I am Afraid. Please Pray for Me.

What would your reaction be if your patient asked you to pray with them? Would you feel uncomfortable? Would you be able to grant his/her request? When is it OK to pray with a patient? How should we pray? What can you do as a nurse to support the spiritual needs of your patient.

Updated: Oct 4, 2020

Many of us view the healthcare setting as a place of employment where we we are comfortable. To patients, however, this medical setting is a maze with frightening and uncertain twists and turns, ups and downs into which they have entered, usually not by choice. They do not know the language, and quite often do not get adequate interpretation to fully understand their condition. This is especially frightening when they are called upon to make monumental decisions that can have life-changing consequences.

As nurses, we become part of their hospital experience. We have the opportunity to walk beside patients and their families as they travel down the complicated healthcare pathway. They grow to trust the nurses who care for them looking to them for information and support.

Many times they are seeking spiritual support during these stressful times. When faced with serious or life-threatening medical conditions, patients and their family members are more likely to turn to their faith to cope with the associated anxieties. Sometimes they seek the help of the healthcare team to meet their spiritual needs.

In my job as a Parish Nurse, I encounter requests for prayer quite frequently from patients, families, and other healthcare staff. One of my main roles as a parish nurse is to address and meet the spiritual needs of the patient, both in and out of the hospital setting. I have been very blessed and privileged to to have the opportunity to walk alongside individuals and families as they face difficult decisions regarding healthcare.

Many times this happens when trying to decide appropriate treatment in crisis situations. At times requests come to pray with family members when they are trying to decide whether or not to terminate treatment when the prognosis looks grim

At these times I will talk with them and listen to their concerns and questions. I cannot always give them the answers they are searching for, but I can try to be a calming presence with a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear, or a gentle touch. And I can certainly pray with them upon their request or with their permission.

What would your reaction be if your patient or the patient's family asked you to pray with them?

Many nurses will feel comfortable and confident enough to pray with patients as well as to listen to their spiritual concerns. Others may be willing to pray but are uncomfortable. Still others would be more comfortable seeking the services of the hospital chaplain.

Following are some things nurses need to remember when praying with patients.

It is not appropriate to pray aloud with/for every patient without patient request. If the patient requests prayer, talk with them to determine how they would prefer to pray. Some may want to pray silently, others will want to pray out loud in the nurse's presence. Others will want to nurse to lead the prayer, while others may ask the nurse to keep remember them in their prayers. "Would you like a spoken or unspoken prayer?"
In order to provide respectful care, it is necessary to refrain from using the clinical setting or professional authority to promote any type of religion or particular spiritual practices. Be attuned to the patient's spiritual beliefs and use that as a guideline. Do not use this as an opportunity to proselytize.
Clarify with the patient what will be most helpful. Don't assume you know what they need or want. Ask the patient what they would like for you to pray for or about. "For what would you like me to pray?"

Whether or not nurses should pray with patients has been the topic of much controversy. Meeting the spiritual needs of patients is definitely part of the nurse's responsibilities as she/he attempts to provide holistic care. These needs may be fulfilled directly by the nurse or via referral to the chaplain or clergy of the patient's choice.

When praying with the patient, always be respectful of their beliefs, don't assume you know what they want or need, and certainly do not impose your beliefs upon them. Always examine your motives for praying and ask yourself....."Whose needs am I trying to meet?"

To read more articles, such as When Nurses Cry, go to my AN blog: Body, Mind, and Soul