From the Other Side of the Bed Rails - When the Nurse Becomes the Patient

[lauramae18]

This was a well written perspective! Thanks for your insight.

[oramar]

I had an interesting experience today. I walked into a hematology/oncology office .........but this time as the patient. It's strange how much different it feels when you, the nurse, suddenly become the patient. It looks much different through the patient's eyes.

I looked around at the people in the waiting room, wondering.......what's wrong with that lady? Does she have cancer? Poor thing. Then I thought...gee.....maybe she's wondering the same thing about me. I wanted to reassure her, that I was not really sick......just something wrong with my blood. I don't have cancer......nothing that bad......but what do I have?? I have been asking myself this for several weeks......since the day that I realized that something wasn't quite right. Then when my blood tests came back abnormal and my primary care physician referred me to a hematologist....who just happens to be an oncologist........that just seemed very strange. Hey......I am the one who helps other people deal with this kind of information. But now it's me.

The nurse who took me back to the room was very nice. In fact, everyone was very nice. Very soft spoken and reassuring. Again, I wanted to tell then......I'm not sick.....not really. Not like the other patients. But still, I wondered.......what will they find out is wrong with me. Oh.....it's probably nothing. Nothing really bad.......or at least I hope and pray. Prayer.........been doing a whole lot of that lately. Oh I always pray....but it's usually for other people.

Then came the questions. Oh I hope I remember to tell him everything. What was that he just said??? Hmmm........I'm having trouble remembering the order in which things happened. I hope I don't sound like an idiot. I am a nurse and should know this stuff. Oh yeah.....I remember reading about that when I was googling things trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Good thing I brought my notebook with my list of questions. Now why did he ask that? Does he think I have that??? Oh my. He wants to order what test??? Why??? When will I get the results...........

Then I was ushered to the lab. Again.......the lab tech was very nice and reassuring. But when I saw all of the vials that she was going to fill with my blood.........I did get a little queasy. The tourniquet felt tight.....I turned my head. Ouch.....it did pinch a bit. How long is this going to take?? Sure....I'm fine. I would sure be embarrassed if I fainted. I have to go where to get what other test?? Why.......... Where exactly do I go? When? OK. Come back in 3 weeks??? Seems like a long time to wait. OK. Sure that date is fine. Wonder what I'll find out then??????

This is not the first time I have been on the receiving end of medical care........on the other side of the bed rails, so to speak. Each time, I learn something new....something I can use to make me a better nurse..... treating others as I would wish to be treated. Today, I realized how much a reassuring and caring voice means to a patient who may be afraid of what they might hear or what they might experience. It might seem like a small thing when we as nurses take a few more minutes to offer compassionate caring......to meet the emotional needs of the patient.......but to the patient, it helps alleviate some of the worries and fears, thereby lowering the stress level. While we can't always offer a solution or reason why things are happening, we can always take the time to show genuine compassion.

Would it be to intrusive of me to ask the author to let us know how she is doing? I feel a little concerned.

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

Would it be to intrusive of me to ask the author to let us know how she is doing? I feel a little concerned.

Thanks for your concern. The author is waiting right now.......for results and more tests. Still trying to learn from this........waiting......waiting.....waiting..... That is the hard part. Of course the imagination thinks of all sorts of scenarios.

[lpnstudentin2010, LPN]

keep us updated please?

[emmalou*]

Yes, thank you for sharing, I hope all goes well, waiting for test results can be an anxious time.

[Chapis]

will say a prayer for you tonight. hope it all comes back good!

[lsad78]

Had an experience with my youngest daughter being critically ill for a prolonged period of time...The waiting is the hardest part...As a nurse it is so much HARDER (our minds tend to run away with us, especially to the worst case scenario)...God grant you peace and ease of mind very very soon!

[dianabay]

Take good care, and please let us know what happens.

Sending positive energy and thoughts your way....

Di

[pednursedeb]

Take care. My thoughts and prayers are with you. It is quiet different when you or a family member is the patient. You stated it well

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

While I really did not post this with the intention of seeking sympathy, I really appreciate all of the encouragement, prayers, and concerns expressed. What I wanted to do was to raise awareness of how it feels on "the other side of the bed rails". We come in contact with patients going through similar situations on a daily basis. It is part of our job....... But we need to always try to make it part of our job to try to see things through the eyes of our patients and their families and do everything we can to lower their level of stress and anxiety. We can't always take away the pain and suffering, but we can lessen it with true compassion.

I would like for members to feel free to share experiences when you or your family were "on the other side of the bed rails". How did you feel? How do you think your being a nurse affected the experience? How easy was it for you to be in the role of the patient?

Had an experience with my youngest daughter being critically ill for a prolonged period of time...The waiting is the hardest part...As a nurse it is so much HARDER (our minds tend to run away with us, especially to the worst case scenario)...God grant you peace and ease of mind very very soon!

Please feel free to share your feelings about this experience. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, God is a very big help all the time, but especially in times like this.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your path."

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

I have scoliosis. 3 curves, lumbar, thoracic, cervical. And I wore a Milwaukee brace for 4 years as a teenager. The years where I should have been the most carefree were instead a constant stream of doctor's appointments, specialists, and a near miss with a surgeon.

The one time I remember most is going to "back clinic" when I was 13. I was told to wait in a room, by myself, dressed only in my underwear and the brace. In comes my doc and 5 or 8 medical students. I was discussed and turned and prodded and my xrays compared to my back with pokes from their fingers. Never did anyone address me by name, or treat me like anything but "the 3 curve case." They left me standing there, practically naked, in tears, and went on to the next "case."

I obviously wasn't a nurse then, but when I have a patient now and the doc comes in acting like the patient's a lab experiment gone awry, I make a point of saying, "This is Joan, and she grows orchids." or "This is Mrs. Smith, and I think her kids go to the same school yours do, doc." I try to make them see a person, not a disease.

When something bad's happening, and the patient is scared, I take 10 seconds to explain, "Okay, Mr. Smith, your blood doesn't have as much oxygen as we'd like, so we're going to put a different mask on you you, and draw blood to see exactly what's going on." Because I know what it's like to be 13 years old and a group of strangers just discussed the risk of paralyzing you with surgery, deciding it was an "acceptable risk," and walking out of the room without explaining anything to you. I will never forget what that felt like, and it gave birth to my own personal nursing motto:

They may not remember what you said or did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.