are happy with your fiancée. NOW is the time to get your wishes/future needs solidified, regarding housing funds,money combined for savings etc. While a public school costs nothing....the supplies are very expensive.
Additionally important ...I think you are in the "nesting" phase of having a baby. The motherly instinct makes you think of housing "your nest" and additional for funding for food. PS where are you and baby going to live??? Disposable diapers, formula are expensive!
Lust4life, BSN
118 Posts
That's a great idea!!