How would you respond to this??

[nurse678]

So I'm in the car with my fiance and future in-laws...somehow the topic of shall we say "cleaning patients up" came up. My soon to be mother-in-law looks shocked when I reply that I do this every night at work, as she replies, "You have to clean patients at work?? Where my mom lives, only the aides do and those girls work really hard! They should get paid more than the nurses. All nurses ever do is give meds."

WOAH. What??? Like I get aides do a lot of dirty work and I respect them for all they do but what?? How about the education nurses receive and the critical thinking we need to incorporate into "just giving meds." UGH I am beyond frustrated. I didn't even respond to her, mostly because I was in shock that that statement came out of her mouth knowing that her future daughter-in-law is a nurse...but now that it has been a few hours since, I wish I could have set her straight.:grn:

What are you thoughts? How would you have responded?

[AgentBeast, BSN, RN]

Not really worth the effort, or the hard feelings that would come about from saying something. Most folks have no idea exactly do, other than wiping butts and passing pills.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

Stopped the car and wish her a nice walk home :)

[Dixielee, BSN, RN]

You have to choose your battles carefully! Since this is your future MIL, I would just say something benign. As she gets to know you over the next few years, you will have the opportunities to slowly educate her as to what nurses really do and the tremendous responsibility we shoulder. Just realize she is only responding to what she knows.

There were times in the early years of my marriage that I felt threatened and frustrated by my mother in law. Over the years I grew to love her like my own mother and know that she loved my kids and me without question! She was a great lady, so play it cool for now.

[GimiRN]

Many people outside of healthcare (and even some inside of it), really don't know what all being a nurse entails.

Her comment would have annoyed me a bit. But I would have just corrected her in a nice way. "Well _____, it might seem that way. But we actually do a lot more than that." I would have probably given her a brief run down of what a typical night was like. And I would have also mentioned some things you are responsible for, such as ordering supplies, admissions, charting, supervising the CNAs...whatever.

I definitely don't think you should have made an argument out of it. But she will never know if someone doesn't tell her, you know?

[sdlane]

You did the right thing by not saying anything. Sometimes people say things because of what they see or here and really have no knowledge of what is really going on. Like Dixielee said slowly educate her nicely !!!!!!

[SkylerW]

Maybe you should take the nice approach, and talk about some of the things that you do as a nurse to her.

[ooomonkeys]

It doesn't sound like she was trying to insult you. She just seems ignorant. Why don't you use some of your nursing teaching skills so she has a better understanding of what your job entails and why RN's are paid more.

[JenniferSews]

I have been similarly annoyed. Apparently everything I do on a daily basis looks like nothing at all. Passing meds? Standing and doing nothing. Charting? Sitting and doing nothing. Assessing a patient? Talking to them for a few moments and then doing nothing with my stethoscope. The job of a nurse is nothing at all, unless something goes wrong and then it's because the nurse didn't do something. Huh?

I have given up "educating" the public or my coworkers. They don't want to think we are doing anything. When I hear a comment I respond with sarcasm. "Yes, I just sit eating bon bons for 12 hours."

Like other's have said, pick your battles. Your MIL will be there for the rest of her life and your marraige. You can't educate her.

[Twinmom06, ASN, APN]

when I was deciding to go for a local LPN program and waiting to hear from the RN program my MIL told me that LPN's aren't "real nurses" - I set her straight VERY quickly!

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

Sorry that happened, my family's much the same.

When I was a LPN, I was told I should've been a RN. Became a RN with an ADN, was told I should've got a BSN. Working on my BSN, told I should have gone for NP, or just went to medical school. We're eternally judged just shy of not being good enough for something...

I swear, I could win the Nobel Prize and I would get, "what took you so long?"

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

Yeah. Before nursing school, I got the "Just a nurse?".... my self-esteem sank like rocks before then....that was incredibly helpful :)