I'm sorry you were insulted. My husband tells me he doesn't smell the illeostomy odor. That's good for him, but I've had to teach him not to burp his bag in public, which he has done. Now he at least goes to a bathroom. I'm sorry for him, but I also don't want him to embarrass himself out in public or at church.
Changing his bag doesn't really bother me, but it does have an odor and I have used lotion under my nose and things like that to help. He doesn't even know.
I do think he needs to learn to change the bag himself. If something happened to me what would he do? He just doesn't want to learn. He'll empty the bag and look at the stoma, so I don't think that's part of it, I think it's just easier for him if I do it. I just worry that if one day I'm not there and it needs changing he'll be in a fix.
Good luck to you and your child. An illeostomy is a tough thing to have to deal with as an adult, much less a child.