How To Say No

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Alright, the phone is always ringing, and there are always messages on my cell. I want to go in and help out, but most weeks I've already answered the call and gone in for someone or another, or am scheduled to pick up someone elses shift. If you have to or want to say no how do you get it done? I tend to ramble on about what I have to get done that day, or say I've already picked up a shift this week for someone else, but no matter what I hang up feeling like a sludge. What's your "no, I'm sorry I can't work" speech? Thank you!

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No speech....just plain old No can't make it :) I don't feel a need to give excuses..it's MY day off, nobody's business what, if anything I have planned.

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When I was a new grad I felt the same way as you do now. I got a call almost everyday that I was not working. I felt that if I said no I would be letting my co-workers down. For the first year or so that I worked they really abused me, saying things like you're my last hope blah, blah, blah. After one particularly terrible extra shift that they had called me in for was the breaking point. I thought to myself who comes first the hospital or my own health and sanity. When work calls me now I just say no I can't or something along those lines, sure I still feel a bit guilty but I get over that feeling, all I can say is the more you say no the easier it gets.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

"I'm sorry I can't help you out ... but I other plans."

No need to explain those plans.

llg

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The easiest way to handle it is to have caller ID and an answering machine, and don't answer the phone when they call, let the machine pick up, and then ignore the message.

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The easiest way to handle it is to have caller ID and an answering machine, and don't answer the phone when they call, let the machine pick up, and then ignore the message.

That is what I do Mulan . ..

Once I answer the phone, usually I can just say no but sometimes I get a guilt trip from the caller and that can be hard to stop yourself from making some comments . . .

I keep telling myself "I am not the answer to their staffing problems".

That said, I do go in and help at time. I don't always say no. But my family comes first.

steph

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My supervisor already knows I am totally booked up for the month of May. However, that doesn't stop her from calling continually anyway. I just tell her I am exhausted, have a lot of stuff to do and have to get some sleep. She always tries to make me feel guilty. :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire

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Specializes in Clinical Risk Management.

When asked by previous supervisors, I've replied, "No, thank you." My health & my family's well-being always come first. After all, we work to finance the lives we lead. Work is not our lives.

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Specializes in Correctional Nursing, Geriatrics.

I agree with the other posters, the best way is to keep it short and sweet, "Sorry, but I can't. I have other plans." Or another thing is, if you have children..."I don't have a babysitter." That is what I usually say because it is usually the case. It is hard enough finding daycare for my scheduled shifts. I am fortunate enough to have WONDERFUL parents who watch my children on the days I work. I have a regular schedule, and I try not to vary from it because I need and THEY need their days off. My supervisor understands, as I make it very clear UP FRONT that my KIDS are the #1 priority in my life...not the job. Now, I have helped out at times, and I will pick up an occasional extra shift, but I have done and do my share, so I don't feel guilty when I don't. And like Mulan said...the caller ID...let the voice mail answer...no guilt involved there! :coollook: :rolleyes:

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The first time is the hardest. Once you actually say it, it gets easier, and sooner or later they just quit asking. They will find some other person that will say yes, usually a new grad.

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When I was younger and newer it was very hard for me to say no. These days, it is very easy. It finally dawned on me that my work supervisors truly do not care about me as a person, or care about what goes on in my personal life. Nor are they supposed to; that's my job, my responsibility to those I love. They have their job to do---staff the hospital--and I have mine, which is to work my assigned days and then my other "job", which is my personal life, which is no concern of theirs. I try not to let my personal life infringe on the obligated time to my job, and I definitely do not let my job infringe on my personal life.

I don't feel guilty anymore, because I've worked many a short shift, and we have always made it through. The "last hope" is just a gimmick, to make that person's job easier, because if you say yes, then she/he is done with their job. Don't fall for it; they will absolutely use you up if you let them. It's your duty to yourself and to your loved ones to say no. Never put your work above your own self.

As for what I say, (on the rare occasions that they call me, because I always say no) I just say, in a nice tone of voice, "no, I'm sorry, I can't today". If they were to persist, I would just keep repeating, "no I'm sorry, I can't today." I never give them a reason why I can't. And I always keep a friendly tone in my voice.

You can do it, after you've said no a few times, it gets easier. Remember, they WILL make it without you, so don't fall for that.

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I always say" thanks for asking, but no I can't."

You don't need to say why - it's not public knowledge.

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