richardOR

Just pretend you are a Bobble-head (nod up and down with a blank expression and vague smile). She has no idea what she is talking about and my guess is that she is controlling and ALWAYS right, and I am sure your fiance knows this. More important is how your fiance looks at the mother-in -law. I do not mean getting mad at them for not jumping in and defending you, but rather that the fiance knows how you feel. YOU can not say anything or you will forever be the evil daughter (or son) in law. You did the right thing, this person has no idea what they are talking about and therefore you should NOT care what they say. She probably did not even equate you with THOSE other nurses at her mothers' care facility. She reminds me of my father in law who is always telling me what is wrong with my house, just no manners and tact.

AWESOME!!! You just made my day!!

I am so sorry for you having to go through this. I have worked with first responders/military/public safety for a long time and there are many people who exhibit these types of characteristics. I had a colleague that used to call them adrenaline junkies, glory hounds or maybe stress addicts (which I think I may be.) Not really sure if there is a great way to handle someone who is amped up on the fight or flight rush, sometimes they can even be good, though probably not in a hospital environment. Best advice I can give is to be the utility player, plug the gaps that others create when they are not thinking clearly, and be the voice of reason if they are making mistakes. DON'T be pushed around if you are right, but don't look for conflict just because they are being aggressive either. Docs and more experiences personnel will notice how calm and cool you are under pressure with others flopping all over the place.