I Feel Stuck - Like My Options Are Limited

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Psychiatric.
I Feel Stuck - Like My Options Are Limited

I have been a nurse for 4 years now. My first year I worked on a med-surg unit at a hospital in the city- about an hour and a half from my house. It was okay but the drive got to be too much especially in the Winter when the hour and a half drive turned into a 3 hour drive or I would have to fork out $150 a night to stay in a hotel because the roads were too bad to drive on. I live in a very small town in Indiana- a population of around 1200. There is only one hospital within an hour drive of me, which is where I currently work.  It is a very small "Band-Aid" hospital with a small ER, a 6 bed ICU where the most intensive thing they do is give blood, and a psychiatric unit which is where I work.

I have been in psych the last 3 years and I am beyond burnt out. It's not that I don't like the job, but to be honest, I do not feel like I do much or help in any way. We see the same patients over and over again and 95% of them just need a place to stay and eat for a few days. I literally pass pills and chit chat with my patients and maybe get an admission or two and that is it. It is monotonous and I am bored. I did travel for a while last year but due to family obligations at the time (helping my mom), I could not travel far and unfortunately the opportunities dried up so I cam back to my old staff job. It is disheartening going from 10k a month to bringing home 2500 a month. I really want to try out another area of nursing but the issue is, there is literally nothing close to me. There are no outpatient centers. There are no nursing homes. Hospice/home health is not a thing around here. There is nothing besides the small hospital I work at and I do not have an interest in working ER or ICU.  There is only a one small doctors office besides the hospital and they are never hiring. The one school in town is also never hiring nurses either. 

 I would love to do L&D or aesthetics but those are not options anywhere close to me. The nearest hospital with an L&D wing near me is over an hour and a half way and they pay is only $1 more than I make now which would not be worth it by the time I paid for gas. Not to mention in the Winter, I would have to get a hotel when the weather is bad since they do not plow my roads.  I looked into aesthetics nursing and every med spa wanted experience or they were a 2 hour drive one way and the pay would literally be my gas money for the week. I am also in grad school- I have 2 more years- and the schedule would not have been feasible with my school as I have set exam times that are not negotiable. I have also looked into remote nursing jobs but they all require experience and the only experience I have is in psych and there are no remote jobs available for this as I have looked for the last year. And the few remote jobs I have qualified for, the schedule was also not feasible with my school/exam schedule. 

And unfortunately, moving is not an option. My boyfriend has worked at his company for over a decade but does not have a college degree. He got lucky and got in at the right time and with his military training, got a high paying job and has worked his way up in his company. But the downside is, that means he is stuck there as he would never have a job that pays as well without a degree. Not to mention he is grandfathered into benefits that are no longer available anywhere really.  I have brought up how I feel about being stuck and he is supportive but also tells me he does not know what to tell me. He did tell me when we first starting dating 5 years ago that he loves his home here, he only has his dad left and he will not leave him, and he cannot just go anywhere and get a job so therefore he will be staying here. He will bring this up and tell me he told me he was staying here and this is something I knew before we got serious.

I am also 7.5 months pregnant (my Nexplanon failed) so that also puts a damper on my plans as well. I had originally planned to go back to travel and go wherever I wanted or just get an apartment or something in the city and work to get experience but that is not going to be possible now with a baby. I just feel so stuck. I had always had big plans and dreams and wanted to travel and see different things but now I feel like I cannot do that.  I feel so lost and dissatisfied and don't know what to do 

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You said you are in school. What is your end game?

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Specializes in Psychiatric.
Wuzzie said:

You said you are in school. What is your end game?

I am halfway through my DNP-FNP. I was doing PMHNP but did not want to limit my options since I am already burnt out in psych. To be honest, I really do not know what my end game is right now

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Well, you are in quite a pickle. What are your job options as an NP in the town you live?

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Specializes in Psychiatric.
Wuzzie said:

Well, you are in quite a pickle. What are your job options as an NP in the town you live?

There really are not any options. My plan was to work at a place an hour away or do remote but I am worried my limited experience will be a drawback, both in my ability to get a job and my ability to be a provider. Plus, that's still 2+ years away 

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Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.

Congrats on your pregnancy!! You are about to be amazed at how a tiny bundle of joy rocks your world. Everything changes. Your priorities shift once that little one comes into your life.

Re: work-there are always ways to improve your situation.

Consider remote work. With the rise of remote work, you may be able to find opportunities that allow you to work from home or a local coworking space. Look for remote job listings or consider freelancing in a field you're passionate about. Register on indeed.com or other job sites.

Start your own business. Look for a need in your community that you can fill, or consider starting an online business that can reach a wider audience. If you have an entrepreneurial spirit, starting your own business, such as freelance writing, could be a great option.

Volunteer  Volunteering can help you develop new skills, expand your network, and even lead to job opportunities. Look for local organizations or causes that you're passionate about and get involved.

Network  Even in a small town, networking can be valuable. Attend local events, join groups related to your interests or industry, and connect with people on social media.

Remember that you may need to be patient and persistent, but there are always ways to find career opportunities, even in a small town. Best wishes ?

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Okay here goes. I think because you have less than 2 months before you become a mom you need to sit tight where you are, realizing that your world is going to completely change in ways you cannot imagine. I get it, you're not happy but it's a job and you are soon going to have a little creature whose needs supersede not liking a job. I also think you should do whatever you can to finish your degree. That piece of paper is going to open amazing windows for you in the future and I don't at all feel you should be forced to subjugate your happiness for everyone else forever  All this being said I also think you and your BF need to have a frank discussion about your future together. While it's true he was honest up front there needs to be a certain amount of mutuality in a successful union and I'm not seeing it in his statements. "It's my way or the highway" mentality seldom works regardless of the fact that you knew it going in. You sound young so I'm not sure you understood the nuance of his stance when he first presented it to you. A few sessions with a couples counselor may be in order to figure things out and I think will benefit you, your BF and most of all your new little one. 

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Specializes in Psychiatric.
Wuzzie said:

Okay here goes. I think because you have less than 2 months before you become a mom you need to sit tight where you are, realizing that your world is going to completely change in ways you cannot imagine. I get it, you're not happy but it's a job and you are soon going to have a little creature whose needs supersede not liking a job. I also think you should do whatever you can to finish your degree. That piece of paper is going to open amazing windows for you in the future and I don't at all feel you should be forced to subjugate your happiness for everyone else forever  All this being said I also think you and your BF need to have a frank discussion about your future together. While it's true he was honest up front there needs to be a certain amount of mutuality in a successful union and I'm not seeing it in his statements. "It's my way or the highway" mentality seldom works regardless of the fact that you knew it going in. You sound young so I'm not sure you understood the nuance of his stance when he first presented it to you. A few sessions with a couples counselor may be in order to figure things out and I think will benefit you, your BF and most of all your new little one. 

Than you for your insight. I had not planned to do anything at the moment and was going to wait until after the baby is here but again, I will be faced with the same limited options. And I was not trying to imply my boyfriend has a my way or highway attitude, more so he is just stating the reality of his situation. He has a very very specific job and the unfortunate drawback is that it does limit his ability to just up and go anywhere and that's not going to change. Before I got pregnant, he told me he would split the bills for an apartment I could stay in if I wanted to work in the city and offered to split gas and a hotel for me when they weather was bad. But obviously I'm not going to be able to be gone 3 days a week with a baby now. And that also wouldn't work with childcare. It's just an all around pickle  

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Specializes in oncology.
Ashleynurse101 said:

I am also 7.5 months pregnant 

Get Married

Ashleynurse101 said:

I had not planned to do anything at the moment and was going to wait until after the baby is here but again,

The piece of paper you need is a marriage license to ensure your baby's future.

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Specializes in Psychiatric.
londonflo said:

Get Married

The piece of paper you need is a marriage license to ensure your baby's future.

We are engaged and have been for a while now. Marriage is not going to fix the limited career options around the area we live 

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Specializes in oncology.
Ashleynurse101 said:

Marriage is not going to fix the limited career options around the area we live 

I do understand that but you have so much on your plate right now it would be an assurance for you and your child's future to have the legal connection.

 

Ashleynurse101 said:

Hospice/home health is not a thing around here.

IS there any service for hospice in your vicinity?  You said there is no nursing home service but where do the elderly go?

Are there an services for home visits for mother-baby? What about babies who need bili lights?

 

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Specializes in Psychiatric.
londonflo said:

I do understand that but you have so much on your plate right now it would be an assurance for you and your child's future to have the legal connection.

 

IS there any service for hospice in your vicinity?  You said there is no nursing home service but where do the elderly go?

Are there an services for home visits for mother-baby? What about babies who need bili lights?

 

No there are no services for the elderly or for babies. The nearest hospital that has any services for babies is about an hour and 15 minutes away. The elderly either have family to care for them, like my boyfriend does to his dad, or they go to a nursing home-the nearest is an hour away, or they are found dead.

The town consists of my small hospital, a doctors office, a school that's an elementary, middle school and high school in one. The graduating classes are usually between 20-25. There are 2 stop lights, a gas station with 2 gas pumps, a 600 square foot post office, 2 mom and pop restaurants, a McDonald's, a small mom and pop grocery store, and a little antique shop. 15 miles north is my boyfriends work. Other than that, it's 50 miles of nothing but cornfields until you even see another building. In the ER, if they need anything more than being stabilized, they are immediately shipped out. Kids are usually sent to Riley's children which is over a 2 hour drive one way but the nearest hospital that has an peds wing or treatment 

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