what should I do with classmate/ friend who won't study but will complain about failing?

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We started school this fall, I became friends with classmate, however everything was doing alright, until she start complaining a lot how she gets bad grades, how the test are so hard and she is struggling.( because she doesn't study that much :)

My point of view, Test isn't that hard if you study a lot and particle nclex questions.I have A's and B's, but lately I been getting mostly A's,since I have been pushing myself extra hard...so should I still be friends with her...I feel like she is slowing me down:(

Specializes in ICU.
I don't think the little groups are based on just grades..its about effort and sharing.plus I woke full time and like to use my time study as much I could.

And you not going to like anyone walking into group when have not full understood the material right?

Yes it does separate on grades. I'm in my third semester and it's happened. The girl's who thought they had the best grades group themselves together and make a big deal of their study group who nobody else can attend. Which doesn't bother me in the least as my grades are good and I'm not there to make friends. But I know it bothers others. And people flock to these girls thinking that their knowledge is gold.

I have a girl really struggling semester. The tests are much harder and she is having a hard time. I've offered every resource I can to her, to help her. I want to help her succeed. If she asked to come to a study group with me, I would never deny her. I've become wonderful friends with one girl. We always have each other's back.

Maybe you are using the term loosely. I just could not imagine shutting out anyone in my cohort. It also sounds like you do a little studying on your own so I'm not sure where she would be bringing you down. Maybe she is so overwhelmed she has no idea where to start. Maybe your study group could help her.

If you had stated that this girl was wanting you to do her work for her, I would get it. But I don't see that here. I just absolutely hate the nursing school cliques.

Who knows, she may get her act together, graduate, pass NCLEX, and land a job quickly. You may need her as a reference or as a way to get your foot in the door with a great job. Why burn bridges now?

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Specializes in ICU.
I don't think the little groups are based on just grades..its about effort and sharing.plus I woke full time and like to use my time study as much I could.

And you not going to like anyone walking into group when have not full understood the material right?

I don't always understand the material. That's why I love my group. We can talk things out and offer different perspectives on how we understood the material.

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Specializes in Oncology, Rehab, Public Health, Med Surg.

What should I do about classmate who won't study.......

Nothing.

Really, nothing.

Either they'll wise up or not pass.

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Specializes in Adult, Trach and Vent.

@heather...I understand ur point of view, but my view is little different from yours . however, I appreciate your input.

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*Sigh* The problem with making friends with a classmate...

Though I agree with you, OP, here is a forewarning:

If you are going to dump this girl, you better hope and pray and pray some more that this girl can take a hint and let bygones be bygones and not be someone like the character Mindy (The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy) or the character Millie (Bob's Burgers) - basically someone who might go as far as to harass you in/outside the classroom.

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Specializes in Adult, Trach and Vent.

@Dtwriter

I don't think she would do that...but I think the problem is only when it's comes to study..otherwise she is great gal!

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You don't have to really worry about her for much longer in my opinion. If she continues on the route she's on she'll end up failing out while you move on up. I experienced this with some of my nursing school "friends" who either didn't try or didn't have what it took to make it through. As time went on the communications became fewer and farther in between until that person just disappears from your life, kind of like old high school friends.

I have ONE friend that I did remain in touch with after they failed the first go around, but this person was so determined that she took time off, studied her behind off and is now an amazing RN!

Just keep trying your best and focus on you! :)

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

This is a great topic. I see this as a problem that solves itself if you apply some honesty.

When students complain that the work is hard, I listen and empathize. If they blame the teacher, I say, "she's tough, but that's good because meeting her standard will make you really competent." If they continue to blame the teacher, I continue to respond with how glad I am to have such a rigorous teacher because of how much I'm going to learn. The vast majority of them go away because that is not what they want to hear. The very few who have not gone away are friends, who appreciate the way I see things.

But this is easy for me because I'm 39, socially secure, selective about who I spend time with, and happy to study alone. When I was 18, it was a different story.

When people ask me how I get As, I tell them because it's no secret. I read the chapters, make notecards, study every day. I always let people look at my notecards, but I also tell them that if they really want the information to stick they should write it out themselves.

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If she's actually "failing," then the problem will solve itself, right?

I don't think you have to "do" anything.

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I was going to ask a similar question the other day! Only this person I consider I'm a friend to and I want to tell her something to help her. Some people just need to vent but then they should be showing improvement not making the same mistakes over and over. And it does suck some life out of you, having enough to worry about yourself.

You can ask her "what are you doing about that" or what will she do. My friend is getting C's barely because she's not studying as much as she could and instead going to parties or events then blaming the teacher or her schedule.

When I say "what are you going to do" she'll answer..but not do what she says.

Unless she gets it together I don't think she'll make it next semester so I want to help her but there's only so much anyone can do. It's not going to be my fault if she fails, or in your case it won't be yours if this person fails out.

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Unless she gets it together I don't think she'll make it next semester so I want to help her but there's only so much anyone can do. It's not going to be my fault if she fails, or in your case it won't be yours if this person fails out.

You got that right!

Not everyone has the chops for nursing. In spite of all the threads we see saying "Don't ever give up on your dream!", there simply are people who either don't want to work hard enough or don't have the intellectual capacity to make it in nursing. It's a fact. They probably actually have amazing ability in another field, and sometimes it takes failure in one area to drive a person to find their true talents in another area/industry.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Groups can be beneficial IF they are inclusive ( I hate cliques too) and EVERYone does his or her share of the work load.

I found the groups in my school to be useless and several had not even bothered to read the material we were studying.

So I quit the groups, formed my own system and did great without them.

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