So I'm in the car with my fiance and future in-laws...somehow the topic of shall we say "cleaning patients up" came up. My soon to be mother-in-law looks shocked when I reply that I do this every night at work, as she replies, "You have to clean patients at work?? Where my mom lives, only the aides do and those girls work really hard! They should get paid more than the nurses. All nurses ever do is give meds."
WOAH. What??? Like I get aides do a lot of dirty work and I respect them for all they do but what?? How about the education nurses receive and the critical thinking we need to incorporate into "just giving meds." UGH I am beyond frustrated. I didn't even respond to her, mostly because I was in shock that that statement came out of her mouth knowing that her future daughter-in-law is a nurse...but now that it has been a few hours since, I wish I could have set her straight.:grn:
What are you thoughts? How would you have responded?
I have had and continue to have the same issue with my mother in law and grandmother in law and have educated them a couple times. They have both been hospitalized before and should know better. I understand that they do not see all that goes into taking care of each patient...oh well, not worth the time or frusteration of argueing. They would like to think that working as an RN 5 days + per week approx 10 hour days is not too stressful or difficult...nothing like working in IT....whatever...I am not playing games.
I probably would have let it slide, although that comment would have irritated me, too! Nurses are way more than just "glorified pill pushers." Unfortunately, unless someone has been in the hospital, they don't really know what nurses really do.
One thing I remember from my pre-marriage counseling was to "let blood deal with blood" - so, your FH deals with his parents and you deal with yours. Sometimes my in-laws drive me nuts but when I let my husband handle it, it's all good :)
so i'm in the car with my fiance and future in-laws...somehow the topic of shall we say "cleaning patients up" came up. my soon to be mother-in-law looks shocked when i reply that i do this every night at work, as she replies, "you have to clean patients at work?? where my mom lives, only the aides do and those girls work really hard! they should get paid more than the nurses. all nurses ever do is give meds."
woah. what??? like i get aides do a lot of dirty work and i respect them for all they do but what?? how about the education nurses receive and the critical thinking we need to incorporate into "just giving meds." ugh i am beyond frustrated. i didn't even respond to her, mostly because i was in shock that that statement came out of her mouth knowing that her future daughter-in-law is a nurse...but now that it has been a few hours since, i wish i could have set her straight.:grn:
what are you thoughts? how would you have responded?
here is the reason why the public's perception is that anyone can become a nurse. this is why my job (as a professor) has increasingly become more difficult.
regarding your response: unless your mil really saw what you went through as a student, it's probably pointless to entertain a discussion on it.
So I'm in the car with my fiance and future in-laws...somehow the topic of shall we say "cleaning patients up" came up. My soon to be mother-in-law looks shocked when I reply that I do this every night at work, as she replies, "You have to clean patients at work?? Where my mom lives, only the aides do and those girls work really hard! They should get paid more than the nurses. All nurses ever do is give meds."
WOAH. What??? Like I get aides do a lot of dirty work and I respect them for all they do but what?? How about the education nurses receive and the critical thinking we need to incorporate into "just giving meds." UGH I am beyond frustrated. I didn't even respond to her, mostly because I was in shock that that statement came out of her mouth knowing that her future daughter-in-law is a nurse...but now that it has been a few hours since, I wish I could have set her straight.:grn:
What are you thoughts? How would you have responded?
Just pretend you are a Bobble-head (nod up and down with a blank expression and vague smile). She has no idea what she is talking about and my guess is that she is controlling and ALWAYS right, and I am sure your fiance knows this. More important is how your fiance looks at the mother-in -law. I do not mean getting mad at them for not jumping in and defending you, but rather that the fiance knows how you feel. YOU can not say anything or you will forever be the evil daughter (or son) in law.
You did the right thing, this person has no idea what they are talking about and therefore you should NOT care what they say. She probably did not even equate you with THOSE other nurses at her mothers' care facility. She reminds me of my father in law who is always telling me what is wrong with my house, just no manners and tact.
My fiance once asked why i had to go to school for 5 years "to give medications" and LPN's get it done in a year. he was like "Isnt that the same thing? Why would you go for 5 years to learn that when you could go for a year to learn that?"
theres much more to nursing than "handing out pills" and making sure they take them.
i was a CNA, and as a CNA i always got frustrated with the nurses for never doing anything but charting and being on the phone. Now that im a nurse, i understand.
I get so wrapped up in things like physicians calling me, other disciplines calling me for report like PT, OT, XRay, CT etc., Dealing with narcaotics which seems to take like 20 minutes to give a simple ativan pill., Charting assessments, wounds, positioning, admissions, discharges, social workers...
the list goes on and on.
we do much much more than people think. They just don't know. Our patients don't even know.
Granted, this is coming from a student, but from my current view point, working with one patient at a time kills me, but when you consider that nurses have 5+ patients each, for 12 hr shifts, the thoughts make me want to run screaming from my clinical site!
I would have given her a run-down of what you do in a shift:
- Assessments
- Med pass
- Dressing changes
- Foley inserts
- Dealing with lab/doc
- etc.
I had a similar interaction with a student not in the nursing program a week or so ago on campus at the cafeteria. We were in line, and I had on my uniform (I was in lab that day), anyway, she asked me if I was in the RN or LPN program (my school uses the same uniform for each). "RN," I said proudly. Her response floored me, so to speak, "I think I'd want to do the LPN program, you get paid almost the same, and there's only one class different anyway. RN doesn't seem that hard."
Now, granted, LPNs are nurses, and I'm not down-playing the importance that they have to the healthcare setting, but there is a BIG difference in LPN and RN.
Of course, one of the biggest, at least at my school, is the education level. RN is an ADN program and LPN is a diploma. That means there are two semesters difference between the two programs, and in those two semesters, 6 courses.
I simply responded that if that was what she thought, she may need to speak: to the program coordinator or dean and get a rundown of the difference, and walked away!
This reminds me of my dad's slip-up last weekend. I don't remember exactly what we were talking about, but he said something along the lines of "Oh, when you're waiting on someone you can't_____." My face said it all and he quickly corrected himself. And this is the guy that I vent to about work all the time. Just goes to show how much education it takes to teach people that we are not highly paid waiters/waitresses. We are trained professionals and the eyes and ears of the doctors that you see once a day.
I would have, said," i wish... theres alot more to being an RN than passing pills.... if it were my only responsibility at work, i would live there...." or something to that effect....... clearly she has no idea, like the rest of the world, what we do or the education it requires to do it.
kelll
39 Posts
I have had and continue to have the same issue with my mother in law and grandmother in law and have educated them a couple times. They have both been hospitalized before and should know better. I understand that they do not see all that goes into taking care of each patient...oh well, not worth the time or frusteration of argueing. They would like to think that working as an RN 5 days + per week approx 10 hour days is not too stressful or difficult...nothing like working in IT....whatever...I am not playing games.