How To Say No

allnurses Guide · May 12, 2005

When I wasa a staff nurse I just said "No sorry". Now I'm a manager when I call people to work extra I try not to sound desperate or make them feel guilty even if they're my last hope. I hope that if I do that may be the next time I call and they're free to help they will come in rather than saying no 'cos I didn't ask politely the previous time. These are your days off, you're entitled to them and no should be sufficient. Of course I do like the "I've had a couple of beers" excuse I remember using a similar one when a supervisor wouldn't take no for an answer

I work as the nursing supervisor/ER nurse occasionally and so have to deal with staffing issues. I do the same thing if I can - just ask. Don't do the guilt trip thing. You are right - it makes a person even more apt to say no when they really are available.

steph

live4today, RN · May 12, 2005

Alright, the phone is always ringing, and there are always messages on my cell. I want to go in and help out, but most weeks I've already answered the call and gone in for someone or another, or am scheduled to pick up someone elses shift. If you have to or want to say no how do you get it done? I tend to ramble on about what I have to get done that day, or say I've already picked up a shift this week for someone else, but no matter what I hang up feeling like a sludge. What's your "no, I'm sorry I can't work" speech? Thank you!

I let my yea be yea, and my no be no. No further discussion or explanation or rationale need be given. JUST SAY NO!!!

live4today, RN · May 12, 2005

Sounds to me like another good reason for caller ID and answering machine.....................................................................
That's the story and I'm sticking to it!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Blackcat99 · May 13, 2005

My mother has Alzheimer's. She is very forgetful. Unfortunately, she still knows how to answer the phone. I work night shift and she ALWAYS wakes me up for any kind of phone calls. :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire

Mystery5 · May 13, 2005

One trick I've done is to say that, if they really get desparate, they can put me 'on call', which means that I'll only do it for time and a half. But, now I just won't work extra at all. I have kids, their father is dead, they are my first priority, and I also need to preserve my own emotional well being.

SharonH, RN · May 13, 2005

When I was younger and newer it was very hard for me to say no. These days, it is very easy. It finally dawned on me that my work supervisors truly do not care about me as a person, or care about what goes on in my personal life. Nor are they supposed to; that's my job, my responsibility to those I love.

Precisely. And you should always consider this: they have no qualms about cancelling you if they don't need you. I don't care what they say about being a "team" and being a "family", the truth is that you have a business relationship only. Keeping all that in mind makes it a lot easier to say NO and if they want to know why, I say "Because I don't want to". That usually ends any further inquiry.

bodango · May 13, 2005

Hi I'm pretty new to the forum I just noticed this discussion and I had to comment. At my previous job (fast food for many years) It finally got to where no one would even try to call me in, but now I am a senior BSN student (graduate in December ) and I am currently working in a local ER as a tech. and they try to call me all the time. I have a hard time saying no mainly because I am scheduled to start an internship soon, and my senior practicum next semester is in the same ER. I guess i'm worried i'll anger the management if I don't come in since I'm gonna be there for the next few months. I have a very full plate so to speak and most of the time when I am called I do have previous obligations (family owned business). I only have a few more weeks as a tech and then I will start the internship. I will be working 6 12's and off 8 days set schedule. At first I was a bit concerned but I think it should work out because I can continue taking care of the family business during the 8 off days. The six days on are split so that it will not be overtime but I am not supposed to be allowed to do overtime during this program. I guess I'll just have to wait and see how that goes.

I do not mind when people try to call me in, but it does irritate me when the person expects an explanation as to why you can't work. If this were my previous job I would probably be more candid when asked for an explanation or reason why I can't come in. I believe whether you work 10hrs a week or 60 no one should be asked why they can't come in. If I ever worked at a facility where this came up at eval time or had any effect on pay I would not stay there very long. It's my day off and I am not obligated to be there, I do not owe you an explanation.

crjnursewarrior · May 13, 2005

"Sorry, I have other plans" (yeah, to watch my flowers grow )
"I'd love to help, but I just can't manage it today" (or any other, for that matter)
"Oh, that wouldn't be possible today, sorry" (Maybe the DNS can help out!:chuckle )
"Thanks for thinking of me, but I can't today" (All this kindness is killing me!:angryfire )
"I'm washing my hair today..." (LOL)
"Not tonight, I have a terrible headache"
"Sorry, I don't accept solicitations over the phone...Oh, this is work, not a telemarketer?"
Gee, I'd love to help, but I just drank two beers...:cheers:

Excellent post...couldn't have said it better! :rotfl:

crjnursewarrior · May 13, 2005

Sounds to me like another good reason for caller ID and answering machine. They certainly couldn't prove you ever even heard the message, or maybe you didn't get the message until the shift was already over with.
That's the story and I'm sticking to it!
I'd be sure to write that on the bottom of the evaluation, never got the message(s).

I agree with Mulan...I always say my kids deleted the message...which HAS happened. ANd if they speak directly to one of the kids "I never get messages from the kids...you may as well have been leaving it with the dog." :uhoh21: And like Mulan said...they can't hold you responsible for not getting the message and I would also write it on any evaluation as was mentioned. :rotfl: JMHO

crjnursewarrior · May 13, 2005

My mother has Alzheimer's. She is very forgetful. Unfortunately, she still knows how to answer the phone. I work night shift and she ALWAYS wakes me up for any kind of phone calls. :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire

My kids have done the same thing...turn the ringer off before you lay down! Works like a charm!!

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 13, 2005

"I'm sorry, no I can't come in". If there's a message, I don't call back.

:)

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · May 13, 2005

I was a nursing staffing coordinator long before I became a nurse. All I wanted was a "no". If I left a message I didn't want a call back unless you wanted to pick up extra shifts. I did not want to hear reasons. I hated feeling like I was hounding people. The requirement was a call to every staff member who was off before i could call in agency staff. I was just doing what was required. So - just say no or don't call back. I am sure that is all they want. Same thing with sick calls. Didn't want to hear how many vomiting episodes. If you say you are sick that was good enough for me and the rest was not my business. Just thought I would offer an opinion based on previous experience.