How to stop crying at clinicals?

caliotter3 · Mar 7, 2015

Seek counseling is all I can advise. It might help you to develop the mental strength to control yourself at work. If you don't learn how to control yourself now, you may find yourself not succeeding at nursing.

flyersfan88 · Mar 7, 2015

"Honey, you'll never learn if you don't try."

That's not a nasty remark. It's true. If I found myself in an unfamiliar situation in school (or even now) I say, "I've never done this before, can you help me?" Never let 'not getting to it in class yet' be an excuse for not trying something new. You're only hindering your own learning.

Unfortunately, you are going to encounter nasty people/families throughout your entire career. What happened to you with the baby's family is horrific, no doubt anyone would've been upset, but if you let it keep affecting you, you're going to hinder your learning. A big key to success in nursing is NOT taking this job home with you. As you're already learning, you'll never survive if you do.

Sure, nurses are compassionate/caring/blahblahblah, but first and foremost you need thick skin and to worry about yourself. Mean people will never go away but you can change the way you handle what they say to you.

**edit - I see you edited your post and omitted a lot of original details, so my reply may not make complete sense to everyone else.

CryssieD · Mar 8, 2015

We see so much pain in our daily lives--more than most people realize, I think. It is part of nursing. The thing is, you get emotionally overwhelmed by things you feel you have no control over; as a nurse, you will learn that there are things you can do to help (control, ease, and manage) in all kinds of situations--your knowledge and experience will be used to shepherd people through these rough patches in their lives. You will be the rock and foundation for other people because you have such valuable knowledge and experience, and you will be better able to handle your own emotions because you will not feel as helpless.

roser13, ASN, RN · Mar 8, 2015

Can you elaborate on which type of situations lead you to tears?

vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN · Mar 8, 2015

I didn't read your original post, but could kind of gather some details thru the previous posters well written and compassionate response.

My advice, having been there done that as far as crying:

I only cried in clinicals 2x. Both were responses to seeing people pass away or their family grieving. I was embarrassed because I thought it looked unprofessional on my part.

My clinical instructor told me later that it's ok to be display compassion by crying with grieving people. She assured me it didn't make me a bad person.

I also cried at my first job during an staff in service on the topic of dementia. For the simple reason that my grandmother has dementia. I wax embarrassed but shook it off.

Fast forward about 6-9 months into my job as a nurse, I never cried at work or about work, but I began having crying jags all the time. In those instances, it was due to work stress from supervisors. In those cases, my anxiety simply made me feel on edge all the time.

I sought help from my medical providers but waited too long before I sought help. If you need help with anxiety and that's leading you to cry, and you are unable to cope, I urge you to seek professional help.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Mar 8, 2015

I saw the original comment before it was edited, so I will comment without divulging sensitive information.

Like you, I've been called racial slurs by patients and families before, but instead of crying, I respond, "This conversation is over. When you are ready to call me by my name, we can talk again, but I am not a ******." Then I exit the room.

I do not cry when dealing with hateful people. I lay out my boundaries and stick to them because I will not allow some spiteful person to rent my valuable mental space.

Perhaps it is due to my age (I am 34). You are very young. Perhaps it is due to my difficulty with emotionally attaching to people whom I do not know. However, I do not allow anyone to bring me to tears.

My advice is to seek counseling or professional help. In addition, I suspect that more life experience will bestow upon you the wisdom and grace to deal with difficult people without breaking down. Good luck to you and keep your chin up.

ShelbyaStar · Mar 8, 2015

I didn't see the op but I'll agree with the commuter that it gets easier as you get older. Every little thing used to set me off and now it rarely does. I'm sorry you've dealt with nasty people. It has no reflection on you.

canigraduate · Mar 8, 2015

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.

I'll tell you how I keep it in at work.

1) I believe crying in front of others is a weakness, so I rarely do it unless I am devastated.

2) If I have to cry, I leave and hide immediately, whether it's in a stairwell, a bathroom stall, whatever, and give myself ten minutes. Five for crying, five for hiding it.

3) I have an anger reaction to pain, so sometimes I pinch myself or bite my tongue to drown out the need to cry.

4) I play the song "Stand By Me" in my head, specifically the part where it says "I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear."

5) This part took years, but I have learned not to care as much about what other people say to me. I have also had some really bad things said to me, so now it takes a lot for me to even notice when someone is being nasty.

I hope this helps.

Barnstormin' PMHNP · Mar 8, 2015

I am 50 and I cry fairly easily (commercials, news stories, when I get really mad I cry too, I can't win lol) I am better at controlling it now, but I sing or hum Sia's song "Titanium" when I am close to losing it. ..........Mean people ****, chin up.

ClaraRedheart, BSN, RN · Mar 8, 2015

Heh :) Been there, done that. Not sure i'm the best person to be advising you, because I cry when I'm stressed. I'm finding that things that stress me out tend to be fewer and less occurring the more I put myself out there. My first two clinicals as a nursing student, I saw stars and had to excuse myself from rooms. First time was a patient with an NG tube then the doctor was visiting. Second time was an MD doing a blood patch for a post epidural patient with a volume loss headache. Doctors make me nervous. Sterile fields make me nervous. Blood and needles... I absolutely hate. I've gotten over most of this, and you can... and will too. I'm sure that I'll eventually be fine with the rest of my hospital related phobias too. My mom talked me into nursing... I was leaning towards a photography major. She said "You like people right?", "Yeah, I like people." "You'll get over the hospital problems". She was right. Mostly. Hang in their chica. You're not the only one :)

blaireau · Mar 8, 2015

I didn't see the original post, so I can't reply fully. But from what the others have said, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that kind of nastiness. Hang in there!

As other people said, awful things get easier to deal with the older you get and the more practice you have.

When I feel like I'm going to cry but I know I shouldn't, I focus on my breathing and drink some water. I also count in my head. This stuff helps whether I'm angry or sad or both. If at all possible, get some distance from that situation. Remove yourself physically, even if you can't mentally.

And reach out to others. Talk about it with friends, family, and coworkers. If you know that people have your back, that might give you some extra strength.

All the best for the future!